My Mind's Eye Said

Look into my eyes and hear what they said. . . . . .

Flashbacks From the Month of April

April 19, 2001

*Today is an awesome day; Nathan just left the house with his girlfriend Raquel to attend their Grade 12 graduation.

*Things I have done so far this year that make me proud of myself and happy to be alive.

• Wahid and I got Nathan to this point in his life.  I am very proud of myself for raising such a wonderful son.
  

• I am proud of my involvement in raising money for lupus research.
  

• I am happy to be alive so that I can help my children with anything they need from me.  I take pleasure in my children.

• Actually, Angelique, Nadalene, and Nathan fulfill both of the categories of being proud of myself and happy to be alive.  Because I’m proud of myself for doing a good job in raising my children and I’m happy to be alive so that I can spend a lot of time with them.
  

• I am happy to be alive because Nadalene and I went to Barney Gargles for fish and chips.  Coming home from Selkirk we drove in a blizzard and it felt like we were in outer space.  I was also happy to be alive to see the biggest snowflakes I have ever seen in my life.
  

April 7, 2005

*My body and I are on good terms, I just don’t do what I know my body needs.  Exercise and diet.  I have the want just not the will.

April 24, 2005

*Colette is 48 years old today, and honestly, she never changes.

April 10, 2006

*New years don’t necessarily bring great things.  I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer on February 8, 2006.  At this point I still don’t know what that really means for me.  My life has changed forever.  I am currently in treatment and have a positive outlook.  Today I am in St. Boniface having a blood transfusion.  Thank you to all the people who are evolved who donate blood.

April 17, 2006

*Now that I have cancer I accept all aspects of my personality, background, and physical appearance.  There is nothing I do not accept about myself.  I love all of myself.

April 18, 2006

*Friends and family would say the driving force of my life is my family; and they would be right.  I want the driving force of my life to be family, spirituality, and peaceful co-existence.

*I want to know that my family is okay and will be a complete unit when I am no longer here with them.  I want them all to be at peace with each other.  To be on a spiritual path with each other.  No hatred.  Only love.  To know they are all loved by me.  Always.

April 19, 2006

*I should stop seeing what I want to see and see what I really see.  Time to get real with your life and the people in it.  Don’t go with the flow.  Mean what you say.  Be honourable.

Flash Forward

Mean what you say.  Be honourable.  It just came to me that the previous two sentences describe the birthday girl.  Happy Birthday Colette.