Thursday, 4 March 2010

Fuck Cancer


It's killing all of us inside. We have watched our Mom, sister, wife and friend slowly wither away. We see the odd glimmers of her fighting spirit and that makes us feel her strength and love but it is still taking us all down and I am afraid of what will happen when she goes. My Mom has had little relief from her pain, nausea and vomiting. We have been told that she could leave us at anytime, but most likely we have about a week or so.
Thank you for all your prayers, best wishes and lovely comments about my Mom. They help and I am sure they will continue to help us through this. I wish I could respond to so many of you but of course, I am tired.

193 comments:

Lisa Lectura Creations said...

My heart just aches with this news. I really hate cancer. Renee, you are in all our thoughts and prayers. My love goes out to you and your dear family.

Gloria said...

Oh my God, I am so sorry for all the pain your mother is going through.Oh geez. I don't what to say, it hurt tee your family going through all this and to think that Renee the love of so many people is having to go through this horror. Makes you wonder sometimes. No matter what, there is a GOD and please God, take Renee's pain away, don't make her suffer any more. This woman who has been so good, why does she have to suffer. I will keep praying for Renee and all your family. I don't cuss but in this case I am in agreement,
Fuck Cancer!
Renee, I'm so sorry.

Sarah said...

Oh hon..of course you are tired with good reason..{{{hugs}}} Thank you for taking a minute and giving us news! I know you are all struggling through this and I am sending love and prayers to all of you!
I love Renee with all my heart and it kills me to hear she is not feeling any relief. Please give her gentle swan hugs from me.
Sending my love a prayers to you all! Love, Sarah

Carol Lawecki said...

Prayers to you Renee and to your family. I wish there was more I could say. I feel so sad. Peace and Love to you and your family!

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

You don't have to respond personally to any of us. You just have to do what you are doing -- love and be present for dear Renee and do the best you can to take care of yourselves.

You are a dear to take the time to update the hundreds that are holding your mother in their hearts.

miruspeg said...

Spoken like a true daughter of Renee....FUCK CANCER....she would be very proud of you Angelique.
Your mother has touched so many souls, she is one is a million, no one in a trillion.
I am so so sorry she is suffering so much. What are the angels doing, why are they not taking care of her.
Come on angels help our beloved friend, please no more suffering.
My light and love are beaming down on you now Renee.
Peggy xxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooo

Kelly Kilmer said...

Fuck Cancer is totally right!

Renee, Sending much much much love to you and your beautiful family. We love you.

Marie S said...

My sentiments exactly, Fuck cancer and the horse it road in on.
May you find the strength of your mother, daughter.
My prayers are with you all. Jacquie gets the goddesses when your mother is finished with them.
I send you all the strength and blessings I have.
I love you dear Renee.

Kelly Lish said...

I wish there was something to say that could help, but I'm sure this is the hardest thing. God bless you and God bless your sweet mom. I'm sending you my love and prayers and wishing beautiful Renee peace.

love, Kelly

flossy-p said...

I'm truly heartbroken for you, and Renee, all your family, and for myself to be losing such a wonderful friend too.

It's devastating, it really is. I've cried and cried so much. But I know it's nothing compared with what you are going through. Be brave.

Much love, and prayers,
.xxx.

♥ Braja said...

The community of bloggers really does pull together at time like this; I went thru something last year and they all rallied and supported and their wishes and prayers and love was tangible....just take it one day at a time and know that you're surrounded....

A Gift Wrapped Life said...

I am so grateful you posted as I was so worried all week, Renee was dancing through my thoughts all week and I was wondering how all of you are doing. I miss her, miss her posts, her fight, her swearing (totally acceptable) and miss the words to say how I feel about this sad, sad time for you all. Nothing is fair here, but I do agree with your title 100%. Give your mom a squeeze for me.And love and prayers to you all. And a hug to you for keeping us worried blogger friends posted. XOXOXOXO

Woman in a Window said...

My love. That's it. My love. (And disbelief but what is that? Such an indomnitable and lively spirit. That's what that is.)

My love.

erin

deb said...

oh yes , perfect button, I pressed it hard.

so glad I checked here before our flight in a few hours.

I wish I could do something. I really do.
Just love my loved ones harder and more and truer.
That is all we can do sometimes.

peace and strength and prayers to you.
I can't imagine .
I cannot imagine.
Sending as much cyber love as a mom, woman, daughter, blogger, Christian, person, can.

Chrisy said...

Darlin girl, Oh you must be so angry! Yes Fuck Cancer big time! To know that Dearest Renee is going through such a painful unpleasant time well it's just tragic and so bloody unfair! Please gently whisper in her ear that Chrisy loves and misses her...

Lost Aussie said...

Praying for love and strength for you all.
I met your Mom last year through OWOH giveaway and she won one of my pieces of art.
I have been amazed at her strength of spirit and lovely heart.

Jeanne-ming said...

yes, fuck it. Sending you love, strength, and a giant middle finger to all that try to beat us.

Ribbon said...

I am very sorry to read of all the suffering you and your family are experiencing.

Thank you very much for making the time to keep us posted.

big love to all of you
and yes FUCK CANCER!

Many members of my family have died because of it including my parents. It touches all of our lives.

xoxoxoxoxo

Dede said...

Angelique we are here for you and your family. I so miss your moms post they are always full of wisdom and humor too. I miss her visits to my blog with a reality check. Although I have never met her in person, I truly love her. She is an angel and will always be my hero! Remember we are here if you need us.
Together strong! And yes, FUCK Cancer!

(((HUGS)))

Annie said...

Yes, FUCK cancer!
Of course you are tired and in pain and none of us expect you to reply to us. It means so much that you come here and let us know how our angel Renee is doing. I am so sorry that she is in pain and has had little relief. I was hoping all our love and prayers would help. I know she feels our love.I am glad that our comments and love help you, that is something, however small. I am sending you big hugs and big love. Kiss your mom for me. xoxox, Annie

Linda Sue said...

Damnit all to hell. She should be given a hefty cocktail- the works - to help her slide into her angel body at this point of no return. Damn, I am so sorry for you all. LOVE LOVE LOVE goes with you always. And Renee- catch you later,girl...in the nethers.

nAncY said...

i am sorry for the pain that your mother and the family is going through at this time.
God's Love and Peace be with you and give you rest.

Deborah said...

Angelique, feel our arms around you, holding you, lifting you up to God. We have all been holding your Mom and your holy family close within our hearts, praying for pain-free time for Renee, time to be in the moment with her beloved children. Yes, Angelique,
F*** cancer. It's not fair. It stinks. But it is what it is, and what you choose to do with it now can either destroy you, or allow your Mombie's strength and courage to live forever within you. What a woman she is. Your family is Love. Your Mom is the most generous woman I have ever met. She has been reduced to love through the Potter's fire. Now you must conform your heart to The Will of God. Whatever any of us who have been privileged to be loved by Renee must do, is to become love...completely accepting, nonjudgemental love. At every moment, we must do what Love requires. If that I could, I would bear some of your pain, of Renee's pain, to give you but a moment with her in clarity.

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Lord, God, look upon your Faithful Servant, Renee, and remove the pain, clear her mind of the drugs, and give her the moments with her family that they need. Jesus, Renee IS the handmaid of The Lord. She has done Your Will. Renee has changed the hearts of every one who met her. Renee has brought us all closer to You. Her Big Work is complete and she is tired. Blessed be God forever. Blessed be His Holy Name. Blessed be the Name of Jesus Christ, the Risen Lord, who is seated at the right hand of The Father, waiting to receive our Beloved Renee. I believe in life everlasting, world without end. Amen.

Renee, I love you. With every fiber in my being, I love you. Thank you, Lovee, for all you have given. Thank you for changing me. I shall have no fear of death, for I know the face that shall greet me. **blows kisses eternally** Deb

TERI REES WANG said...

That's right Sister!

We know there is no reasoning with cancer. Best we can do is to show it no mercy. Drop kick it to the curb.

We cannot be a sponge to the chaos.
We must remember to absorb all the good stuff about the Renee we choose to know, and shed the rest of the scum like a duck.

It's the only way we can keep on swimming once we go back home.

Cheers!...Renee.
Bless...Renee.
Love...Renee on her Graduation day.

Lynda said...

Thank you for letting us know. I check this site daily. Will continue praying for you and your family.

Linda said...

This is breaking my heart and we've never even met in person. Please give Renee a gentle hug from me and tell her she is in my prayers.

Caroline said...

I'm sure many will echo this. I'm just so sorry to read that Renee is still having so much to endure. My thoughts are with you - our family has a similar scenario right now.

Rick said...

Please please please tell Renee I love her and miss her. Fuck! God I wish i could somehow get to her and hold her hand. God, you would think all the love we have pooled together would be enough. I cry right now for your Mom but i fear this will damage me for a long time. I just don't understand....... and I'm really pissed. Suddenly i find myself with an extremely sick 20 yr old daughter and I pound the sky! What has she done??? fucken beat me- i deserve it! but I hear only silence. a deep thunder in the distance. iron bands. Fuck...Rick

Ces said...

Angelique, Nadalyn and Nathan, Wahid, Shelly, Jaqui, Mickey, Renee's family:

Please know that you are in my prayers. I know it is little consolation for your pain and sorrow. I wish love cures cancer... I hate cancer.

Caroline said...

You might know about this site, http://crazysexylife.com/ This is about Kris Carr, the movie Crazy Sexy Cancer. They are a great community, supporting and informative. They saved my spirit as well as my life! I feel your pain. Sending Blessings your way!
If you ever need a friend I am here!
caroline

madtexter ☺☺☺☺☺☺ (corey james) said...

Girl, your mother has been such a brilliant light for me. I understand that she is suffering greatly, but over the past year that we have traded blog comments, she has been such an inspiration to not only me, but countless others as well.

Today, I opened my desk drawer and found the Christmas card that she sent to me (the one that I highlighted on my blog:

http://www.madtexter.com/2009/12/i-got-christmas-card.html

, and it made me exhale with mixed emotions - heartfelt worry, and happiness - knowing that Renee, your mom, took the time to tangibly connect with her readers.

Making the 'Circling My Head' keepsake box that I made her for Christmas was one of the most passionate expressions I have given another human being.

We love and adore your mother, and I hope the love that we are all sending her way is felt by your family, and is healing in some small way.

Much love and hugs to you and your family,
Corey James (aka Madtexter)

Elizabeth said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you mourn Renee's spirit on this earth. We will all miss her and are all filled with heartache for her family.

Love, love, love -- to Renee, to you.

Caroline said...

Ps...
You are amazing, I love your creative spirit. The artwork; all I can say is WOW!
I lost my mother & husband too.
I still hurt. I don't believe there are any answers other than within. However we still breathe, feel, live, ache and above all Love. May you always be incased by the love around you. My prayers will be for your mother.

Debra Kay said...

Thank you for the update-your family is always in my thoughts and prayers. I wish there were another way, but I want freedom from pain for your dear mother.

Vicki Holdwick said...

I am so sorry, Angelique. Your Mom was such a wonderful spirit. It is hard to process that she will be leaving us.

She has touched so many so deeply...

xoxo

Antonia Cardella said...

I'm so sorry. Sending love and light to you and your family, and especially to Renee, who is a lovely and selfless individual who shouldn't have to endure this.

Jaliya said...

All love and a broken-open heart to your family ... xoxoxoxoxox

Diana Evans said...

oh my heart is so sad for all of you...and I can't imagine what you all must feel and I hope that we can all help you through this ...always know that we are here for you....

Give your mom a really big hug from me and Cole...she is and will always be in our hearts....

Mim said...

Of course you are tired. I know you feel us all hovering around sending prayers and love to you and your family and to Renee - but your exhaustion must be overwhelming.
Fuck cancer is right. It sucks, and there is nothing beautiful about it.
If there is a chance, please send love of hundreds to your mom.
mim

Pattee said...

Your beautiful mom, sister, wife, friend does have a fighting spirit and her spirit helps us all.

With a heavy heart and eyes filled with tears... I just hope your mom will find peace and calm...

I hate to think of her in pain...

She passed so much goodness and sweetness in to the world.

She's my angel. I love her like I've loved no one as a friend before..

She's my gypsy soul sister...

Love to her and all of you~
Pattee

one little acorn said...

I am so sad for Renee and all your family and especially sorry Renee is in such pain. If only her pain would go away to make this end somehow easier. Enough already.
Lots of love to you all, and especially to Renee. How my heart is crying for her... and for all of her family and friends too.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

My heart is heavy tonight. I can't even imagine the sorrow and pain you and your loved ones are all going through.
Renee is a dear blessing and I pray for all of you.

Julie said...

Oh Renee, this is too quick. You have me praying, can you believe it? I am praying for comfort for you, that you don't feel so crappy on top of whatever that cancer is doing to you. I am praying for Cancer to get fucked royally. I hate it. I love you. I miss you.

Aarthi said...

your family is in my prayers

The Strawberry Mallard said...

We are all just so sorry......so very sorry........we know what you are feeling, and that makes it even harder, to truly feel what you all do...for those left behind, like us....just wanting to send you so much love and so much energy.......and so much peace..

Nancy & Angus

Jenea said...

Hi Everyone! I am very glad that Renee is comeback! I wish to all of you,- many - health, love and happiness! =)

Sarah said...

I am so sorry to read about this. You hope for at least some relief for pain. I think about Renee every day and all of you and how hard it is for you. Sending lots of love to Renee and to you all xx

nollyposh said...

Love to you All, may your mum, our dearest Renee, in her Heart Be Free from her pain... This i will pray & continue to do so... May she feel her family and all her cyber friends cradling her in their arms, while Angels whisper in her ear that all there is is ~Love~ now <3
Love You Renee, dear sweet friend, may your journey be peaceful & kind to you... Until we meet again xoxoxoxox

kj said...

we will stand our watch now, abiding love without end to our beloved renee and her family:

Oh body!
How did you manage
To step aside,
To transport me to a different universe
Where divine intention
Heals my cells and quells my fears?
.
It's soaring sisterhood
across keyboard miles
leveling my fate,
carrying me past uncertainties
I don’t deserve but manage to don
With designer strength and magic words.
.
In my old pajamas
My bones so deep,
Still they find me, allign me,
Send me words and pictures
And mile-wide hearts,
These friends who travel
Beyond the plains, to reach me here.
.
Oh body!
When did I become so lovely
That in this place
I find community?
And how did I shed my form and frame,
To be recast the leading lady of honest words,
Love washing over me
Like summer rain?
.
When did I become this beautiful?
So wild with grace,
So perfectly shaped and shapen:
I have become myself,
Full and true and open wide,
Comment boxes signed xoxo,
Alphabet orgasms punctuated
with blazing art.
.
Oh body!
I’m walking here!
Don’t bother slowing down.
I am the oak Renee,
My branches wide from Japan to California--
They bend and stretch and reach,
Offering rest and reminder
That the world is rich
Simply and fully
Because of who I am.

written on Renee’s 53rd Birthday,
by kj with love

PurestGreen said...

Sending lots of love to you and your family.

Julie-ann Bowden said...

Angelique, you have replied to us all. I cannot imagine for one minute how you are feeling. I'm so sorry you have and are going through so much. It's not fare at all you have lost so many of your beautiful family and still fighting with this awful and very nasty Cancer.
Renee is such a fighter, she wants to stay with you so much.
The only comfort I can offer is if you ever do get time to read one of my posts about Grandad Solomon and nana's near death experience.
She was able to come back to us for quite a few more months and soon as she came round properly, she told us about seeing grandad and uncle Rueben in front of the gates of heaven. They told her she had to go back as it wasn't her time yet and her family needed her.
I am not sure what is happening with your family and it is all to much to lose so many close and so precious.
Knowing there was a heaven with nana's experience helped a little when she went.
Sending you my love to all of you
We are thinking of you always!

Julie

MBNAD woman said...

As you rightly say, Angelique, "fuck cancer".

With love and kind thoughts to all your family, but especially lovely lovely Renee.

Stars at elbow and foot ... and death shall have no dominion.

Sian x

momcat said...

Renee, Your spirit will remain with us all once your body has given up. Your care for us who you hadn't met and your wisdom and love with remain with us forever. Your relief will be with you shortly and your spirit will soar free from the bonds that hold it. You family must know and believe that you will always always be with them in spirit. Celebrate the life and existence of our dear friend Renee and be thankful that her time of suffering is almost done and she will be reunited with her dear ones that have gone before her. Thank you Renee for everything.

cinner said...

I am sorry for all this pain. I hate cancer, I hate that it has affected your family so. I wish it could all go away. My prayers are with you, your family. Renee has touched so many lives, it makes me angry that this is happening, know she and you are all loved.

wykdwytch said...

heartbreaking....sending love to you all..just so hard...

secret agent woman said...

You don't have to respond, just carry our love to her. And keep some for yourself. Know that you are all held in a circle of light and love,

yoborobo said...

Angelique, you must be so tired. Watching your Mom go through this, well, it breaks my heart to think of what you are going through. I wish I was there to help the family in some way. I am always here for you, anytime you want to talk, and I know everyone who loves your Mom feels the same exact way.

I love you so much, Renee. I want you free from this awful pain. xoxoxo Pam

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

I am so sorry for your pain; I went through almost the same thing with my mother--the many endless days of hospital, being physically exhausted, being torn between seeing my mom slowly diminish and wanting her whole. Waiting....just waiting.
My heart is truly with you because I have walked this unpleasant road......May you have extra angels about to hold you up, and to hold Renee gently.

With Love,
Anne
http://elmilagrostudio.blogspot.com/

Elisabeth said...

Angelique,

I did not know your mother, in the sense that I never communicated with her in the short time that I have been blogging. I have befriended some of her friends though and I am so sorry to hear that she is dying.

Reading through your comment here and back through to the last of your mother's comments back to daisy's death in February, I see that you all must have had a dreadful time, which no doubt continues now with Renee so ill.

I send you my good wishes and my condolences. The spirit of your mother lives on in you and your children.

Angela Recada said...

You are all in my prayers, dear ones. I wish there was something I could do for you. . .

Love and hugs,
XOXOXO
Angela

studio lolo said...

Poor Angelique. You and the rest of the family are not only physically worn, but mentally and spiritualy as well, I'm sure.

We're all holding Renee's hand and heart. It saddens me to think she's still in so much pain. Why isn't there a stronger drug to help her?
I've prayed for such a gentle transistion for her. She has helped so many, it's hard to see her suffer so.

I'll continue to keep yellow flowers in my studio and think of her bright spirit every time I look at them.

Please send her my love and blessings.

Hugs to your whole family. It's hard being string sometimes, I know.

xoxo
Laurel/Lolo

Manon Doyle said...

We all miss Renee so much!! I hate cancer too! My prayers are with your mom and your family. She is always in my heart. I send her all my love.

Sonia ;) said...

Never feel as if you need to respond, what you are going through is very exhausting. And anyone here who loves Renee knows this is the hardest on y'all.

We post, email, and send love to y'all and Renee. In the hopes it all helps and gives love to everyone there.

Renee is a Mom and is fighting because she feels if she leaves who will take care of everyone. Let her know it is ok and you will stand and fill in her shadow and everything will be okay.

Please kiss Jacquie on the forehead and let her know I think about her.

xoxoxoxox Love you Lovey

Baino said...

Angelique. I don't know what to say other than your mother is a fighter and perhaps now it's time for her to just let go . . don't let her suffer . .there is no need. My heart breaks for you because I know what it is to lose someone in this way. Take heart. It will soon be over. Sad as it is, this is the way it must be. Thank you for the update. Feel free to talk if you need. bainbridge1610@gmail.com. maybe not now . .but later . .

soulbrush said...

FUCK IT
sob

Sandy said...

Thank you so much for posting the update, it must be so difficult to think of others during this time of trial for you and your family.

Renee has been a very real component of my dreams these last few weeks and I have woken up in tears in some cases and smiles in others. Such is Renee's power to touch us all. She will live on in my heart for a long time to come and her presence to me is still very real.

Kiss her gently on the forehead, tell her I love her and that I wish peace on her during her these last days.

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this.

Lorraine said...

Please know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers..blessings to you...

Donna, The Decorated House said...

Dear Ones,
Just to let you know we are here.
Reading, crying, sending Love & Light. Wish the hugs were in person.
You are so loved Renee.
Donna

Linda said...

Of course you are exhausted. You and your family have been in the wars too long. Please don't be afraid of what will happen to you when Renee passes. Remember who raised you and loved you all to the moon and back. That is the glue that holds her wonderful family together. Love is the greatest legacy.

I hope you can feel the huge amount of love and the tears coming your way that we share with you now. Believe that each of us thinks about each of you every single day, for we do. We are here for you too, as much as for your beautiful Renee.

She is love and wisdom and joy and golden startdust. And she leaves all that with you.

Renee, I love you dearly and will never forget you. You are in my heart forever. Dearest friend, I pray for no more pain. Spread your wings and fly.

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

Angelique, mere words cannot express the sadness I feel for Renee, you, Wahid, & rest of Renee's precious family. My thoughts are with you all and my prayers are for Renee to feel peace. Hopefully all the wonderful thoughts & prayers from around the world will somehow give you all the additional strength you need.
Love,
Cheryl (aka Lizzy Frizzfrock)

Anonymous said...

You and your family have been on my mind since your last post. I have prayed daily for your family and hold you all close to my heart. Dearest Renee, I so love you.Barb

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sending love and prayers for freedom from pain for Renee and her family. Freedom from pain. Freedom.

Susan Erickson said...

None of us know what is coming next...we all will find out...our memories keep us company when we are getting ready to leave this life. I'm sure she is remembering all the love that surrounds her. Peace and love in this difficult time.....

rochambeau said...

Thank you for taking the time to write to us Angelique. We continue to gather around your dear family and our dear Renee in love.
It is horrible ~
Fuck Cancer is right!

God bless Renee God bless each of you.

Much Love and prayers.
Constance

fairbluemoon said...

All of my love, Dearest Renee. You have touched so many, many lives you can not even begin to fathom. Your strength and pure will has been awe-inspiring. Our hearts are heavy knowing of the pain you are enduring. We want only love and peace for our dear girl.

Know that I am still holding your hand and even long after you let go you will continue to be in my heart. Always.

XOXOXO,

Susan

linda cardina said...

FUCK CANCER FUCK CANCER FUCK CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! renee would be proud of me! I never speak like this to no one or anything unless they/it hurts my loved ones. i so love and adore your mother, angelique. my heart ache so much for u all. please give your mom my gentle hug.....

thank u angelique..
xoxo
linda

Marion said...

Oh, Angelique! Yes, FUCK CANCER!!! I hate that you are all going through so much pain. It's killing me inside knowing our precious Renee is suffering so. You have my prayers and thoughts with you constantly. We love you and hold you up. Love & Blessings!!

Gloria said...

Prayers and strength for you and your family Angelique. Thank you for letting us know. I'm sorry for all the heartache you and yours are going through.My prayers are with you and your family.

Renee, you will always be loved and missed by us all.Go well my friend. We all love you.
God loves you.

karen gerstenberger said...

Thinking about you and your precious mom daily; sending love and prayers for mercy, pain relief, peace and comfort. I wish there was more I could do to help from the West Coast. Fuck Cancer is right!

"Together strong." Renee taught me that saying; I know she taught you, too. Try to rest and take care of yourself as you care for her. Thank you for the update.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to all of you, especially Renee. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Lilacrobin said...

Dear Angelique,
Every post you write IS a reply to each of us. This last entry must have been hell to write....but we of Renee's blogging family are grateful for the update - although we have all been praying for a different outcome.

My red candle continues to burn daily for your beautiful, feisty and loving Mother. I am still praying for a miracle - if anyone deserves one - it is Renee, our Senior Angel and your family.

I know the exhaustion you are going through...it is the most draining feeling - both pyhsically and emotionally. We are all praying for YOU, too.... you must try and take care of yourself - for your children, for your husband, for Wahid - well - for everyone.

Renee, darling, Renee - we miss you so much...God created a special lady when he made you... and he broke the mold. There is and will only be one - Renee.

♥ Love, Robin (from cloudy San Francisco) ♥

Noreen said...

Continued love and prayers are going your way.

Mel said...

Indeed. Fuck it. Cancer is so cruel. Our hearts ache with you, and wish you rest, and peace for your mother. Love is your cushion, and what will help you through this. I'll have the candle lit and hope Renee's suffering is eased.
She is strong, and so are you.
Thank you for the update, and please take care of yourself as well. Water, rest, and hugs are very important now. with love.

kj said...

angelique, whatever we can do...

the love and strength offered here surrounds you and your family in every possible way. we love your Mother so deeply, we understand your pain in ways that are hard to explain.

don't worry about us, let us comfort you, josephine and domemic, your sister and brother, your father, aunt jacquie, however we can.

renee, tuck our love under your angel wing. we love you so much. so so much.

i will see you again in heaven and har har har, next time please may we live near eachother, you and i and blogland lane and the gypsy caravan.

YOU DID IT RENEE. you changed the world you live in. i think the love and energy here will honor and protect your children and grandchildren. but you know this already, don't you?

love always, moon sister. now rest.
kj

Debby said...

I am so sorry to read this post, sending you much love and holding your family in my thoughts and prayers.
hugs,
debby

zoe said...

i'm so sorry. we are all thinking of you and sending warmth and love.

suziart said...

Yes you must be tired, all of you, and thankyou for taking the time to let us know more of Renee's condition.
She has touched many lives and I will be forever grateful that she touched mine.
You all are in my prayers and I pray that her suffering will be taken away.
God Bless you all...
SuZi

ALeks said...

Dear Angelique I do hope you will find some rest while reading this notes from all of us knowing how much Renee means to us and you as her child too! Sending you and Renee huuuuge hug and warmest loving vibes,
love,light and peace,
Aleksandra

She Writes said...

I am so sorry. Words escape me. If only we could bring some measure of comfort to her and to you all.

Yes, FUCK cancer.

Holly said...

having just lost my own mother to lung cancer last week...i am right there with you...just know that you are doing and being all things just right. if you can, embrace the love that surrounds you and allow others to carry your spirit for a while...we are here, we are mighty, we are warrior women. we love you...

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Angelique,

Gratitude...that is what I feel for having known just a smidgen of Renee.

Sadness...that is what I feel for her pain right now, no so much that we will lose her, but that she is hurting.

Please send her purrs from me...studies show that it is healing and can relieve stress, and may those purrs lift her spirit to a peaceful place

http://www.paulapeterson.com/CatsPurr.htmlhttp://www.kessels.com/CatSounds/Tinky.wav
http://www.catsleep.com/

Wine and Words said...

Are tears prayers, and groans, and clenched fists? I give them, for you, your mom, your family. Words fail, bodies too...but Renee, she has a soul that will never whither.

Love you Renee!
-annie

Kate said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Give your mom our love. I wish I could offer more but love is all there is at times like these.

talesfromagarden said...

My heart goes out to you all at this sad, sad time. I lost my Mother to a horrible form of cancer 4 yrs ago this April so I can appreciate what you are having to go through.I wish it would just disappear off the planet because it is taking so many fine young people and older too.I pray that when the end comes that your Mother feels no pain only peace and the love of her family around her. Take care of yourselves.

Sue said...

Dear Angelique, once again you have used some of your precious time with Renee, to update us, and we are so thankful to you.

Your beautiful mom is such an integral part of so many of our lives and while we fear any news, we also need to know. Thank you.

I am so heartsore thinking of Renee in pain and pray that soon she will be dancing with the stars. She is so loved and will continue to be.

FUCK CANCER!

Love to you all

Sue

aimee said...

Thank you, Angelique, for borrowing from your precious family time to keep us updated on your mother's condition. Our hearts hurt for you... I am so sorry. xo, Aimee

Lori ann said...

Oh I am so sorry, i don't know what to say. take care of yourself, best you can. don't worry for lack of words, you have no idea how much your carrying on your mother's space here helps already. you are a loving beautiful daughter and i'm sure, i KNOW your mother would be so happy and proud. bless all your precious hearts. i love you renee.
♥ lori

Marina said...

I'll pray for your mother. I always feel so sorry when I hear such a bad news. I send my love and many hugs to Renee and her family. FUCK CANCER!!! Marina

Flor Larios Art said...

Oh God! I never say this word but I am going to say it for Renee, FUCK!!!
When I started selling on Ebay Renee was the first one to contact me to request a custom made painting. I was afraid and she believed in me and my art. Thanks to her I am where I am now...Renne you will always be a part of me.
Thanks!

lakeviewer said...

Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.

Silke said...

My heart is so heavy for you all! You are all in our thoughts and hearts!! Sending you all my strength and love!! May the angels lift you up! Silke

Bella Sinclair said...

Dearest Angelique, I saw this last night and couldn't put my grief into words. Anything I say, everything I write, sounds tepid and trite compared to how I truly feel. And how I feel, I know, must pale in comparison to the grief you feel. I am devastated, shocked, upset, and despondent. Though I knew she was feeling horribly, this decline seems to have happened suddenly. It's all too fast, too soon. But what breaks my heart the most is knowing that she is suffering through unimaginable pain, holding on as long as she can. I am so sorry, darling Angelique. I wish I could bring comfort to you and your family. You are all always on my mind and in my prayers.

I know your mother started her blog as a way to be with you and your brother and sister forever. Perhaps, when you feel the time is right, you might consider publishing her posts into a book. There are services that will do that for you.

Be strong, dearest Angelique, she who is her mother's first angel. Please know how much we love and care for you, forever and always.

xoxo

Gloria said...

Renee, I came to listen to your playlist and to let you know that I added Earth Song, Michael Jackson and A Change is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke to my playlist as well, so that I can listen to the songs that you have listened to and be reminded of how you shared your all with everyone.

pinkglitterfae said...

I wish you all peace. It breaks my heart to think of beautiful Renee in so much pain, and how frustrating to know that she has had little relief from the pain.
She is never far from my thoughts, she is an extraordinary woman, and you are lucky to have her in your life. Your family is strong, you have all been through so much, and I pray that you find some relief.

May God bless you Renee, dear friend.

xoxo
betty

Diva Kreszl said...

How my heart aches for all of you, such a difficult thing to endure. I continue to hold you all in my prayers. God bless you dear sweet Renee, may he relieve you of your pain and may you walk beside Him in all His Glory!

Suzie said...

Of course you are tired, and none of us expects for you to write to us personally. We greatly appreciate you taking the time away from your dear Mom, to let us know what is happening.

My heart aches along with everyone else, that she is suffering so. It truly does test one's faith, no matter what Path you are on, as to why someone so good, has to go through such a horrible trauma.

And it is painful for her loved ones too, not only see her suffer, but the endure the totally helpless feeling to do anything about it. The pain I feel is for all of you.

I'm sending prayers and energy that a peacefulness will settle over you all, free of pain and stress. You all continue to be in all of our hearts.

lawatha said...

What can I say that hasn't been said? My heart truly aches for you and your family- you've all been through so much more than any family should ever have to go through.

Fuck Cancer. Fuckitfuckitfuckit.

They can send a spaceship to Mars, why can't they find a freaking cure for cancer?

My love to you and your family-

Laura Hegfield said...

I pray for you Renee every morning and evening...I pray for relief from the pain for peace for you and your family. I am so, terribly sorry for your suffering dear one.

May God bless you Angelique and your whole family with continued love and strength to support each other through these unbelievably difficult times.

mermaid said...

I often talk about body wisdom, but have never had to meet Cancer. Your courage is beyond words.

I have a lot to learn.

May you all have many moments of pain relief, humor, and love to balance the ugliness.

kristina feles said...

Dearest Renee, I wish You got as much love in Your life as You were giving Your family and us here on Your blog all the time. Since I know You here, I am so much greatful for the luck I had to get know You with all Your taking care of the people all around You with all the love we got from You.
Angelique You have a wonderful Mother, but I know You know it, and I hope Renee knows it as well.
Dearest Renee and Angelique please take a good care of You all, my thoughts are with You. Love, Kristina

Eleonora said...

Don't worry about replying to us! Just give Renee a soft kiss on her forehead, and whisper how much she is loved.

She is preparing to return home, finally at peace. I am so sad and vulnerable, I feel my words are empty.

All my love and prayers to you and your loved ones.

Ciao Renee, I will miss you...

BT said...

Of course you must be totally exhausted Angelique. Fuck Cancer indeed - you are indeed Renee's daughter. I miss her so much, as everyone does of course. Thank you so much for taking time to update us all, it's so good of you. I hope Renee finds peace soon, I know it will be hideous for you all, but it must be awful to see her suffer so. Just to say I'm thinking of you all, then you know that.
Love
Gina
xxx

A Cuban In London said...

I can't say how sorry and sad I am to read this post. My thoughts are with all of you now.

Greetings from London.

Sally Annie Magundy said...

I have tried numerous times to find the words and have failed miserably but having just read your post Angelique, it finally hit home that the presentation is of little import. What is important is to let you know how dear your mother is to all of us. I only discovered your mother's blog a few months ago but her words resonated and touched me so very deeply. My heart breaks for your mother. I wish I had magic and could ease her pain. I wish I could wrap you all up in my arms. Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Oops! Desperate Blogger~ said...

No words, just hugs and lots of love...

Draffin Bears said...

Dear Angelique,

My heart aches to know that dear Renee is going through so much pain.
Your family have been in my thoughts and prayers, so much.
Having my Father die of cancer back in September was one of the hardest weeks, of my life.
All I can do is send my love and comfort to you and the family and we all love Renee so much and miss her.

Hugs
Carolyn

Debbie said...

I'm so sad to hear this news and I will keep Renee in my prayers along with the rest of the family. I keep hoping that somehow she will still beat this horrible cancer. Please let her know how much she is missed and loved.

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

DAMMIT! I'm so angry, so mad, so sad.

I vow to live a better life because of your mom, my dear blog friend, Renee. You touched my heart, my life, my world and i'm forever grateful!

I WILL try to be a better person because of YOU. No, there is no try........I either do it or I don't. I WILL DO IT!
I LOVE YOU!
Darla

Wendy said...

Been thinking of Renee ever since I read the last blog post. Thinking of your dear mother, Angelique.

I feel your pain. Sending love and healing light for all of you at this most difficult time.
Cyber hugs,

vintage moon studio said...

Not a day goes by that I do not think about your dear Mom several times during the day. I continue to hold all of you in my prayers. I pray she travels her journey in peace.
Love - deb

L.Holm said...

Stay strong, Angelica. Godspeed, Renee. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I love you.
Liz

Anonymous said...

It's just not right...
My heart breaks...
Still hoping for a miracle...

Love Yvette

Deborah said...

Angelique, please kiss Renee on her cheek bone on the right side of her most beautiful face, and tell her that I love her, and whisper, job well done.

B.J. von Schneyder Art said...

I´m so sorry, I am lost of words. Just sending much love and strength your way. You are such a brave woman..

~ Bettina

Jos said...

Angelique, I am still praying. Every day. Always. I hope you are getting some rest. Even with all this going on you must look after yourself too. xx Jos

Maggie May said...

Cancer stinks....
My heart goes out to you all.
It really isn't fair.

Nuts in May

LuLu Kellogg said...

Dearest Angelique~
Thank you so much for keeping us posted. I am so saddened to know what Renee is going through. I will continue to keep her and your family in my prayers.
Love,
LuLu Kellogg

clairedulalune said...

Fuck cancer indeed. It kills me to read this but thank you so much for taking the time to keep us posted, of course you are tired, big gentle hugs and kind thoughts to you and all your family. Renee, I love and miss you! ((hugs))

Great-Granny Grandma said...

Dear Angelique -- my heart aches for all of you, and especially that even now dear Renee is still suffering and in pain. I cann't even start to imagine what it must be like for you to be walking through this with her and being powerless to do anything about it.

Every day I pray for you, and for Renee, that the Lord would have mercy and take away her pain. I still can't come to terms with reality, and keep checking to see if she is back at her computer.

Thank you so much, Angelique, for taking the time to update us, even when you are exhausted and in such emotional pain. Certainly none of us expect you to respond personally.

As hard as this is for all of you, I'm thinking it must be even harder on poor Jacquie, and I'm so praying for a miracle for her, and that something good might arise from all this tragedy--incomprehensible as that thought might seem right now.

(((((hugs)))))

kathy hare said...

Lots of love to you Renee and your wonderful family... I wish your pain would stop my darling friend..

XOXOXO

Marion said...

Yes. FUCK CANCER.

I have no words of comfort, Angelique, just hugs and love for you all. Thank you for the update...it was probably the last thing you wanted to do right now. Stay with your Mom and tell her it is ok for her to go. Love and many blessings to you, dear girl.

kendalee said...

Still thinking of you all, with love.

Debra said...

Oh Renee! I wish I could ease your pain, dear God cut these people a break! I pray for her and your family. I send my thoughts to her, and thank her for being who she is and all she has shared with us.

Barbara said...

No need to respond, just know we all care about you and our prayers go out to you and your family.

prutsels said...

So sorry it is such a hard road.
To suffer, to see her suffer.
I admire your family for being there when it matters most.

karen gerstenberger said...

I know you are probably WAY too busy to deal with this right now, but I want you to know that I gave your mom an award on my blog today. I "met" her here because I was given the "Renee Award" by another blogger, so it seems right that I can give on to her. Sending it with prayers for mercy, pain relief, comfort, peace and infinite love. XOXOXO

Leticia said...

Your lovely family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, be strong.

Bobbi said...

Hi, I agree, Fuck Cancer! My heart is torn for you and your family! Your mother is such a wonderful, giving, loving, strong woman that has touched the hearts of so many! Please know that she is in my thoughts and prayers! Also you and your family are to. May our Lord's love, strength, grace, mercy, peace and joy surround yous!
I'm so sorry to you and your family, I love you Renee, May God Bless you!
Hugs and much love...
Bobbi

Ariadone said...

From the cold clear sky in The Netherlands we pray for Renee...Be strong..stay with her there until it is done..and Angels will carry all of you....
Love
Godeliva van Ariadone

Margaret Ann said...

Sending prayers and hopes for gentle peace...XO

Christina said...

Renee is in my heart, everyday. Your mother has been so kind to me.
I am praying and sending you all love.
God, we ask that You please watch over Renee, and her family.
xo

Becky said...

Angelique,
Thank you for taking the time to respond. This is your challenge. It will not be easy as you already know. This is the mystery of life and there are no answers, only faith. It is faith that will guide you and see you through. Whatever your spiritual beliefs, now is the time to call upon them and let them guide you. Yes, life can be unfair and present us with difficult challenges. Your mother knows this. Renee has a deep and everlasting faith that all will be well, and you must know this. Take hold of it and let it lift you up. This too will pass. Celebrate the good, and try to let go of the pain, difficult as it is. Practice self-care as you are able, as that is what your dear mother Renee would want you to do. You are such a shining example of her boundless love. I am a better person for having experienced her love and forgiveness, and that is all that I have to offer you at this time.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal."

Dear Angelique, peace be with you, and so much love is surrounding you, receive it in peace.

@eloh said...

Peace, I miss Renee already.

A Thousand Clapping Hands said...

I think of Renee every day, many times a day. I miss her. I wish she could know how much she has meant to me.

Catherine

Nina P. said...

Written for a friend battling Cancer.....
The only words that came out were, "this really sucks..."
Sometimes that's all that can be said to describe situations
beyond our control. Below is a result of the overwhelming
feelings that come up/out when life doesn't seem fair.






WHEN LIFE REALLY SUCKS

There are those times when life really sucks
And you just want to say "What the Muck!!!!"

At those times when all seems lost
You just want out regardless the cost

It's at these times you must let in
Those you trust that make you grin

When life gets hard just grab a hand
And hang on tight to make a band

Walk with Faith and look above
For even in hardship, you'll find Love

So shed a tear and curse a bit
If it were me, I'd throw a fit

Let anger fuel you in your fight
Faith and friends will give you might

Whatever you think whatever you do
Let in a friend, we care for you

You need a punching bag or a hug?
Or just to holler, you’re never a bug

A kick in the pants, we're there as well
Maybe a laugh..., oh what the hell.

We'll listen and be there through it all
With friends and Faith you won't fall

So, on this road when life's really a suck
Find Faith and know it's not all luck

With friends and family and God above
Through this fight you'll find Peace and Love

You'll win this battle and come out strong
And you won't be alone be it short or long

Just one last thing I want to say
You'll be in my prayers everyday.

Written with Love and Prayers,
Nina Ploetz (1/7/09)

Karin Bartimole said...

Fuck it indeed. I sit here mildly feverish, very nauseous following my third round of chemo, knowing my side effects would be worse by ten fold if it weren't for all the advice your mother lovingly shared with me to help ease the symptoms. God how I miss her. Every time I dream I think - how would Renee interpret this for me?! Alwaya taking time to share her insights with great intuition. I love Renee deeply, and you through her. My heart is heavy thinking of her pain, but so full thinking of her light.
Much love to you all. My prayers are with you Renee...

turquoise cro said...

((((((((Renee and family))))))))
Kiss my Renee for me, love and many prayers

~Babs said...

I just got back in town and checked here, first thing. Thank you Angelique,,we all go to bed and wake up thinking of Renee, and your family.
Someone said she has changed the world, and I couldn't agree more. At least for us who were gifted with her har-hars and x's and o's.
And that's no small thing.
May she be free from pain.
Love and prayers to you and your family all, Angelique.

RivkA with a capital A said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Don't even think about it...take care of you, and your mom!!! So, so, so sorry...Sending you much love and prayers, Janine XOXO

Ces said...

Dearest Angelique, Nadalyn, Nathan and Wahid,

I am writing this comment because today I spent the better part of the day thinking of Renee. It is a solemn day. I realize she will not be back again to banter with me and Bella like those nights we used to do for hours. I will not be able to check in with her in the morning. My blog, Bella's blog and your Mother's blog, now being updated by you Angelique, serve a s a testimony to the fiery spirit that is your mother. That is why it is so painful to accept what is happening to her. We all knew she was sick when we met her but somehow we just did not want to think of the inevitable. I think it is because she is so full of life. Her spirit is such a spitfire sometimes more so than those of us who are not ill.

The waiting is very difficult. I check your blog every so often. I am praying fervently for your mother to be pain-free and not physically suffer. I have been in your position, it is very painful to see a loved one suffer and sometimes I prayed until I was numb. I am rambling.

You think I would be experienced in going through this kind of situation since I have done so before. The blogs is a totally strange phenomenon. We feel deeply for someone we have never met but just the same the feelings and sensations are the same as with other relations, for in your mother's case, she is so honest, so truthful and with every interaction she made she touched our hearts with her words.

I know this won't relieve your pain but your Mother will live in me for she has occupies a place in my heart long before she is no longer able to log in. She does not need to any longer, she already in.

Thank you for keeping us informed.

Take care Angelique, Nadalyn, Nathan, Shelly, Jacqui, Micky, Natalie Renee (thank you for your comment), Taylor and your other family members… Wahid, I am so sorry for your loss. Renee told me you are just like my husband and the thought of you in pain and crying breaks my heart.

Love,
Ces

Anairam said...

Angelique, hold on to the love at this terrible time for Renee & you & your family. I am thinking of you and of lovely Renee.

Lisa Gatz said...

FUCK CANCER. It's been my motto for 3 years and even more on this day as I read your update, Angelique.

FUCK CANCER. It's a monster that ravages and I would love to murder it.

Kiss your mom's forehead for us all. There is so much love going to her. I am genuinely sorry that she is in pain and having to deal with the vomiting and nausea. God bless you, Renee. I know that you will go home eventually. I know that you will be waiting for all of your friends. I will meet you some day.

Angelique, I know that you're scared. The strength that your mother has passed on to you will be there in you. I have always believed that God gives us what we need to deal with death when the time comes and not before. You will make it through, I promise. Josephine will grow and will be such a great woman because of you and your mom. Renee has touched more lives than it seems possible to touch (unless you're mother teresa!) Did you smile?

Let yourself go to the sadness when the time comes and remember that it won't destroy you. It is part of our humanity to grieve. We have to do these things.

Please make sure you get some support...people to talk to and cry with.

I pray for Renee's comfort, sweet angel she is, and for your peace, Angelique. We are all here praying and sending all of our love.

Loni Edwards said...

Love to you, Renee. You have touched me and made me realize how precious my life is. Thank you my friend. I will always remember your wonderful, thought provoking posts. Much love to your family also. I know this is so hard on all of you. xoxo Loni

ToM KiDDo said...

together we fuck cancer!!!

Jaqi said...

It is with huge sadness i have read your message. My prayers are with your mum and all of your family.
It is an awful thing Cancer, it doesnt care who it takes, but your mum has stood and faced it head on, she has also given alot of others the courage to do the same with her continued support.
May God bless her now , she is truly an angel and the world has been a better place for everyone that has been touched by her kindness, support, encouragement and caring.

I am glad to have had her friendship and her words of kindness to me I will never forget. I pray for her pain to be over , and her suffering to stop.
(((((Hugs))))) to all of you .
You are all in my thought, Jaqi x

yoborobo said...

Angelique - I have thought of you and your family for days. I wake up thinking of Renee, and praying that she can be pain free at last. Your family has gone through so much, so much pain and loss. Your Mom holds a very special place in my heart, forever and ever. I know she would want me to tell you to take care of yourself. I am always here for you, always. Would you please hug Jacquie for me, and tell her I love her? Such hard, sad days for you all. Love to your family, your Dad, your brother and sister. Love to you all. xoxo Pam

rochambeau said...

Hi Sweet Angelique,
Know I am praying and sending good thoughts for your mom and you and your family! Will continue to pray for peace.
Much love,
Constance

You are a light of the world ~

Anonymous said...

Angelique, you do your mother proud carrying on her words, her spirit, her courage...if only love could cure cancer, she would be well...wishing Renee peace and deliverance from her pain.
Together strong.
xoxox
topangamaria

Lilacrobin said...

Dear Renee, Angelique and family,
just checking in on a Sunday morning. I have been reading all the beautiful and inspirational comments from Renee's "Blogging Family". There is a lot of wisdom here and so much love....

Renee, we all hold you gently in our arms, place a cool hand on your brow and give you a loving kiss.

Angelique, the same applies to you... you ARE your Mother's daughter -in every wonderful, vibrant way.

My red candle keeps burning, as does my hope in a miracle.

♥ Love and strength from Robin in sunny, Spring-like San Francisco ♥

Angie Muresan said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Prayers that you are comforted. Love to you.

Paul Spooner said...

All my prayers...

Yarrow said...

May all my love and prayers and strength find you all.x

Dawn said...

Dearest Angelique, every day I visit to see how your mum is doing and as the page is loading I hold my breathe... I agree with you and wish that the cancer would just FCK OFF!

I wish I could wave a magic wand and let all your mum's pain disappear it must be so hard for you all, I can't begin to imagine!

it is heart warming to see how loved your mum is and I hope you do take comfort from that, I pray for peace for your mum and I pray that you as a family stay united as your mum would want that, big hugs to you and make sure you take care of yourself and Josephine too xxxx

Deborah said...

Oh Lovee, it's a beautiful day in the desert. You would love it...Spring comes early here. I'm planting the seeds you sent.

The Birds have stopped circling your head and sit upon you pillow
in watchful silence. White doves of Peace await you, Lovee. Blue skies all the way, Renee, and not a bat in sight.

May the Peace of Christ be with you. I love you to eternity, Renee.
♥♥ ♥ Deb

Michelle said...

I just went through this with my mum a month ago. I feel your pain. I love your mum, she helped me a lot this past two years and I am grateful to have known her. I send you love and pray for Renee to cross easlily. It really isn't fair is it.
xx

Annie said...

Angelique, Just checking in and blowing kisses and giving out hugs.
This for you, though I am not counting out that a miracle could still come to pass, but if it doesn't:
Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. Rabindranath
Tagorre
Renee, I love you.
xoxo

Debbie said...

I am so incredibly sorry for your pain. Your family continues to be in my prayers.

Inner Toddler said...

Fuck cancer is right. she shouldn't have to suffer like this. No one should. sending you and renee and your family all my love. xox susie

Momo Luna said...

I send you all my love, prayers, strength. It's so sad to know our lovely Renee is in so much pain.
I am happy that i've met you on the www dear Renee, know that i love you! I miss you too....

xxxxxx and all my ♥ Monica

Poetic Artist said...

My heart goes out to you and the family..My thoughts are with you and Renee.
Hugs,
Katelen

Gloria said...

Renee, today was one of those very hard days for. It's been six years today since my son left this world. We went to Santa Nella Veterans cemetary to visit him and we talked on the way over there. We talked about you, about cancer, about Val my son and why everyone has to suffer so much. My thoughts and prayer's are with you all the time. We started to come home and I thought I would call my mom up and she is having problems with her back. So we rushed over to San Jose to see what was needed. We were there most of the day. She is doing fine now. We'll be taking her to her doctor's appt. on Tuesday. It's strange how even when times are so very hard, we go about taking care of the things that need to be taken care of. I love you Renee, my best blogging buddy. I am always thinking of you and looking at your pictures.
God Bless You.

Alli said...

My heart is so heavy reading your posts.
You bet FUCK CANCER!!

I wish Rene Peace & Blessings and your entire family as you go through this transition.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Love Alli XX

Annika said...

Thinking of you and send all my love and prayers to you all. I wish with all my heart that Renee will feel no pain and suffering.....give her a varm and loving hug from me here in Norway :(

soulbrush said...

hello angelique, it is monday and we all face it with hope in our hearts at the prospect of having a good week ahead. but what will this week bring for you and dear dear renee? and all of you? may it be a peaceful one and if renee is to go now, may it be a safe and easy journey for her, with all our arms around her saying goodbye.

Arija said...

My love is with you all in this terrible time of Renee's suffering. Be sure all of Renee's friends are praying for her relief and for strength for all her loved ones who witness her the depth of her struggles. I for one hold you all in my prayers and thoughts every minute of every waking moment.

Blessings, love and light...
Arija

ArtPropelled said...

Sending love .... so much love ... to you all.

Coralie Cederna Johnson said...

I appreciate the news as sad as it is. I think of you every day. Please tell your precious mother (I know you already do) that we all are here loving her and you and the whole family. Prayers for you all, Coralie

Marie S said...

I love you sweetone and I wish peace, sweet peace. Bless you Renee.
Take care Angelique and all of you.
You are always in my thoughts and I send love whenever I think of you all.
Huge hugs for Renee and all of you.

nollyposh said...

i think on you today Dearest Renee, i think of you as a bird cage, hanging in an old Elm tree with cage door open and all the Butterflies within flying free... i see you in all your glorious butterfly colors, You are ~beautiful~ my friend <3

Cottage Cozy said...

My heart aches. I am so sorry for you all. Please accept my prayers.

Carrie

Indigene said...

I echo your sentiment! We are all holding you and your family in our hearts and in love!

CarolineH said...

Angelique,
Words just can't be said on how much love I have for your mom. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but damn it...it's just not time. We all still need her so much.

I'm so sorry for your family, but be strong, and know that your mom is so special..more than anyone can imagine. What a strong woman! She reached out to people all across this earth and gave them strength and love. She understood the complexities of other peoples lives and yet never judged them. She's our very own living angel, and she'll be an angel forever in 100's of peoples hearts. Your mother has made a difference.

I'm so not good with words at such times, but I sang a song..your mom always liked to hear me sing. :) You don't need to publish this, but you can if you wish.
An Eagle When She Flies is on my blog. It is the last thing I'll put on there, in memory Renee. I hope one day, you'll have the strength to listen to it. The words are sooo true, and it actually gave me some strange sort of comfort to sing it.

Please give Renee a kiss from her sister of the heart. I love her so much, and always will.

Love Caroline H

Deborah said...

Oh Lovee, how I miss you. Your name is a constant prayer upon my lips, spiraling up to heaven, golden threads of love, connecting us to eternity. All my love to you, Deb

Tumble Fish Studio said...

I don't know you and you don't me and I'm not really sure how I got here, but . . . I just got back from spending 5 weeks with my dad as he passed away from cancer. He was only diagnosed with it a few days before I got there. I just want you to know, I know how tough it is what you're going through. My mom passed away several years ago and so it was mainly me that cared for my dad and so much of what you've described is what we went through too. Just want you to know I am praying for you and thinking of you.

Meghann LittleStudio said...

I pray for you all constantly, I feel that you are like my own, extended, family. I am aching on your behalf, I am so sorry that anyone has to go through this. I pray that Renee won't suffer any more, so that she can make her final journey to the Lord in peace.
God Bless You All,
Meghann

rochambeau said...

Dearest Angelique,
Thinking of your Mother and of you.
My heart is near.
Love,
Constance

fheathermoore said...

May your mum be at peace. I didn't know your mum or her blog, but it was through Karin's blog that I heard she was losing a great friend who was comforting her through her own cancer. Your mum must be an amazing woman, and I think of you all in this time of great pain and torment. I hope that her passing will be quick and as painfree as possible.

Silver said...

Just had news from Peggy and came here soonest i can..

Renee has touched and inspired us. Taught us to love and be courageous.

Love and Peace to your family,

Love You, Renee.

Yoga Unites for Living Beyond Breast Cancer said...

Thank you for sharing this Renee...unfortunately everyone is affected by breast cancer in some way or another. That's why we hold events like Yoga Unites for Living Beyond Breast Cancer!

mermaid said...

Renee, I know you can still hear me.

You are free of suffering.
May your children, husband, and family hold their own suffering with kindness and ease.

In your passing, you have taught us all who still remain on earth how to be free if we only open our hearts.

I will miss you.

Dean Grey said...

So very true.

I think people who don't have sick family members don't realize that when one family member is ill it affects the entire family. I didn't know this until my uncle was diagnosed with colon cancer this past September.

Everyone suffers a little bit with them along the way.

It's a shared pain.

Renee has been through a lot as have the rest of your family.

My condolences.

-Dean

Chris said...

Thank heaven for Renee.

~Grace and Peace said...

Angelique,
I came from deb's blog (forsaken for lent/talk at the table). I weep with you. We have a similar story. My maternal grandma and my mom both passed less than a year of each other. Cancer also touched my mom and she also lived longer than her doctors expected (4-1/2 years). Her greatest motivation for living was seeing her grandsons grow up.

I still miss her 5-1/2 years later. I just want to let you know someone out there knows your suffering. ((((HUGS))))