Deep Breath In

The four of us first met at the 'Relaxation and Stress Reduction' group held at Cancer Care on McDermott. There was Helen, Angie, Jill and me. There were a few other ladies in the room as well, but really the only other one that mattered to me was Peggy.

The stress group was held once a week and I think it was on a Wednesday. The social worker was Tom and I was attracted to his compassion right away. Sometimes it is so feigned. His really was genuine.

Each session would start with us taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out.  We would then all sit solidly in our chairs with our feet on the floor.  Close our eyes and breath in and out.  Watch your breathing.  Next we would listen to Tom telling us to imagine walking through a forest, on a beach, looking at nature, basically anything that would take us out of our reality and place us somewhere that was more comforting and less threatening than what we were all facing.

We would then talk about different situations that stressed us out and what techniques we could use in those situations that would calm us down.  But mostly we would talk to each other about how we felt.  We all cried alot and we all comforted each other.  That is, it seemed that Helen, Angie, Jill, Peggy and I did.

My first impressions of these four ladies:

Helen was a petite lady and she was quiet and strong looking.

Angie was young, was sure of herself and asked lots of questions.

Jill was around my age and her joyfulness just poured out of her.

Peggy was older and looked like a beautiful version of Barbie.

Helen and Peggy have breast cancer.  I have inflammatory breast cancer.  Angie had colon cancer.  Jill had lung cancer (all people with lung cancer DO NOT SMOKE).

I lost my impressions of these ladies after I fell in love with them.  All I could see then was them.  I loved everything about them and I still do.  With the exception of Peggy, they are all dead now and I yearn to see them all once again.  

In one of our sessions Tom had another therapist come in.  We were crying and all talking about leaving our children behind which broke all our hearts.  The therapist piped in 'I understand what it must be like.'  Okay, we give her the floor.  She proceeds to tell us that 'It is hard when she brings her daughter to daycare and has to leave her there.'  Like is she serious.  Everytime I saw her after that, I was like what an idiot.

Overall the group was great for me because Helen, Angie, Jill, Peggy and I started meeting at Jill's house every Wednesday.  We would meet from 1 pm to 3 pm and we would call it Jill's house.  We met for almost two years.  

Now I need to take a deep breath in.