Thursday, 8 January 2009

Looking Forward To Age














I will walk down to a marina
on a hot day and not go out to sea.

I will go to bed and get up early
and carry too much cash in my wallet.

On Memorial Day I will visit the graves
of all those who died in my novels.

If I have become famous I’ll wear a green
janitor’s suit and row a wooden boat.

From a key ring on my belt will hang
thirty-three keys that open no doors.

Perhaps I’ll take all of my grandchildren
to Disneyland in a camper but probably not.

One day standing in a river with my fly rod
I’ll have the courage to admit my life.

In a room cabin at night I’ll consign
photos, all tentative memories to the fire.

And you my loves, few as there have been, let’s lie
and say it could never have been otherwise.

So that: we may glide off in peace, not howling
like orphans in this endless century of war.

~~ Jim Harrison ~~

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMGoodness: This rivets me to my very soul...

Isn't that the very life we have promised each other, I was to have you move in with me and we were/are going to do all of those things, brings me back to the days of Thelma and Louise (Kenora), this is way too profound, you are my sweetest memories, my sweetest life imaginable, WOW, I love you and you keep bringing me to tears, I mustn't let life pass us by. Love you too much...please come to my house, and lets just do it (lol)...

Love Colette

glorv1 said...

Those are beautiful words by the writer. He tells it like it is.
I hope you have a beautiful Thursday and take care.

Anonymous said...

Renee,
I love it. I might try some of the things. It made me laugh. Love, Barb

jacquie said...

i want to go back to living oblivious .... that we are strong and live a long healthy happy life and grow old together ... doing some of those things.

together strong
jacquie

Daria said...

Hi Renee,

In 2000, at the age of 39, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (Invasive Duct Adenocarcinoma). I had a mastectomy and was given chemotherapy (FEC ... I believe) and radiation (25 treatments) and was put on Tamoxifen (daily pill form). In 2004, I had a recurrence in the breast area on the mastectomy side. After surgery I was switched from Tamoxifen to Famara (daily pill form). In 2008, more cancer showed up on a mammogram and after doing numerous tests and scans, the news was not good. The cancer had metastasized to my lungs, liver and bones. I’m presently getting chemotherapy called Taxotere and possible study drug.

To be honest, I never really felt I was cured after my treatment in 2000/2001. Somewhere around 2003 I felt something in my chest (lungs) ... coughing.... and we took x-rays but nothing showed up. I continued to feel tired but you know I was a bit in denial ... thinking it’s only in my head ... maybe ... maybe not. Now, I feel I should have been more aggressive getting more tests done.

FEC ... I believe: I vomited after most of the 6 treatments. I did not take the anti-nausea pills because I thought they made me puke. It was a bit ugly. I lost all the hair on my body.

Radiation: Not bad ... yes I was red ... and burnt. I thought after chemo this was easier then chemo.

Tamoxifen: Hot flashes ... and can’t remember what else.

Femara: Headaches, some hot flashes ... and can’t remember what else.

Taxotere and possible study drug: The chemo is manageable I think... but the Decradon a.k.a. steroid really sucks. I have night mares, difficulty sleeping, sore muscles, increased appetite ... hate those extra pounds. With the treatment, there are a few days that really really suck but the rest is manageable.

Because it’s been 8 years since my journey started ... I really have to think back. Writing about this has inspired me to go back to my oncologist and revisit some of the details of my cancer.

My email is daria.livingwithcancer@gmail.com.

Daria

flossy-p said...

Dear Renee,

Thanks for stopping by. I've been wondering how your Christmas was, and how everyone liked your painting.
Would it be okay with you if I posted a picture of it on my blog now?

Happy New Year lovely!
.xxxx.

Julie-ann said...

Oh Renee, I love canadian artists. I have a magazine I have kept for years because of the beautiful art in it.
I do hope it arrives? I think we would both be very sad! Thank you so much Renee, you couldn't of sent me anything nicer. Oh Boo! Lets hope it is in customs or something?
Thank you so much Renee, the knowing of the right gift is so special!

JonJon said...

Renee,
pls come back to my site at http://jonjon-journeys.blogspot.com. I have something for you. :) Have a nice day!!

Brenda Leyland said...

Hi, I found your name on JonJon's site, so I had to pop over for a visit. You have a delightful blog, For sure, I want to come back and visit more.

BTW, congrats on your Butterfly Award.

MuseSwings said...

The poem is wonderful! I love the line about Memorial Day. Kind of gives a fleeting feeling of control about the whole dying thing.

Brenda Leyland said...

PS.... I didn't notice we were fellow Canucks.... yah! Let's keep in touch! (or should I have said, "eh!" - LOL)

grrl+dog said...

see... now I have to find out who Jim Harrison is... he is so simply ... simple.