Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Happy Birthday Josephine

I don't want to dwell on the fact that my Mom is not here for Josephine's birthday but I am still at that point where life has been passing me like that of the lone traveller. I am doing the best to enjoy myself and my family but there is nothing that compared to sharing it with my Mom. She was the life of the party and her energy was so great. I could just imagine her enthusiasm tonight. She had already ordered Josephine's birthday present months ago and had bought some fairy games to play at her party. I am trying to bring myself to taking them out when she has her little cousins over to celebrate in a couple of weeks.

Happy Birthday Josephine. What an honour it is to be your Mom.

*Artwork titled 'Forget Me Not' by my Mom's dear friend Bella Sinclair. Everytime I look at this picture I am overjoyed because it is just a perfect representation of my Mom with my kids but is also bittersweet that they won't grow with her and her with them.


Ces said...

Hello darling Angelique! happy birthday to my Gemini sweet babysisterfriend Josephine. Your Mom would have chewed me off had I not come here and greeted her a most delightful and HAPPY BIRTHDAY.




Annie said...

Sending you love. This has to be a very hard time, but I know your mom is there with you all celebrating.
Beautiful painting.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I am so happy to see you continue to post. I hope Josephine has a wonderful time when she sees her cousins.
My thoughts are with you and your families and I hope Wahid is doing better.
Your writing is a close reminder of Renee's. Your voice is just as lovely and beautiful to read.
Best wishes,

turquoise cro said...

Happy Birthday Josephine! ((((((Josephine))))))Josephine was my mother-in-laws mother and she said to me one day when Jerry, my husband and I were still just dating, "YOU'RE going to marry some day!" and we met on this day, June 1st and of course we did marry! later in December! Prayers for all the family!

Catnapping said...

god bless you.

karen gerstenberger said...

Oh, I love that painting, too. What a wonderful gift that is to your family - your children will treasure it as they grow.

Happy Birthday to Josephine. You are loved by all of your family, those present in body and in spirit. Keep aware and looking for signs of Renee. I believe she is with you in love, and that she will show you that she is. One day at a time, this path of grief. It will get lighter - it will.

Jos said...

Ha! I would recognise Bella's beautiful artwork anywhere, and certainly it is the perfect image to convey how Renee loved being with the smallest members of her family. You could always almost see her big grin whenever she described time spent with Josephine.

Angelique you do describe it perrfectly ... it is like being a lone traveller and it takes quite some time to get to the stage where we truly re-connect with life in the here and now.

Fortunately Josephine is at an age where the adjustment is easier and quicker. Less history, perhaps a little more instinctive faith, and a huge zest for life ... now who does that remind you of? Me too.

Happy Birthday to Josephine! and I hope you enjoy the games Angelique. xx Jos

Anonymous said...

I miss her too.
We all do.
I cant imagine how deeply you miss her.
We love you and your family as much as we love your Mom.
Hugs for you all.
Happy Birthday Josephine.

Mim said...

I am always so happy to see a new post here, it's like a treat for the day.

Happy Birthday to the beautiful, much loved Josephine. Her beloved grandma is looking at her with such love and pride!!

Arija said...

Happy Birthday Josephine!!

I know your grandma is watching over you and all of you she held so dear in life.

While there are those who love Renee, she will always be there to give solace.

It is so much better to have a huge ache in one's heart than not to have had such a wonderful mother and friend. Do go on with your own life as well, but be grateful for the ache that reminds you to appreciate every moment.

With much love to you all,

From Renee's friend, Arija

Baino said...

Angelique, the firsts are without doubt the worst, the seconds not much better but it's you who will keep your mother alive in the hearts of your children. Bella's drawing is perfection is it not? Happy birthday to your little girl and thanks for reminding us of your mum's enthusiasm and kindness.

pinkglitterfae said...

Happy Birthday to sweet Josephine!

I understand how much you miss your mom, she was an extraordinary woman. I miss her every time I look through old blog posts and see her sweet comments, and say a blessing for her.

yoborobo said...

Angelique, I love Bella's drawing. I think it captures the love your mom had for her grandkids perfectly. :) I know she adored them, and would want you to celebrate in grand style. It has to be so hard to be so happy about Josephine's special day, and so sad to be missing someone so important in her life. Happy birthday to Josephine! May the fairies dance all through her life. xox Pam

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

I am sending you a very large warm hug ((((♥♥♥)))).
I have been in your shoes. It gets better slowly; everything is still too fresh. But you are doing well.
Take care.......


Shelly said...

Your Mom put the "life" in everything! A simple visit was always a par-tea ... I think her little "good time charlie" granddaughter is a lot like her ... Happy Birthday to our favorite three year old ... xoxo

Susie said...

Happy Birthday to your little Josephine! I know how hard it is to have such a bittersweet celebration. My mom has been gone for over 7 years now, and still with every birthday that her grand & great grandkids celebrate, I mourn that they are not able to know her as they grow up.

I believe that your mom is there with you, with her angel wings, happily celebrating the birthday too!


Robin said...

To Josephine - a little Angel. May your special day be blessed with joy, happiness and "magic fairy dust". May the day sparkle with laughter and the certain knowldge that Renee - your Grandmum - watches over you, Angelique, Jacqui, Wahid and all the family. You, little one, will ALWAYS be close to her....

Angelique, I know where you are these days...living in a fog that clouds you with pain and heartache, then lifts from time-to-time to reveal sunshine and twinkling stars at night. You are one brave lady - and an Angel in your own right. You are doing a wonderful job in keeping the family together, functioning and living. It is a daunting task - but I know you can do it - because you are Angelique - you are the child of Renee and Wahid.

Much love and strength to all,

♥ Robin ♥

Diva Kreszl said...

Happy Birthday Josephine! you can be sure your Mom is watching and smiling on all of you from heaven :)

kj said...

could anyone have captured your Mom and josephine and dominic any better than this precious precious drawing by bella sinclair?

this is a triple joy for me today. first, your posts are now a treasure in their own right.

then, i know your Mom is loving all of this

and finally, all these wonderful human beings here to leave and share their love for your family and for a Senior Angel with no equal.

there is no filling the space, angelique. i know that to be true myself. but time will help you. and you know what? i think your Mom will help you too.

you are a great kid. no surprise there.

love always

Aarthi said...

oh my what a picture

the wild magnolia said...

Happy Birthday to Josephine.

Thank you for blogging. It is good to hear from you about the family.

Good thoughts and energies sent your way. For you and your family.

Clarity said...

Dear Angelique,

Thank you so much for your beautiful comment on my blog which touched me deeply. Also for your sharing of this blog again.

A while back when Renee sent me her picture, she sent an adorable one of Josephine too on a bench, with the sun trickling around. It just seemed so touching and her that she would "share" her love like that and in a way the limelight, like "Here's me, but look at Josephine".

I hope she has a beautiful birthday, she is a June baby like me and we get the best season ... and mothers.

As you make new memories Angelique, the light will be different, not dimmed, just different. Peace, x.

ALeks said...

Dear,dear Angelique,Congratulations with your daughters birthday,you are such a sweetheart.It is good that you have opened up to us,the blogging family of Renee and now yours too! Believe me,you will be all right darling girl,even if you still can not find it in your heart to feel that kind of complete joy in your heart and mind, do not,and I repeat,do not beat yourself about it,it is OK to feel sad when the one who gave you life together with your dad is not in physical sense around you to hug you and tell you everything will be all right! You take your time to grieve darling and Im sure
Josephine feels what is going on,her grandmama told her the secret now you trust your daughter as your mama trusted you with life and in each life there must be parting and sadness so,ask your close family to help you when you feel overwhelmed.I wish you all much love,light and very Happy Birthday to Josephine,hugs
Aleksandra :)

Diana Evans said...

oh Happy Birthday Josephine!!!! and this piece was one of my favorites too...just perfect for your Mom and your children!!!

Bless you all!!!



studio lolo said...

Dear sweet Josephine, how your Grandmother loved you! I know she'll be there for your birthday party, a senior angel among the fairies ;)

Angelique, I'm sorry that this time is so hard on your family. Jacquie had to find the strength to get through dear Sheldon's birthday. You all had to be strong when your mom's birthday came around. And now it's little Josephine's special day. All of it is so damn hard.

The older we get the more we lose people we love. It doesn't get easier.

My heart is there for you and every single person in your family.

Sending love and blessings, and of course a very special birthday wish for Grandma's girl.♥

Laurel (lolo)

Draffin Bears said...

Hi Angelique,

Wishing Josephine a very happy birthday.
I am sure that your sweet Mother and Grandmother will be looking down and smiling at you all and celebrating with you all.
Love Bella's sweet artwork.

Sending hugs

Lori ann said...

Happy Birthday Josephine, so sweet that painting by Bella. She is still with you Angelique, and with your babies. She's in all of you.
with love,

aj said...

bella, i knew the picture was of grandma and her bestest josephine.
it is simply beautiful.
i don't know ang, if this pic had words it would be grandma telling her josephine to come fly with her and lets show domenic how to fly too....happy birthday josephine, i love you to the moon and back..aj

Gloria said...

Happy Birthday to Josephine. May your day be bright and cheery and may you be blessed and I am sure you will.

deb said...

Happy Birthday Josephine,
sweet little much loved granddaughter of Renee.

I don't know what to say. I'm honoured to be hear, listening to your truth.

I will go tell Bella how incredible that painting is.

dragonflydreamer said...

Happy belated Birthday, to Josephine! I am also happy you have continued to share on this beautiful blog. My heart and prayers are with you and your family. You already know what a beautiful, strong, loving person your Mom was here on Earth and still is as her spirit is no longer bound to her body. She is all around you and the ones she loves. When I found her blog and read her story I was so amazed by her grace and how she wanted to spread the word about the form of breast cancer that so many were not even aware existed, always thinkging of others. She would send me personal messages after I left a comment and I couldn't believe that with all she was going through she took the time to reach out to comfort me. She has touched my heart and I feel I am a better person because of her. I fall short, yet I try to step outside of my own suffering when I am able to be there for others rather than wallow in self-pity. Now I read your posts and see that she lives on through you. I know that it hurts to be without your Mom especially on these special occasions when her absence is like an open wound. No words can take away your pain, but I hope you might find comfort among all of the people your Mother touched as she made her corner of the world a better place. She loved you so much and although the thought of leaving you all made her sad, she was so proud of each of you and your strengths that she was comforted that you would pull together and help each other. I know she smiles down on us knowing that you are also filled with grace and have blessed us by sharing in this beautiful space she created. ((hugs))

xo Susi xo

prutsels said...

Happy birthday Josephine, and many more.

Yoli said...

Happy Belated Birthday dear Josephine you were and are the light of your grandmother!

Angelique my thoughts and prayers are with you sweet girl. I am glad to see this place your Mom built continue through your words.

BT said...

Hi Angelique and Happy Birthday Josephine (belatedly). I love Bella's picture of Mum and your two, it's just superb.

~* Peach Street Folk Art *~ said...

I hope Josephine had a wonderful birthday and I'm sure your mom was there, complete with wings and all...

With Love,


turquoise cro said...

Just stopping in to say I'm thinking of Renee and all of YOU!!!Sending LOVE and prayers!

Robin said...

Just visiting to say hello, I am thinking about all of you.....and sending love and strength. Everyone here, in Renee's blogging world - and now yours, NEVER forgets.

Love, prayers, strength, joy, hope!

♥ Robin ♥

Prometheus said...

Hiya. Long time. I kinda disappeared from the blogshpere for a while hehe. Hope your good, and a belated happy bday to Josephine!!

KateW said...

What a sweet picture and lovely post! Happy belated b-day Josephine!

Pattee said...

I just want you all to know that I am thinking of you.

I have a card that Renee wrote to me and It sits by my computer and so I am reminded many times a day of your mom, sister, wife, grandma... And I cherish her words to me...

Much love to all of you ~

Yarrow said...

Lots of love and hugs to you all, as I'm sure Renee is sending you the same today.x

Ces said...

Angelique, how are you dearest? I think of your Mom constantly and I remember everything we did especially those late night comment marathons with Bella and I miss her so terribly. I hope you are doing well. Please hug Josephine and Dominic for me. I miss your mother terribly. When I am sad, I read my past blog posts and her comments and she still lifts my spirits up. Thank you Lord for my dearest Renee. Take care dearest Angelique.

~Babs said...

Hi Angelique, Just stopping by to say hello, hope your days are sweet, and your nights tranquil.
Many blog posts are being written about Renee The Beautiful,,,every day. Still.
Two years ago I planted a hydrangea for my departed Mom, as it was her favorite. It grew and grew last year, but only THIS year did it bloom. I'm thinking your Mom must have smiled down on it.
Thanks for keeping this blog going Angelique,,,we can come here and tell you of still feeling her love, in all things beautiful. God bless all of you.

Laura said...

A belated happy birthday wish do your sweet little girl!!!

Sophia said...


I'm sorry I have been gone for awhile. I have not been to alot of blogs lately, so it is not you. I am catching up on your blog this morning and so sad to hear of your continued aching/breaking heart. I wish I could say, give, or do something to take it all away and help you feel better, but I know it is something that simply takes time. ALOT of time. Hang in there, keep pressing forward, and know that you and your family are always thought of loved from afar.


Bailey said...

You randomly popped into my head today darling Renee. I don't know why but in you stumbled. I miss you xo

Jaqi said...

Hi Angelique, Im so glad you still have this blog, Its a real comfort to still be able to visit here now and again.
Happy Belated Birthday to Josephine
Im sure Renee is still very much around you all and she will be very proud of you all too.
Take Care of each other , Jaqi x

The Strawberry Mallard said...

A very happy belated birthday to your little fairy child...what love that little girl will grow up with!