Hey Daddio

Shelly went to take Dad to his doctor yesterday morning and the doctor told her that he needed to go to St. Boniface right away as he was severely dehydrated. I’m not quite sure, but I also think he said he was malnourished.

They took some tests including a chest x-ray and discovered that his lungs are full of cancer. They asked why he wasn’t treated for it when it originally showed up in his bladder and he told them because the doctors said the chemo would probably kill him and that was told to him at lest five years ago. I was with him at the doctors at the time, but honestly, I don’t remember how long ago that would be.

I believe they are going to set Dad up with Palliative Care today and also arrange for homecare and for a hospital bed to be set up. I think he will be coming home today as well.

Lately Dad and I have been having a lot of good old talks about dying and what we think happens. I know that he still didn’t quite believe it was going to happen to him, but after being with him last night, I think he now knows that it will happen.

Shelly stayed with Dad all day yesterday and then Jacquie and I went up. When Shelly left they moved Dad into the hall. I couldn’t believe the hallways were the worst I have seen them. People were lined up in gurneys and they were head to toe. Hard place to be when you don’t feel good. Later Suzie and her partner came and they moved Dad again, thank God, to a room. Daisy also came up to see her grandpa. She is a loving girl.

Angelique went to spend the evening with her grandma, and then Jacquie and I got there and we all stayed to 10 p.m. Joey came then and slept the night to keep Mom company.

“Hey Daddio,” I said while rubbing his arm. He made me laugh because he said ‘oh yeah right, you are not going to start with that are you?’ (As in me being nice, ha ha.)

I laughed again, as Jacquie, Daisy and I are talking to Dad and then all of a sudden he throws back the covers and says, where is the bathroom, how far away is it? Jacquie says Dad, it is right over there. As she is talking to him, he says I have to take a piss (I hate that word) and tries to get out of the bed. He is basically saying I need to take a piss, get the bed down, etc. etc. Jacquie runs down the hall to tell the nurse, Daisy looks for a pee bucket, I frantically try to get the bed rail down. Fucking laughing my head off and yell to Jacquie, get the nurse, I can’t get the bed down. Ha ha ha. She interrupts a nurse who is seriously helping a lady that can’t breathe to come and help and then I tell Jacquie that lady needs serious help, if Dad pees himself that is okay. As I say this we see Dad’s legs over the bar (ha ha) and Daisy has saved the day by giving him a pail to pee in. Honestly maybe you just needed to be there.

We tucked Dad in and gave him kisses goodbye and told him to have a good sleep.

Nadalene makes me laugh because no matter what we are doing, whether dishes, talking about someone’s school, wedding, whatever, I bring it back to me. And though yesterday was about Dad and feeling hurt for him, I have to be honest and say that while I was there I couldn’t help but feel I was looking at my own future, which may not be so far in the future. And while I felt sorry and helpless for Dad, I also kinda felt sorry and helpless for myself.

This is a wee story about me and Dad and I’d like you to look at the picture at the top of my post in case you need visualization.

Everyday Dad would come home from work; I would run out the door to greet him. Usually I had no clothes on because I couldn’t stand to be hot. (I still can’t.) He still to this day will remind me of it and say ‘Lover (my nickname) you were such a little nudist.’

I love you Dad. You are the best. You are even better than you think you are. For me, you are the most wonderful Dad. See you later today Daddio.