My Mom is Probably Going to Kill Me

I am not sure if my Mom will kill me for trespassing in her Blogger account and writing to you (or for putting up this picture) but I think she will be ok with it. Lately, my Mom has been having a rough time. I know she has mentioned the bats flying around in her stomach, but now I would say that they laid their nests and they don’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. As a result, my Mom hasn’t been able to really eat or drink anything since the middle of October. Can you imagine?

She had a biopsy (the beginning of December) to find out what was going on and she did not receive her final results till Feb. 4….that being that the cancer cells in her stomach cannot be identified. The results are inconclusive because the cells resemble stem cells rather than tissue cells. The doctors have told her that they would treat it as a breast cancer (even though it is extremely rare for breast cancer to spread to the stomach) as they believe they are 90% sure that is what it is. At her appointment, they told her that she would start combination chemotherapy today. She heard these results on the day my Grandma died. I had no way of telling her that her mother had died as she spent the day at the doctor’s. Unfortunately, she was there so long and in so much pain; she was unable to visit her Mom one last time.

My Mom continued to suffer in her pain as she had for the last couple of months (believing that this is what it is like when you have cancer in your stomach) but it was becoming unbearable. She went to the hospital on Sunday and she is there still. She has still to find a balance between no pain and no nausea. She is still unable to really eat (I don’t think she could finish a whole yogurt cup in a day) or drink and we are thankful and that she is being taken care of and finally getting fluids in the hospital. The goal is to get her comfortable before they can think of any sort of treatment at this point. Hopefully, this will happen soon.

As for my Mom, I think her spirits are ok. I know that she is quite tired and frustrated. She throws up so many times a day and she is in quite a bit of pain in her legs and back. I imagine she was also quite upset that she hasn’t really been able to grieve for her Mom since she has been in so much pain and she was unable to attend the funeral. How shitty.

I feel like I am rambling but I need to get some of this out. I would normally tell my Mom what is bothering me but I am obviously not able to right now. I also feel that you should know what has been happening as I know her blogger friends are very dear to her. We often hear names and stories of her friends and I know that she takes so much comfort and pride in her relations. I thank you all for your support, prayers and well wishes. They have always meant so much to my Mom and to us, her family. Hopefully, my Mom will recover and be home real soon. I can’t imagine anything but.

Angelique