It has been two weeks and one day since Josephine has last seen her Grandma and it feels like an eternity. She, who has been so lucky to have spent so much of her two and a half years with Grandma, may not see her again and that just makes me feel so heartbroken. Josephine is addicted to her Grandma and her Grandma is addicted to her. Even in her drug induced states, my Mom has been speaking about her Josephine, who I am proud to say, has a spirit as strong as her Grandma’s.
It feels like it’s been forever since I sent the update but it has just been one long roller coaster of a week. Considering all the love and prayers that you have all been sending, I am surprised that my Mom isn’t cancer free right now. I have to thank you all for your support and comments. They have been truly uplifting for our family in such a horrible time. Unfortunately, things are not going so well for my lovely Mom. It is now the beginning of the end for her.
It turns out that the cancer has spread to the stomach, the lining, and the bone marrow. All of which have been causing much pain. I only just saw my Mom with relief on Wednesday. It was wonderful to have my Mom back, even if for only 20 minutes. The doctors have not given us much for prognosis and no amount of time will ever be enough. All of a sudden, things seem to be happening so fast.
We are lucky to have such a wonderful family to help us get through this. Despite all that has been happening over the past 6 months, we couldn’t ask for more support and love. My Auntie Mickey and Colette have been around to spend days and evenings with my Mom. My Auntie Jacquie and Auntie Camille are doing everything they can to come down at every opportunity, as well as my Auntie Shelly. I have had my cousins Taylor, Chrissy, and Natalie, as well as my Auntie Jeannine come to watch the kids for me so I can also spend time with my Mom during the day. We are so grateful for their love and support, as well as others that I have not mentioned.
Even though I knew Josephine and Domenic wouldn’t have this amazing person in their lives for very long, I couldn’t help but feel that just maybe, she might make it for another 20 years. She wasn't a Grandma long but you couldn’t imagine a better Grandma. As my Mom would say, she learnt from the best.
She is such an amazing mother. We are so heartbroken as we watch someone we love suffer so much yet persevere. I understand that this is how life goes but it still feels unfair. I know how lucky I have been to have had such a beautiful person so close to me in my life but I still demand a recount. I still need my Mom for another 54 years. She is my first home, my biggest cheerleader and my first and greatest true love.
372 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 372 of 372Just stopping by to send my love to you all and gentle hugs to Renee. Love you hon, Sarah
I remember the day that you came on my blog and I had just added a song to my playlist, La Llorona by Lila Downs. You loved it and said you were adding it to your playlist and you did. All the things you told me are coming back to me. When I was in pain with the arthritis, you ran over to my blog and said, "Take Tylenol for Arthritis, Gloria." I ran out and bought a bottle and it did ease my aches. You are always worried about someone, God Bless You Renee. You will always be in my heart.
One has only to look at the number of comments on this single thread to get an inkling of the number of lives whom Renee has touched with her wit, her wisdom, her strength and beauty.
Thinking about you, Renee- it hurts my heart to think of you in so much pain.
xoxoxoxox
Thank you for sharing something that must be sooo hard for you to express.
I just wish that I could send a message to Renee one last time and that she would write something funny on my blog. How selfish we all are when we just want to keep her here.
Renee's words have touched me so very deeply. I'll miss her so much.
My prayers are with you all.x
Sending Prayers and Love to you and your family.
Hug your Mama for us please.
Love,
Constance
I'm still here loving you Renee...
Thank you, thank you Angelique for keeping us up to date as well as you can with your mom.
My heart breaks again and again....
Tell her Pattee is still her traveling gypsy soul sister...
I really hope you aren't' in pain Renee.
Much love to you and your dear family~
Pattee
Stopping in with a hug and a kiss for you all.
Many prayers are going up for you, Renee...
Pattee let us know in her Odd-Dolls class what your current condition is... and words can't express that you are loved so much by those who are dearest to your heart...and those of us who just want to give you some comforting words...many bloggers are thinking of you.
Peace
Teresa
(from Pattee's class)
And 'Amen', to what Deborah said.
I think I commented before Angelique but if you have time, will you read my blog post about your mom? I'm going to paste it here. You don't have to post approve it as a comment.
thanks,
Lisa
--------------------------------
I'm in a very strange place today. Do you know how it is when you follow blog links and people who leave comments and their links and groups they belong to, etc? It can be such a grand adventure!
On Saturday afternoon it was very rainy and I sat looking out my real-life window and I worked on my website. Every now and then I would go to my open blog computer-window and visit a new site. You see, I had just returned to blogging after many months of the blahs.
Somehow I landed at Renee's blog, Circling my Head. The first post that I read was from her daughter because Renee is now passing over to the next life as a result of Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I saw a picture of Renee and her precious little grandaughter walking, and my heart was torn apart.
I read Renee's words for hours, old blogs, blogs by topics, went back to the beginning blog. I read again yesterday for some time. Renee has touched my life and I have never even exchanged words with her. She brought to light things that I have thought of but didn't want to talk about, not even to myself. Deep fears, when not faced, can be a demon that poisons your every glance at the landscape. This is so with me.
Renee addressed all of those demons. And people didn't run away! She is an honest, gutsy, and loving woman who I admire, although I don't know her. But I do. She is part of me. And she cusses, besides! I like that ;-)
I generally shy away from cancer topics on my blog because I figure that no one wants to read about them. My own journey through breast cancer 3 years ago till now has left me reeling. I honor Renee today and want to say that it was her words that led me through a place of pain over the last couple of days to some real healing and self-care. I cannot really describe what has happened...I may be able to create something eventually that expresses it. This thing is beyond words.
To be so loved and to love as much as Renee does, that is my wish in life. Be free, sweet angel, Renee. Know that I love you, too.
dear angelique, i hope these comments find their way to your heart, to your brother and sister, perhaps to your Mother's ear or to a touch of her face. they are so filled with love. please know this is not a common occurence on the blogs. people make friends, share, laugh together, but your Mother: she found a way to uniquely connect with every one of us who loves her. she made it be one-on-one, each of us feels so special and so very loved. and she had magical adventures with each of us.
we are now starting to share those adventures and manohman, did your MOm have wicked fun traveling around the world.
your Mother called me on Christmas eve, what a present that was! sometimes she called me on lazy Saturdays, i think to see how i was doing, to tell me stories about josephine and domenic and what an incredible grandmother she is, that she has no fear about the future except she may become a footnote in their lives.
i know you will never let that happen. i know it is not possible, because She won't let it happen either.
your Mother phoned me from time to time, i think, because she knew i liked connecting with her best that way. she is like that, you of course know, she gives what is most helpful, in her wry, witty fuck this fuck that brave wise loving way. "if i hang up on you, kj, it's because of the fucking bats." "i know renee" and she would proceed to talk my ear off, until it was time for her to listen, and then she would listen well.
i miss her words so much, angelique, but mostly i pray that she is no longer in pain. and i pray for nadeline and nathan and your Father and josephine and domenic, that you will be comforted, that your incredible Mother will somehow always be with you. i think you will find that is the case.
i used to tell my little daughter that if anything happened to me, to look up in the sky at night and i would be the brightest star, telling her how much i loved and watched over her.
your Mom will do that. for certain your Mom will do that.
all my love to you honey. please touch your Mom's face and let the love of so many touch her through you.
love always,
kj
Renee's spirit touched everyone deeply and I will miss the remarkable woman that I grew so fond of in the short time we knew each other ,whether it was by chance or by fate I do not know but I am grateful...death be not proud...
Many Blessings,
Flora
Oh Renee, Renee, Renee...sending you big, squishy, love filled hugs.
Angelique, Thank you a million times over for keeping us updated on your Mom.
Sending Mom and her entire family hugs and much love from afar.
Angelique sweet girl, I can only imagine the pain you are in. Our prayers are with you and with Renee which we have come to love through this blog as if she were family. We feel so connected to her and to all of your through her words.
Sending you and Renee pure love.
I don't know if my earlier comment went through, as I was signed in on a different computer.
Sweet Renee. I wish could plant kisses on the skin that houses an angel's soul. That can't contain the soul of an angel.
I consider it an honour that her grace touched me.
Please accept my prayers for comfort and peace, this beautiful family , this beautiful love
I don't know you but found your blog trough arija. What a lovely tribute to your mom. This post made me cry. I pray she passes sweetly on and is out of pain very soon. Her gift of love and life will never be forogtten. You carry it within you.
Good Night Renee. I'm up late. I remember onc night I was up around this time and I left a comment on your post and all of a sudden I got a comment back at my blog on a post and you said, "gloria, what are you doing up at this hour?" You knew I always went to be very early, like 8pm or 9pm and here it was almost 11pm and I was still up. I miss you, but I feel you here. Like I said....you'll always be here. Love ya. gloria.
Prayers to you and Angelique and all the family.
I so love Renee, thank you for posting her picture so I can finally put a face on this angel that is your mother. This is how I imagined her to look, stunningly beautiful. I am so sad. I am thankful to you for writing sweet sweet words about your mother. Please keep doing that.
Orly
Just came across to deepaz blog and came to knw about renee... though i dont knw her much she has always encouraged me by giving wonderfull comments for my blog.
please give my regards and prayers to renee...i dont knw what to say more but couldnt stop writing as well... take care and i wl pray for Renee..and you all......she is a wonderfull person! hugs to renee.
Angelique, I am holding you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I am so moved by you and your family and my heart goes out to you.
xoxo
Debby
Thank you for the update Angelique, I have been waiting every day to hear something, anything about our beloved Renee. I am so sorry that you are all having to suffer through this terrible time as she begins to make her final transition. We all love you and your family so much - Renee has written about all of you so much that I know I can speak for all of her blog readers when I say that we feel as though we know your family. I am so glad that Renee can have such a loving, supportive family around her during this very difficult time. I am praying for you all every day and I pray that Renee can stop suffering. I really don't know what else to write, I knew this was coming, but I am still shocked and so very saddened by this latest turn. You all feel like my family and it hurts me to think of losing Renee and for your family to hurt so much. I am so very, very sorry.
Hugs and prayers,
Meghann
I never got to know Renee as I heard of her thru another blogger.
Oh God...Oh God...What you are going thru....I pray for you all & especially Renee.
Love,
Marilyn
xxoo
Sending much love to the most courageous of friends - Dear Renee, my heart goes out to you and your family.x
Oh, poor Renee.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Angelique - with love to you and your family.
Mad x
Hey Lovee. I miss you already like crazy. Every song reminds me of you.
There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Dear Angelique,
Sending love and prayers to Renee, you and all the family. My candle is burning every day and night.
I KNOW Renee feels all the love and prayers that are surrounding her. May this enormous and powerful love envelop her with sweet dreams and peace.
We are all also praying a lot for YOU, Angelique.... life must be whirling by in a blur right now.
Remember to try and take care of yourself - your family needs you.
♥ Love from rainy San Francisco ♥,
Robin
Dear Renee... I am so sorry to hear what you're going through, I wish I could take a way your pain. You have been the sweetest friend and kindest soul, I know God has a special place for you because of all the Love you have handed out! My heart is heavy and I pray that you have peace in your heart and relief from all the pain. I pray that God sends his Angels to give you comfort and your family too!
Thank you Angelique for keeping us updated. I know it is so hard for you, be strong and believe that If and/or when Renee leaves this world she will find Love and comfort and peace and happiness, She will dance with the Angels and never shed a tear and someday you will see her again!There are no birds circling her head, just Angels!My prayers are with you and your family and Dear Renee..All my Love...Patti
Dearest Angelique,
There are a lot of things I don't know right now. I don't understand them and I don't know if I want to understand them either. I just want your mother to be happy and I want you to stop hurting.
I thought of Josephine today and how Renee told me she is my twin. Haha! That brings tears to my eyes now but I cannot imagine my life without Renee in it. No matter what happens she will stay with me in my heart. She already inhabited it a long time ago.
Please give her a kiss for me Angeliques. Whisper to her ear and tell her I love her please.
Thanks, Angelique for keeping us up-to-date on your mom's condition. I've only known her for a short time, meaning only when she's been ill. C'est terrible!
But 209 posts (and counting) says so much about people's love for your mom.
More than anything, I do hope the care team is clever enough to keep your mom's pain under control. Bone cancer is particularly painful, because of the nature of the disease.
Blessings to all in this difficult time. Bear hugs from next door (Saskatchewan).
Thinking of you all the time! Sending all my love, strength and hope! Love, Silke
I know you profoundly Renee, because I know your soul. It lives in me and I am here for you. Peace.
This is my first time visiting this blog.
My heart is breaking for your family and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
~Rachel
Dear Renee, With so many comments you may not read this...but I just want to say, hold on, trust, keep breathing, and when you can't do it another day, tell yourself, "well, I can do it for another..hour, min, or maybe only a sec." You are in my prayers, you and your mother.
I am heartbroken for you and your family, Angelique. Please know I am thinking about you and praying for your mom.
Big virtual hug!
Awww {{{HUGS}}}} I am SO SO sorry to hear this!!
You are a lovely daughter that is a great testament to the mother that raised her.
I know my comment can't do anything at all, but know that I too a with you and your beautiful family during this time, and sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
Dearest Angelique - your mother offered her irreverent humor and love to me, as I know she inspired so many here on blogger. She's truly an amazing woman. I'm so sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing, and the tough times your Mom is going through now. Love, prayers and huge hugs to Renee and to you and your family. Stay strong. xoxoxo
Renee darling,
I heard it may snow down here this evening. Are you really going to let that happen and make me freeze my ass? I know how much you think I whine so much about the cold.
I love you!
What can I add to what so many have already said. Again thank you Angelique for keeping us updated - though it's such sad news. Thank you for sharing the photos of your beautiful Mother. Wishing all of you strength. Sending love and prayers your way-
missing u renee :(............
There are no words.... just love and prayers for an easy passing.
xo
Bless Renee.
Bless Josephine.
Both beauty Queens of the heart.
pop in every day to see if there is any news, any hope....? and to leave yet another warm soft kiss on renee's brow and on yours angelique and on little joesphine's too.rest now renee, we all miss you.
Stopping by with hugs for all!
Love and more love,
Prayers and more prayers!
May you be at peace!
Constance
Oh God, now I am balling my eyes out. I'm so so so sad to hear this. And really I don't know what else to say other than to agree, that your mum is a very very special woman... To lots of people... all over the world.
Much love. .xx.
Angelique, I am tearful as I write this... your mum is an amazing woman. Although I only had brief correspondence with her I was so moved by her desire to gather artwork as a lasting gift to little Josephine. Although she is still very small, I am sure that Josephine will have strong memories of your mum and her love. Please pass on my love and prayers to Renee, and I also send them to you too... if there is anything I can do for you or your lovely family in the future please be sure to let me know.x
Dear Renee
thank you for being a dear Renee
with love Delwyn
God Bless. Take care of your mum...take care of each other.
Hi Angelique!!! Cole and I made something for your Mom today...I hope you can print it and show it to her...it may bring her a smile...Cole said he wanted to make her a special snow angel today...and this is what we made....
For your Mom with Love
Send her our hugs too....
Diana & Cole
Dear Angelique,
Thank you for letting us know the latest news about Renee. I have not been here for a while and was deeply shocked and saddened by you mother's situation.
Please give Rennee my love and thanks for her kindness to me when I told her about my wife's battle with breast cancer. Your mother is a wonderful lady. My thoughts and prayers ~ Eddie
My heart breaks reading this. I would stop by here due to links i would come across, probably coming by a few times a month. I'm so sorry for you and the family and for her grandkids who deserve to know her a long time.
All my best to all of you and Renee.
Prayers and love for your family. x
Angelique,
Thank you so much for keeping us updated. I read your post and I couldn'r help the sorrow and dispair that can over me. I wish there were words that I could say that would make all of Renee's pain go away and have her back with us once more like she used to be.
I still remember her comment of how much she loved the name Angel for a boy which is my son's name. She adored that name so much...hence your name Angelique.
My prayers are with you and your family at this time. Please give your mom a kiss and hug...we're going to miss her dearly, but we'll remember her always in our hearts.
Hugs,
Vania
oh renee,
my beloved moon sister,
each day is harder. where are you? where are your 'xoxoxo's--i've become accustomed to them each day. i want that phone call. i want to know you are okay, renee. i just want to know you are okay.
i am worried about your children, wahid, jacquie, your beloved grandbabies. how could anyone not worry for them? your love is so large.
look at all these comments, renee. how could you have managed to touch all these people individually? only you could do that, your gift, how freely you've shared it.
god bless you renee. are you resting comfortably? no more bats?
you would not believe how many of your friends have found one another, are comforting one another.
but my beloved moon sister, i cannot let you go. not tonight. you are right here beside me, telling me you-know-what.
i will always be grateful, and i will always love you.
kj
jacquie, when you can, would you email me at
karenjasper@comcast.net?
what hell this must be for you. i wish i could hold some of the grief for you.
love
kj
Angelique amor, How heartbreaking that so many of us share this illness in one way or another, we lost my father in March to lung cancer, so for us this has been a year of so many firsts without him, but amor, today...I bring to you... my heart filled with love and understanding and hope, that through all this, you and your loved ones will all be strong, during this last stage of your mamas journey...may she have peace and feel no more pain, and may your heart be lifted knowing she will no longer be suffering and that she takes you and all who love her with her in her beautiful heart...and may your heart and your loved ones be at peace, feeling her love still within you and around you...ALWAYS
You and your wonderful family are in my prayers. Besos, Rose
Thinking of you and your family. Your Mum was a really special, beautiful woman. x
I do love you so, dear Renee. xoxoxoxo Pam
you are right Angelique, Renee is such a beautiful person, she has touched so many lives through her beautiful writing... I miss her and my heart is really breaking to know about the pain ... I pray to God to just take all those pains away!
Lots and lots of love to your family,
Sassyscribbles
Manila, Philippines
Angelique, I'm filled with pain and overcome with sadness. As a fellow blogger, I aver to your mother's courage, humour and wit. You're so lucky to have a mum like her. Thanks for the update. I can say no more now. There's a lump in my throat.
Thanks, many, many thanks.
Greetings from London.
Just a small,warm greeting and another message with love,light and peace for all of you!
Renee,love you!
Aleksandra
It's raining and cold. My thoughts and prayer's are with you and your family Renee.
Angelique thank you so much for taking the time to let us know how things are.
Your mother is a remarkable woman , and so are you for carrying on to keep this blog updated. My prayers are with you at this testing time , I pray for a miracle please send your mom my love, take care , Jaqi xx
Angelique,
Your Mom is loved by so many! My Dad just lost his wife so I know what your family is going through. It is a roller coaster ride. Sending her, you and all those who love her lots of love and hugs and prayers! She will be with all of us in our thoughts and heart!
Angelique, I just found your Mom's blog and I'm so sorry :( My heart and positive thoughts are with your Mom, you and family.
Beautiful wonderful loving Renee.
Thinking of you.
Angelique... love to you during this time. May you find comfort in knowing how loved you were, how loved she is
Dearest Renee,
I received an email from Ces yesterday while I was at the grocery store. It read, quite simply, "Renee is awake!" You should have seen how hard and fast my heart was pumping. I could hardly breathe, I was so excited. It was all I could do to keep from abandoning my cart or shoving people aside at the checkout line so that I could rush home and check my computer.
I love you, and I know that you know that. I am so thankful that you have such a loving and wonderful family in Winnipeg to hold your hand and rub your back. You have a family out here, too, and it reaches far around the world, across seas and mountains to faraway continents.
The next time we come back to this earth, I will have to talk to the person in charge and see if they will put me closer to you. No more of this "separate countries" thing. No way.
All my love,
bella
Renee if you can read this, I want you to know that you and your loving family are in my prayers every evening before bed.
Angelique, I'm just stopping by for a few moments to send more love to Renee from Texas. Peace & strength be with you.
Thinking of you, Renee. So much.
I re-read the little book "Little Miss Sunshine" that you sent me and it is so enlightening. The king never smiled until she came along. It was a great story Renee. I truly appreciated the book. I received it after I sent you the painting "Dancing with the Mermaids." You know, it was not that long ago that you told me you were sitting there looking at it. I'm looking at your book now and thinking of you. Prayers and love as always to you, Angelique and your family. Always thinking of you amiga.
Hi Angelique,
It's Constance.
With prayers for your Mom and for you and your family.
Last night I read a prayer that your mom made for me, that I printed out.
I love your Mom for her amazing way of loving others, for her whit, her honesty, her bravery. Just everything about her.
Love you and Her ALWAYS!
Constance
Please kiss her cheek for me.
I wish her peace.
Thinking of all of you,
Love Yvette
I MISS YOU! Damn! I am so busy at work but every time I turn a page of rules I think of you. I have Bella's "Entangled" drawing of us on the wall and I see you in your butter yellow dress looking down so peacefully at everybody. I imagine you saying "I love you Bella, more than Ces does" just to make me jealous as if I am going to be jealous. Hahaha! Then to me you say "Honest to God Ces, hardy har har."
I think of Angelique, Nadalyn and Nathan. Oh the pain they feel.
I just read Bella's comment about being near to you in the next life, the same country. Well, on my next life, I want to be your lap dog! Hardy arf! arf!
Renee, I love you!
I'm speechless and don't have any words of wisdom here.
My thoughts continue to be with your entire family.
Renee will always be an inspiration to many, many people including me.
-Dean
Dear Renee i keep checking and checking your blog for you, if i checked once i have checked a hundred times, i am hoping and i am praying. You are so loved and missed Renee.
Thank you Angelique for writing and letting us know about your Mom. My heart aches so much for all of you,
Prayers and my love to you,
Love Sally
xoxoxoxo
I am just stopping by to send a bit of love and hugs. Your mom must be feeling all this love that is pouring out for her. I wish I was there to help in some way.
Love to you and the family and to your amazing mom.xoxo
Love and huge hugs my pretty!
xoxoxoxox
Marie
Angelique,
How are you sweet? Please go to Bella's blog and check out the drawing she did of your Mom, Josephine and Dominic. It is the best and sweetest illustration. Please show it you your Mother, she will be so happy. I just know she will be.
Goodnight.
TSUP!
Renee, I popped in to let you know that I am thinking of you. My hubby and I went to breakfast this morning, (his day off) and I talked about you and how you have shared your soul with so many many persons. He was saddened by the news of what is happening right now. It was good to say your name out loud. I spoke about you at Curves this morning as well. My friends there will say a prayer for you and your family. I miss you and your laugh and just your ways. I really appreciate having been a part of your life and you mine. It's late, well for me it is:10pm. You know me, early to bed and early to rise am I. May the Good Lord watch over you. Words just aren't enough.
Josephine what a lovely name. Lovely pictures, great moments....thanks for sharing and please extend my best regards to Renee.
prayers and love
Thank you for updating us on your mother. I have been praying for her and your family for months now. I will continue to pray for all of you. My heart goes out to you.
Blessings,
Kim
Hi hon...I hope that maybe you are able to read all the comments..or maybe at least hear them read to you. I love you so very much Renee..I wanted to tell you this..again. I am sending love to you on big strong swan wings.
Love to your family also!
Love you, Sarah
Precious Renee, we love you!
Angelique,
Sending you and your family so much love during this time.
-stacey
Angelique....my mother died peacefully this morning at my home. She had lung cancer.
We are all one.
Thinking of you all this morning, as usual. Sending love and prayers. Please give beautiful Renee my love...
It stopped raining but weather says we are headed for another storm. I don't mind, I'll just stay indoors and paint. Thinking of you as always and praying for you, Angelique and your family.
Love, gloria
I'm with Ces...I am so selfish. I come here every day hoping there's been some kind of mistake...or better yet, some kind of miracle and there it'll be. A post from Renee. I long for her just one last time.
Angelique, I lost my mom almost 3 years ago now. It was very sudden. And even though I was with her when it happened I didn't realize it would be the end and I did not get to say goodbye. I have often wondered, if given the choice, would it have been better to have those goodbyes. I know that when there's time for goodbye there's also often time for pain. It's not something I would wish on anyone. But saying goodbye is a gift and while I wish Renee as little pain as possible, I am glad you are getting your goodbyes.
Jamie
I wanted to share your mom and what's she's meant to me. It's here:
http://peachstreet.blogspot.com/2010/02/copyright-2007-susan-eleanor-boulet.html
Angelique just needed to stop by and tell you that I am thinking about Renee and you and your whole family. My prayes are with you, that pain will be far away dear heart.
Renee, you are so loved. You will always be a study of grace and joy. Like Jaliya said, you are tucked into a zillion hearts.
Thinking of you every day Renee. I hope you're bearing up Angelique. Hugs to you and family.
Dear Angelique,
This is Laurel, your mom's Raven Sister. She gave us those names.
I have a huge gaping hole in my life right now but I'm comforted to know that she has her loving family all around her.
I'm keeping yellow flowers in my studio for her with ravens nearby.
You can't imagine how many times a day I think of her.
The world loves her! Just look at the connections she's made with people she never met. She's a true angel, no doubt about it.
Hugs and love and many blessings to you, Jacquie, your siblings and your babies. Your whole family, and Renee, your sweet mom of course.
Be as strong as you can and make sure someone is there to also rub your back and hold your hand.
Please give my love to your mum and tell her I wish her a gentle breeze to lift her wings.
xoxoxo
Lolo
Angelique I know that my MIL is sending her strength and love and energy. We are all so blessed to have "been" with your Mom through this journey. We all feel that we know her, even if it was just a for a day.
We are sending her all the love we have to give.....and more.
Many hugs and blessings, Nancy
Continually thinking of you and your family and missing Renee terribly. Strength to you all
I didn't quite know your mother until recently, and even then, this is the first time I've been to her blog.
What a wonderful lifeforce! I feel like I've missed quite a person! How very beautiful your family is!
I know you are going through a heart crushing time--I wonder if your mother could see all of the wonderous people she has brought together, in these comments, affirming the love of friends and strangers alike, in her name.
Please send my love and consider me a new friend. Big hugs to you all.
Renee, it seems like the whole of blogland has come to pay tribute to you....can anyone be more loved?
You connected with us all and made each of us feel special....thats such an amazing gift.
I sent you a fabric heart a while back and you insisted on sending me something in return....I shall play that CD again today Renee ....and I will be thinking of you.
♥
I love you Renee. I pray for you and your family, you are all in my heart, being held by my soul.
Love and huge hugs.
Lovee, I come to you in the middle of the night, when all is dark and still, and I sit by your bedside and I stroke your brow and I kiss your right hand, all in a dream, but still, I come to you in the middle of the night.
Do you remember how I told you when first we met, that I fell for you faster than anyone ever before? My soul knew I had to, for your time would be limited, but oh Renee, your lessons will live on forever. Sending you all of my love upon the wings of a desert sparrow. Send me a splinter of your pain and I shall carry it for you. Love forever, Deb
Hi, I heard of your mom through Gloria at Viva La Vida blog and came right over. I am so sorry for what you're all going through and for the suffering your mom is enduring. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my dad to cancer and know what it's like to watch this process take over. I remember doing everything in my power to bring him healing, praying, having healings sent to him...but he actuallys seemed to be resisting it all. It made me understand that healing doesn't always mean getting better in the body. Now my grandmother's in the hospital from an infection and she was practically in a coma for a whole week. We've got a big family so I also know what a blessing that is at times like these. There's always been someone with her at the hospital the whole time and there's lots of prayers being prayed for her. She's going to be 90 this year and I really hope she gets to celebrate it. I'm adding your mom to my prayers now. God bless.
Dearest Renee,
Just heard from our "KJ" - she is the conduit from you and Angelique to most of us around the world.
It makes me smile (even on a stormy San Francisco day) to know that you awake - even for a few minutes a day - and see your loved ones around you.....and also know that your "other family" is praying for you, hugging you and sending love, love, love.
You ARE our Senior Angel whether her on Earth or one day in God's Heaven. How I wish we could all give you a hug in person...
Angelique - we are hugging you, Wahid and all the family too....
♥ Robin ♥
it's friday and the week is at an end. thinking of you renee and all around you who sit and wait, to hear your voice once more, to see you smile, to have an inkling of hope.
Today I hope things are a bit brighter ~
Renee are you reading this?
You are such a good woman, so hip and caring and funny and giving.
I love you,
You know that.
Love,
Constance
Hi Renee, it 4:18 in the afternoon and I have to make dinner. You have been on my mind all day long, no matter what I am doing, you are circling my head. How I miss you amiga. I want to hear you say....hardee har har, sometimes you capitalized it, HARDEE HAR HAR and it meant you were laughing loud. I so remember. I wasn't here this morning because I've been trying to paint and I had some duties. I just want to say, what a good friend you are. Love, gloria.
Angelique, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your father and all your family and of course the ever loving Renee. God bless her and please take her pain away. ::hugs::
Renee - Sweet friend, I pray you are not feeling any pain. I send you all my love, and hummingbirds, too. Blessed are you, and your family. I love you - Pam
Oh, I am so very sorry to hear all this! I check in every so often, not often enough, it appears. Your mother and I exchanged several notes last year; she won a little giveaway of mine. I just don't know what to say--she has been such a fighter, and I just expected to find her here, posting as usual. I am at a loss for words. Please know that I will keep her and your family in my prayers, and that God will give you all strength to get through this. Praying for a miracle, and sending love, Jann
Renee,
sending all my love...missing you my friend, and hoping you are gaining strength.
Blessings to you sweet Renee, and all your beautiful family.
xxxxooooxxxoox
Ah Renee, how loved you are! What an incredible lifeforce and inspiration you have been and still are.
I find myself thinking of you constantly. I'll be in the grocery store and your beautiful face comes to mind. I don't think I will ever be able to look at another pic of a bat the same way (and I really liked bats!).
If life was fair, the love and prayers that radiate from the postings here would have you back - posting your BLDs, your goddess and angel posts, your Fantasy Fridays - and commenting on our blogs with your
humour and xxxxoooos. But, as we know only too well, life isn't fair.
I am so thankful Renee that I had the opportunity to 'meet' you and
have my life enriched by you.
I am thankful that you have your wonderful husband, children, grandchildren and siblings with you now. I pray that you are comfortable and your journey is
gentle.
And damnit, I miss you.
Love
Sue
Angelique, I loved your Mom, too!
I loved her for her sense of humor, her authentic voice and her unwavering support. I did not know her as long as some of the other bloggers.
But Renee reached out to me, when my sister "Renee" was dealing with Breast cancer, Your Renee encourage me through the double mastectomy, the chemo, the radiation, and then another go round of chemo and radiation! Your Renee did all of this while she herself was dealing with what I can only describe as "evil in the flesh." She brought me the salve, the wine and the roses through her thoughtful emails/blog posts.
I hope that she received that from me also. I can't stop the tears from flowing now, but my sister Renee send her gratitude and I send my love to Renee,you and your family.
May the light of sweetness and love fill your hearts.
my thoughts and prayers are with Renee and her family.
I just came across your Mom's blog and read the update. This is so so sad for you. My prayers are that she does not have too much pain and that you all will cherrish all the wonderful memories of her life. Bless your family and your Mom especially.
Renee, it's Saturday and it is going to rain again. Just checking in to let you know I'm staying home, I don't need to go out for anything. My thoughts any prayer's are with you dear friend, Angelique and all your family.
Just coming by and blowing Renee a kiss. If you have time, if you would please tell her Annie Coe loves her and is so sorry she did not get to say goddbye, if indeed this is goodbye.
Sending you all love.
xoxo
Hi Renee..I am still here..I am still sending you loving energy..still hoping you are being without pain. Sending gentle swan hugs to you hon..Love you so very much!
Angelique..take care of you and yours hon...I know how hard this all is.
Love, Sarah
Death makes angels of us all, gives us wings so we might fly, smooth as ravens claws.
xx
Sending love thoughts.
Praying for a "Good News" update.
Dear Angelique, i thank you for finding the time & the strength to come here and post. I cannot say anything that hasn't already been said. Sending prayers, renee you and your precious family are in my heart, we will be thinking of you x x x x ruthie
Renee, I'm thinking of you. I keep reading previous posts of yours and then I go back to see the pictures that Angelique graciously posted for all of us. It's quiet right now. Love Gloria
Hi Angel and Renee and Jojo.
I'm thinking of YOU !!
Together Strong ~
Love,
Constance
Stopping by to send love and warm thoughts to Renee. I'm thinking of you!! BIG HUGS!!! xo
Sending love and prayers and light to all of you.
Every day I think of you and everyday I miss you. I love you Renee.
You are a light in my world.
Hugs and lots of love, my pretty!
Marie
Thinking of you all
Love you Renee..
xoxoxo
Angelique and Nadalene, please give big hugs and schmoochie kisses to your mom for me. My thoughts and prayers are with her and your entire family. The next time she is awake, look at her with your head to the side, raise your eye brow and purse your lips - and tell her that's from Madtexter (Corey James). She'll understand.
Big hug to you.
Dear Angelique - I have been thinking of you for days. You must be exhausted, and the mom in me wants to tell you to please take care of yourself. I send my love to your family, to your brother and sister, and your Dad. Such terribly hard times for you all. I love your Mom so much. Just know that you are all in my prayers. xoxo Pam
It is Sunday morning; I am stopping in to give my love and prayers to Renee and you her family. You are all in my thoughts all day long, every day. We love you Renee.
xoxo
"Lead me from death to life,
from falsehood to truth.
Lead me from despair to hope,
from fear to trust.
Lead me from hate to love,
from war to peace.
Let peace fill my heart,
my world, my universe."
Knocking on Heaven's Door
Here we are on this earth each day,
knocking on Heaven's door
We live our lives from day to day
as no one has before
Our souls are filled as we live,
and breathe through every day
Like leaves on the Tree of Life,
we're blown around each way
The challenge is to do our best
with all that we are given
For that's the quest for all of us
before we go to Heaven
Sew kindness along the path you walk,
as everyone needs love
Then look around and you will see
the Sun shining from above
Water often with compassion
and soon your seeds will sprout
Fertilize with Faith and Hope,
and watch them grow about
With every sunrise the sun also sets,
a revolving fact of life
Out of darkness there comes Light,
Hope for all life's strife
So as we knock on Heaven's door,
let's focus on life's best
Make Peace, Hope, Love and Light,
your every day request
For when we live each day so full,
that we are all we can be
It's then that we can figure out,
the Circle of Life you see
Shine your Light for all to see,
live as no one has before.
Then with certainty and clarity of Life;
go knock on Heaven's door
written with Hope, Love and Light
by Nina P
Renee........ so very, very sorry you are going through this.
You overlooked your own problems and tried to help me through chemo. You have been so brave and optimistic all along.
Very sad for you all.
Love and prayers to all the family.
Nuts in May
Thinking of you all daily, with so much love.
I am missing the sharing of stories, laughs and even a few tears with you Renee.
Wishing you each deep peace and light, holding you close in my prayers... ❤ Karin
I don't know how it is possible for one woman to reach out to so many and love them as though they are the only loves of her life...I am so grateful to be among them- all joining hands in an ever growing circle - Renee in the middle eminating rays of light holding us all together- Damn girl- you're GOOD!
Always and forever
LOVE
Linda Sue
(thank you so much - I am still finding little confetti hearts in the carpet)
Back again and loving, loving, loving you, dear family ... Constantly looking to the west and sending you warm, gentle hands on all the places that ache ...
Renee, in my imaginings, you are snuggled into endless love ...
Always in my heart ... You've given so much light ... You're a magnificent soul ... xoxoxoxoxox
Thank you Angelique. Renee, I love you. <3 Always will, my sweet sister of the heart.
Caroline
I LOVE you Renee. You make this world a better place. You are my teacher, my friend, my beloved Renee. You are always with me. I think of you before I close my eyes for the night and when I open them. I love you.
Your spirit is here in this room Renee. How strange that even though you haven't posted for a few weeks now, you remain here. I miss you my friend. Blogland seems to have quieted down some. As I go from blog to blog, I always find my way back here...to your blog.
I take comfort in knowing that you were here too. Tomorrow is Monday and back I go to Curves to exercise and my heart is filled with ache. God Bless You Renee. You're the best friend I ever had.
Must say "I love you" here, as it's so very quiet.
I love you, I miss you, God bless you, God love you, Renee. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
~Love You Renee~
<3 <3 <3
Renee...
I'm sure you can feel all the love...just stopping by to add a little more...
love, love,
Josephine Loves Her Grandma, Grandma Loves Her Josephine, We Loves Josephine and Her Grandma
Dearest Renee - I can't seem to stop coming by here to tell you I love you so! :) Such are the bonds of friendship - and I know that I will get to meet you one day. But only if you put in a very good word for me, Renee. :) I am sending you so many hummingbirds! xoxoxoxoxo Pam
Dearest sweetest precious , Renee.
I hope you are in peace, pain free and flying.
Thinking and praying for you, of you, with you.
deb
I feel to come here everyday and just send love and kisses to you Angelique and your mom and the whole family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. xoxo
Dear Renee,Angelique, Wahid and family,
A gray, cold Monday in San Francisco. But, my "Renee" candle burns bright in its red glass holder...red to reflect your passion for life, for love - for everything.
You are silent these days - but I know YOU KNOW how much you are loved in the "Blogging World"...
when one spaks from the heart and soul, as you do - well, the world listens...
You are not really silent - your voice resonates through your family and through all of us.
You are a marvel - a treasure.
Angelique - this applies to you too...stay strong, stay positive.
Your dear Mother is a life-changer for so many.
Prayers, and hugs to all - and a gentle kiss to Renee's brow...
♥ Love ♥
Robin (from San Francisco)
Renee, I know we don't know each other, but I am missing you.
Stopping by to say I'm thinking of you all!
Big Love,
Constance
Hi Angelique,
Thanks again for your sweet response! I shipped out Josephine's gift today! Sending my love to Renee and your dear family.
Big Hugs,
Lisa
praying praying praying
with
so much love
♥
I don't know Renee..but learned of her plight from another blogger. I just want to add my good wishes for her recovery. I have made excellent friends in Blogland and believe that we all are connected in a very good and special way. Sincerely...Peace and Happiness
holding a prayer for you in my heart tonight Renee.
om shanti shanti,
peace, peace
may you be blessed with peace.
I did not know your dear Mom as I came over from another blog, but I want you to know how deeply sorry I am and I am sending many prayers and much love your way. My heart is breaking for all of you.
Love, Carol Anne
Renee I hope you can feel all our love and light. Every hour of every day I beam my light to whereever you are.
I will never forget you Renee. You set such a high standard, if I am half the person you are I will be happy.
Namaste
Peggy xxxxoooooxxxxxoooooxxxooooo
Angelique, I am so very, very sorry. Your mother is a magnificent and truly remarkable woman...and it absolutely breaks my heart to think of the suffering she must endure ...My mother died of ovarian cancer (in my home) just 1 1/2 years ago, and so I picture the events which led to that day as I think of you and your mom. I am sure that just as I did you are treasuring each and every moment with your mom. And that you will never truly get over this...you are BOTH daily in my thoughts and prayers! Love, Janine XO
My Mum had a heart attack and was gone. I was so angry that I didnt get to say goodbye. I kept thinking...if only I could have 5 minutes with her..... but 5 would never be enough. It took a while for me to accept that she had gone, but once I accepted it, I started feeling her presence. It is almost 15 years now, and I still miss her, but I know she is never far away.
Checking in with you girls.
Sending all my love &
Prayers for peace.
Love,
Constance
Dearest Renee, Angelique and family,
Sending you love!
I check daily for any news, I know you don't have time and we are the least important. I want to be least important. Renee and you are needing the attention!
I think of the time when I can see you mum, I have promised a blown kiss and a wave from the background of you all! I still hold this in my heart and won't forget!
Please don't feel obliged to answer. Just to let you know You are all so special and dear.
As much love as possible protecting you all!
BIG LOVE!
Julie
I love you.
xoxoxoxoxo
Wow. Just wow....
Angelique, I hope yu are finding the time to rest and take care of yourself. These are trying times.
Renee, this is for you. I love you. You are in my dreams. You wake me up with your words. I don't know how thy get to me but they do.
You are a part of me now. In the morning my mind wanders searching for you and at night I fall into darkness hoping to find the light that is you. Then I get awakened by my dreams and you are in it. I touch my chest to calm my heart and I realize you dwell in it.
My dearest Renee, I love you. God bless you and your beloved family.
TSUP!!!
Renee, it's Wednesday and it's till raining. It has been raining on and off for the past couple of days. I've been trying to paint and feel saddened all the time. I'm okay, I just want you not to have pain anymore. We miss you here. I printed out your picture because I had to look closely at it and your eyes of blue are powerful. You are as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. Thinking and praying for you.
gloria ::hugs::
Your mother is very very dear to me- even though I have not met her in the flesh. She was a frequent reader of my blog and always left the most hilarious, insightful and supportive comments that always ended with love. She sent me a gift once- a book called "Mayfly Day." I cherish this book and I am so sad to hear that she is not doing well. Please, please tell her for me that Randall from Absurdistry loves her and will continue to write with her spirit in me. Please tell her that I will also dedicate my next published book to her (she might giggle at this). Please let her know that she is in my heart and the book that she sent me sits on my desk. My blog is no longer the same without her presence. Take care of yourself Angelique and thank you for this update.
i think about you every day, renee! just stopping by to send big love hugs to you all. xo aimee
Dear Angelique,
Your mom has always signed her name
Love,
Renee
Please tell her what a "class act" she is, my angel. I love her! And you too, because you are her daughter!
Sending lots of Prayers today especially.
your,
Constance
thinking of you renee and sending big bunches of butter yellow freesias, they've just popped up in my garden!
warm ocean breezes too.
love you,
lori
I wrote this to honor you Renee and your family. You have touched so many lives with your shining Light. May each day be free from pain and filled with Peace, Hope and Love. May you and your family be eternally Blessed. Love and Light, Nina P.
Knocking on Heaven's Door
Here we are on this earth each day,
knocking on Heaven's door
We live our lives from day to day
as no one has before
Our souls are filled as we live,
and breathe through every day
Like leaves on the Tree of Life,
we're blown around each way
The challenge is to do our best
with all that we are given
For that's the quest for all of us
before we go to Heaven
Sew kindness along the path you walk,
as everyone needs love
Then look around and you will see
the Sun shining from above
Water often with compassion
and soon your seeds will sprout
Fertilize with Faith and Hope,
and watch them grow about
With every sunrise the sun also sets,
a revolving fact of life
Out of darkness there comes Light,
Hope for all life's strife
So as we knock on Heaven's door,
let's focus on life's best
Make Peace, Hope, Love and Light,
your every day request
For when we live each day so full,
that we are all we can be
It's then that we can figure out,
the Circle of Life you see
Shine your Light for all to see,
live as no one has before.
Then with certainty and clarity of Life;
go knock on Heaven's door
written with Hope, Love and Light
by Nina Pauline
Darlin Girl, I miss you so much.
Dearest Renee miss You here sooo very much, can not say more than I love You.
Dear Angelique, thank you a lot for writing, and for the photos aswell.
Take care, Love, Kristina
My heart aches for you all, and my thoughts are with you. Hugs to Renee and sending you and your family prayers.
I will be going away for a week and will be thinking of Renee, and all of her beautiful family every day.
You are never far from my thoughts Renee. I pray that the pain goes away, and that your family has all the time they need with you (hopefully another 50 years)
blessings to you
xoxo
betty
I miss you my dear, and think of you all of the time.
Something I want to ask or tell you.
Xoxoxox on the bottom of a comment or email, the f word freely flying, and your matter a fact love of life and the people in in it. Blog land is a sad place with out you.
I am a sad person with out you.
Just want to tell you again, because I needed to talk to you!
Love you my pretty, hugs for all your family and mostly for you!
♥Marie
Dear Renee - I did not know. Have not been here for a while. God Bless you. You have always been so supportive to me in my situation. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sending you love and prayers. You are a beautiful Soul.
Angelique and Renee, my heart is with you, I ache for Renee, I ache for you and her loved ones, for all of us.
All my love.
xoxox
wow 369 comments...that says it all...you're mom is most adored by all. .......
HOw lucky you are to have had such closeness to your mom, to have so many family members surrounding you, to have also had a fabulous grandmother yourself.
I did not have any of that, and was not sure it really existed but in reading your post it's so evident that it's not something impossible that i dreamt up when I was wishing for relationships, closeness and support I would never end up experiencing. What a gift you are to her and that you all are to each other... and to me by way of example.
My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry that this has been the path. At the same time I celebrate the riches and beauty of the love you and your kids have. That never leaves you.
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