Wednesday, 6 January 2010
50s Housewife Quiz No. 7
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
All together gang. ‘Are you for real?’
This is how it went down in the Khan household.
I make the evening his twice a year and that is on Father’s Day and his Birthday. So Wahid is very lucky out of 365 days in a year two of the evenings are his.
Wahid never ever comes home late or goes out to dinner without me. Other places of entertainment he really doesn’t want to go unless I’m with him. He has more fun with me. Although, Wahid does love his horse racing on a Sunday afternoon.
We have always had dinner at 5:00 p.m. Wahid gets home at 4:45 on the nose and if he is even twenty minutes late I know he has gone to the hardware store to buy some welding gloves. And sure enough he comes in at 5:30 all smiles and I play the game of ‘Where the heck were you? We were worried? Did you meet someone? You smell good, is that cologne?’ He laughs his head off.
There is always strain and pressure in a job environment but it is nothing to the strain and pressure of raising kids and that was basically left up to me. So I was the one at work and coming home to more strain and pressure. He was the one who came home and was able to comfortably relax.
Make the evening his (Failed, unless twice a year counts). Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you (Failed, I would have a shit fit if he was going out after work, while I was at home). Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax (Failed and passed, I understand the strain and pressure from work and the need to be home and relax, but really, I would love that too).
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98 comments:
no wonder the women of the 60's and 70's staged a revolution! The young women of today have no idea the pathways we opened up for them. Here's to our bra burning days!!!
Oh Renee, I don't believe you have failed at anything! I love your new header, it is gorgeous. Thanks for a wonderful post, it makes me smile {{{hugs}}}
Brilliant Renee!
I wonder what you've been up to... to propmt this post?
very clever
much love to you my dear friend
xxx Ribbon ;)
WONDERFUL post Renee!
I think this is where my marriage went down hill. I had a husband who didn't come home after work because I had a daycare and he didn't want to be around noisy kids, even though he had three he created.
He would then fall asleep in the chair around 7:30 while I was left to clean up after supper, give baths, help with homework and fall into bed exhausted. I grew to resent him big time.
I'm SO glad times have changed for women today! So very glad!
Love, Darla
Thank you so much for your lovely comment on my blog Renee. I love the "MY FAMILY BY JULIE-ANN BOWDEN" picture! It´s beautiful. xoxo Annika
It's so shocking to read these housewive "rules" from back then. Such a different world. One thankfully left behind!
So glad most women are free from those bonds. I was there and couldn't do it. Three marriages later, finally found one I could train. LOL Hope you have a good day today, Renee. Love you!
Where in the world did you get this book, Renee??? It's a real HOOT! Wahid is a very lucky man, and I am sure that he knows it.
**kisskiss** Deb
I would have been an alcoholic and having affairs...LOL! I would have hated my life....as a 50's housewife.
much love
You know, when my grandmother passed- I inher'td her books (yummy) and among them was the rules and regulations of etiq. for young ladies. I sat, sputtering things such as.. You've got to be!... Are you freakin...Give me a ... for hours. To say that those that have gone before revolutionized "our" time- understatment! I often wonder why there werent more justifiable homicides! LOL (you want me to ..what????)
Enjoying your wit, as always, Renee-
*hugs*
He was coming home for YOU, not because you might make the evening his....You are and always were enough. Excuse me, Wahid for daring to speak for you. But I just know it's the truth.
Big Hug dear Renee!
Tee-Hee, Renee, you made me giggle this morning. Oh, I would have done anything for the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom!
I stayed home with both of my daughters until they were about two, then had to go to work. Many years my husband worked 2 or 3 jobs because we got a late start at our careers & settling down. We were in our late 20's when he became a nurse and I became a legal secretary. We shook the sand out of our boots, found a repossessed, fixer-upper house we could afford and set about obtaining the American Dream. The years are a blur. I read my old journals and have no memory of what I wrote. Time is a healer, yes, but also a thief.
I heard on the news this week that people are poorer, but happier than ever. I think it's because they are staying home more with family... A great post, dearest friend!! I love you!!! Blessings!
Renee!!! you are amazing...and amazing woman, amazing wife, amazing mom and amazing friend to all of us!!!
I love reading your blog and I love the new banner!!
Hugs
Diana
It's amazing to read that little passage I can't image any of that flying today! It sounds like you and Wahid have the perfect partnership. Happy 2010!
love you-jj
roflol i would fail miserably on every count. as long as they know we love them i think that's all that counts. you are tooooo funny friend.
Great post, Renee. Ah, Mad Men... Yeah, that wouldn't fly in my house either...But that, thankfully, isn't anything my husband would want.
You know, looking at the next generation coming up and what they're putting up with from boys (men) in terms of (lack of) respect, I wonder if the pendullum isn't swinging a little bit backwards in terms of male brainwashing techniques.... We
who survived 70's hippy-dom, women's lib, must somehow remind girls not to accept the unacceptable!
I try, oh I do so try, to be understanding and all that other nonsense in regards to 'looking after your man', but often fail miserably when he goes into 'I think you should wait on me hand and foot' mode. And I quite envy the younger women who seem to be able to totally disregard this expectation of men that a woman is put on Earth to serve them!
Great blog, and encouraged me to do a winge!
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the laugh, Renee. I think you have been a wonderful wife and mother and you have failed at nothing.
Hope the bats are asleep. How is your mom?
Love you,
xoxo
It's quiet unbelievable that the 'little woman at home' truly believed that stuff! I don't think my Mum ever did though - she was always a bit of a rebel. I think Wahid was lucky to have 2 evenings to himself!! Hugs to you
BT
x
Thank Gawd for Betty Friedan, is all I can say.
I love this - we used to send one of these excerpts (was it from an article in a women's magazine?) to one another, and HOWL with laughter.
I agree with you utterly. Excuse me, who do we think wrote this? A woman? Not likely! Starting with labor and delivery, do you know ANY man who could do what we do without cracking? I rest my case.
I've never understood the so-called "man's man," who prefers to go out with other men instead of with his wife. Why do guys like that get married in the first place? Sure, they need to have their own time with friends (heaven knows we need that, too), but family is first, in my book.
Wahid sounds like a gem. Of course, he'd rather be with you! I'd like to know more about that welding. Is it art welding? Like garden gates, sculpture, etc.?
Love to you, dear friend. XOXO
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your new header Renee!
My husband would rather do stuff with me than without me. That MAY or MAY NOT have something to do with the fact that we have only been married 3 years.....lol, hope it lasts!
Love you dear one,
LuLu~*xoxo
Some of these responses are hilarious!!!!!!!
Renee, when did you sneak into my house and take a photo of me ironing? (Yes, I still iron but only my things and very quickly.)
My first husband used to stop off on the way home. Then one of his 'stop offs' became his new wife and kid! Bastard.
I'm so better off without him.
I sent him to Quebec with those friggin bats. ;P
hey, have I told you I love you today?
I do. Why should today be any different?
xoxoxo
Laurel/Lolo
Good Morning Renee. If I passed ANY of these tests Trev would fall off his perch in shock! Since he lost his job just over a year ago he has been trying his hand at being a househubby ... with verrrry mixed results. I keep qiet. As long as he is trying then it's OK with me. I do mention vegetables at least once a day though otherwise I'm sure I'd be at risk off scurvy!
It SNOWING!!!!
Now I know this is no news in Winnepeg, but here in deepest Wiltshire this is most definitely news. Winter wonderland all around. Beautiful. Hope the bats have been banished. xx Jos
I just adore these posts!! Can you believe that some men are still like this? Seriously!!! Makes me want to throw up!
You have a marvelous husband my dear!!
love,
manon
xo
I'm with ya sister! Love you Renee! :)
heeheehaheehee...
i'm proud to say my mother never bought into any one of these things! my father and the rest of us followed her lead.
heeehahaheehaha.
i am going to swear. i can't help it. this is fucking hysterical.
i love how you write about this.
heeheehaha
i can't stop laughing. i am now imagining wahid's face reading this.
hahaheehee.
my mother most definitely approves.
haha.
hee.
"(Failed, I would have a shit fit if he was going out after work, while I was at home)" That is not what I would have thrown! All of his personal belongings would have been thrown to the curb, right along with him. So I too failed! LOL Love you Renee!
(((HUGS)))
Giggle snort..yeah right..not in my house. Jim makes as many dinners as I , tucks kiddos in, rubs backs, does laundry and washes dishes too. Going out without me..the boy is a hermit..I wish!! Giggle..wonderful one hon!!
Love ya hon, Sarah
I love these posts because I could have written them. I am a firm believer that a woman has to please her man! Otherwise, why even get married? Just live with someone you can always leave any time? I try to please my husband all the time because I love him. In turn he pleases me, boy does he please me. I do the same for my children but the returns are few, I guess because I am a mother. I also do the same with my friends. I LOVE TO PLEASE PEOPLE I LOVE. What is wrong with that? Women have become so conscious of equality and tit for tat. Men and women are different. We have different specialties, talents and traits, that is why we got married to compliment each other. If you please your man and you are not happy doing it, then you married the wrong man, leave or get a divorce. Some men are jerks but some women are bitches too. I am a wonderful wife. Many men wanted to marry me, they still tell me they want to marry me sometimes in front of my husband, they say things like "If you were not married, I would marry you." I reply - "Yeah? If I were not married, I certainly wouldn't marry you!" "Why?" "Because I don't want my husband flirting with other women!"
Anyway as for the book or manual, they should be reprinted. Perhaps there would not be so many antidepressants being prescribed and not so many visits to the psychotherapists.
The truth is women, unless they are lesbians, want men. They make themselves attractive to men when they are young. They try to catch a man or make a man fall in love with them. Well, honey you got your man, now love him.
Anybody who disagrees with me, can take this discussion offline. Ooops, excuse me, my man is calling...COMING HONEY!
Yeah!
Now, you made ME laugh! I was thinking of my neighbor and friend, who welds for fun! She made her garden fence and gate. (She also nearly blinded her dog by accident, but all ended well.)
XOXO
Ha, I've heard something about this book and "advice" for housewives, sorry, home makers. Fortunately, I am not of that generation. I love to watch Mad Men show because they show it like it was in late 50ies and early 60es: drinking, smoking, cheating, boredom, lies, lies, lies.
We are much luckier then our mothers, aren't we?
Thank you for asking about my well being - we are all fine right now.
Yes, I would not have done well as a housewife in the 50's. Well, I barely qualify as one now... I do love to cook though and I wish I could make a magic dish for you that will make the bats leave your stomach for good! I'll have to think on that... Can't have you starving! No, no, no! Love, Silke
That is so funny! And it sounds like welding goves are the only thing Wahid ever buys from the hardware shop though I am sure that is not the case! Andy often comes home late and has been out to dinner or a drink(or a 'tavern' as he put it when I rang to find out where he was tonight!) He has the great excuse of entertaining clients-though in the credit crunch it does amaze me-but they go to all sorts of posh places! Of course, I always make the evening his as soon as he walks in the door. Though actually it is more that he makes the evening mine. As I type he has just bought me another cup of tea and has just turned off my bath which he ran for me. In fact I think Andy is my fifties housewife! We are all a bit reversed in our house-I tend to go to the hardware store and Andy tends to do the cooking.
I like that picture too-I almost like ironing-almost!
xx
I love this post. It makes me laugh. You are an amazing lady, able to go from a serious post yesterday to a hilarious one today. Hugs to you, Barb
snort!
I'm just shaking my head at "the good old days." Yikes.
I love this lighthearted, sassy post. Are you feeling a tiny bit better?
I can't even comprehend that excerpt. Is it in English?
God don't you love those "Good Housekeeping" rules. Don't forget to change clothes, take that apron off and put on a pretty dress and some lippy. And on a serious note, raising children is one of the most difficult careers there is especially when you're working full time as well, you have to deal with 'children' at work and when you get home!
Renee, when I go to my blog, which isn't as often as I would like, and see that a comment has been left by....YOU, well, it makes my day. We have never met and share cyberspace experiences and yet I feel as though we have known each other for years. I feel very close to you in many ways, and it is such a joy I want to say thank you. Thank you, from my very full heart.
I'm with you,Sister. That 50's housewife rule shouldn't even have been in place back then. Make the evening his. RightIamsosure. Got a good laugh from that and a great smile from your own version of how things work.
Renee - please don't tell Rick that Wahid has two days off a year. You will ruin things completely here. He gets no days off, and I get no days off, and there is an equilibrium that must be kept. You and your radical ideas! Two entire days????? xoxoxo Pam
LMAO, I love this one!!! Now that is funny shit.
My husband came home once and said "Whats for dinner?". As I replied, your assuming that I'm making dinner. He looked at me and said what should I say. I said try "Are we eating tonight?" 28 years of marriage and he has never asked again "What's For Dinner", lol.
((Hugs))
Brenda
My parents were a classic 50's blue collar couple, married 53 years. My mom stayed at home and my dad worked physically hard! For twenty years he lifted mail bags in the bowels of Pennsylvania Station in NYC. He did not drink and he was home on time He started this job the day after the market crash, when he was 18 and supported 8-10 family members.
After 20 years service he was unceremoniously laid off due to a merger.
I think that their life is not our life. The "rules"(or the "roles") were different. A bit of apples and oranges, when comparing compare
I have one of those books around here somewhere too. The list of weekly house cleaning chores alone is overwhelming and impossible if the wife had a job too. And not only were the rugs to be taken out and beaten weekly but women were to be dressed nicely while doing it....and of course the book advises that we really spruce ourselves and greet 'him' at the door with a cocktail and only good news...whatever you do don't stress I'm further with tales of you stressful day...talk about failing...there are days when I head straight to the studio and stay all day only to realize when the Bear is on his way home that I'll be greeting him and I've yet to brush my hair...aw well...I'm good at other stuff.
hug, hug
oh, i missed you while i was away! i'm glad to read this cheery post, you are so much fun and so, so far from failing at anything!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
'scuse me while I pick myself up off the floor.
Oh man, I can just see Donna Reed running the vacuum in her pearls and little white ruffled apron.
What a crock.
Wahid is a lucky guy, and he knows it.
xoxo right back at you
Here here Renee...
I got over that "let me take care of you" awhile back... yes He worked long hours, long hours!!! But raising my son took long long hours... getting up in the middle of the night, when he was sick, when we were both sick... I would have never traded that job for his... but I also believe we were equal : )
Now I don't clean the upstairs where he sleeps just where I sleep... wow you should see his room LOL~
I love you Renee...
I love your new header... it's very powerful
Pattee
Those were good old days for men; but drudgery and stress for mothers, especially those who worked outside the home. Thanks for the memories.
I'm beginning to despise any type of standard. It sounds like you've done what worked for the two of you, and you have carried a large load of rearing children. I'm glad he was/is there in the vening and on weekends to support you:)
You sound like a good guy, Wahid.
I like this one, Renee, and thank goodness we don't live like that! I feel sorry for the women that did!
Yep, I would say that we have come a heck of a long way since the 50s.
Burning your bra in the 60s/70s? I'm surprised that there wasn't some serious injury done to other "things" LOL
Love the new header Renee - very full of emotion.
Hugs to you!
Say it LOUD sister..Amen...work, kids, food, house, chores, sleep(very little)...repeat...Panic if we got a night alone.
Love you Lovey...Wahid is a prince..
xoxoxo
Your relationship sounds about right. I don't understand at all how women could have bought into that mindset, but I guess many did.
Thank you for your very kind comment about my sketches. They seem necessary, somehow, to my psyche, and I'm very pleased with them. (Of course I don't post the many many more dreadful sketches, but that's just the way it goes)l
This is so funny! I got married young and in the early 70's. I vaguely remember reading somewhere back then a hint to pleasing the hubby. It said that women should sometimes greet their man at the door naked and wrapped in saran wrap!! UNREAL AND SCARY!!! Hey I could probably scare those bats away with this technique Love You!
I have just spent quite awhile reading through your words. You are such an amazing woman! (and a fantastic writer). I am happy to have found you.
It sure is, and I am grateful for every second of it.
Rainy-how often does he buy these welding gloves? Great post and pic. xo~rick
For the first year of my first-born's life, my hubbie would come home from work, take one look around the mess we called home, and say: "What exactly did you do all day?"
Play.
I played, played, played with my delightful baby all day long, and I don't regret a moment of it.
But I do need a housekeeping tutor now that I'm an empty-nester. Any suggestions?
lovely post renee!
i like the painting a lot-so familiar and homey and close.....:) i still iron my clothes but i grew up hating ironing because it's hard for me to breathe :( i don't know why...., i like washing clothes more than ironing :)
you know what? i hope i can make a video of me singing a song for you :)but i don't think i'll have the courage because even if i like singing it doesn't like me at all and you'll be disgusted if i try:(
the sun is shining today and it's heavenly-i'll talk to the birds and even kiss them if i can and send them out to you.....maybe they can sing for you and wahid :)
...and yet, in my quiet time alone i will sing by myself and think about you and dedicate a song for you....any favorites?
Yep, sure, ace ...how utterly prehistrionic!
Ha! Didn't you mean so full of es eich one tee?
I'm with you, Renee.
I feel so sorry for the women who took this seriously. Really, it's so sad.
es=s, eich=h, one = I, te + t ....
spell it out for yourself genius.
Haha...for husbands one and two, I never ironed even a shirt. For partner number three...I iron for him, just as he irons for me. Love crept in, making me want to do stuff for him.
But we are empty nesters and it becomes much easier to do these things for each other, when children are not around to take up most of our time. Super post, Renee...it made me think about the differences in my husbands, lol!
Love and kisses. xoxox
Insane! Make the evening his? Ha! Everyday is his, and the kids. I do love them though, love them all. And it is the plight of a nuturing spirit. We work, we love, we carry on, carry it out, carry the flame.
Renee I will add that I think it's important both partners have time for themselves, to spend with fronds or whatever, without guilt. Keep it fair and even, that's all.
I love all these comments; well, mostly all.
;hearts; beloved moon sister
I love the way you live. It's quirky, it's you, it's honest.
I know I would fail all these 50's housewife things because I do stuff like buy my hubby new socks rather than do the laundry...but that's me.
Thank God we fail at the things that truly do not matter and work at the things that do.
xoxo, Catherine
m. s. Funny, I had you in my mind when I chose that header. It is dedicated to you.
Shine on ms. M. S.
♥
That was my mother's life and pretty much mine.
But I'm single now and can do what I want! When I want. If I want. Peace.
You are NOT a failure at anything. This is NOT the 60's. What's up with the guilt?
i love you renee! i snorted and my coffee just went flying through my nose!
and p.s. i snorted first and then the coffee went up through the nose. one thing at a time.
Ha, this is so funny! I'm glad that i wasn't a housewife then (i'm not a housewife today either, i don't like that word) I'm pretty sure that your love and hubbie never thought of you failing. I'm pretty sure of that. ;-)
I hope you're doing fine sweet friend?
xoxo
I'm feeling you ;-)
love love, K
my darling, 1:18 PM here, in bed, trying to figure how to get up and mostly important, why? I know, but we must. We must do it for all the reasons I gave earlier. You know and I know it, so just for today lets give us permission to stay in bed, pretend that nothing is happening and that the only thing missing is our bon-bons.
I love you more than words can say and I am so close to you at moments like this, although I must say, I prefer it if we could be eating bon-bons in bed together and laughing at our own folly. LALF.
Hehehehe, this made me giggle Renee! By the way, remember you were asking about my banner? Well yeah I did paint it couple of year back and if you like it I would love to send it to you.I would really love for you to have it. Whatever you wish to do is fine with me my friend! Let me know if you are intrigued, hugs to you!
Renee, I do believe Wahid is very blessed to have you, and vice versa. You haven't failed at all. You've succeeded in building a trustworthy relationship and loving home. Hugs to you!!!!
You are so very cool!
Always thinking of you, gripping a little tighter and not letting go.
Love right back at ya,
Susan
XOXOXO
This comment needs to come face-to-face with 2010 reality. I cannot believe it. I was growing up in the 1950s, and it wasn't that way in our house.
Renee, I just wanted to wish you again for the New Year... some deep reiki symbol at work untangling the pain, releasing the knots and batting away the bats... wrapping you tenderly in a muslin robe of love and prayer and hope and butterfly kisses xxx
I could not even be that humble and loving. I am so glad it is 2010. I hope you and your family are having good days.
Katelen
How are the bats tonight Renee?
I think of them before I go to sleep and when I wake...
I remember when my sister, and her kids (3) and my kid (1) and my brother slept at our cabin up on Smith River....One night I start screaming and then I get everyone in the cabin screaming... A BAT!!!! My brother (the hero) gets his flashlight and sure enough it's a bat flying and crashing into the walls and ceiling.... being young and afraid for our lives... my brother got a broom and banged and crashed around the cabin until the bat finally said "That's enough for me..." and left through the the deck door..... I think of this bat and the fear it had and how it just needed to be released... that's what I want for your bats Renee .... to just be released....
I want to chase them out with a broom....
Oh yea and a fucking loud mega phone.....
Good-night my dear friend ~
Much love ~Pattee
Hi Renee! Your new banner is wonderful! I absolutely love the painting dear Julie-ann created of your special family! Thanks so much for being the person you are! I really appreciate your touching visits! :)
Renee, no one is going to read this all the way down here... so I'm gonna tell you the truth about that picture....
That poor woman just sat that scrawny cat down after she squeezed some pee out of him onto the collar of that shirt... now she is using the iron to get the maximum aroma set in for her wonderful husbands enjoyment. This way he will know what she really thinks about ironing his damn shirts while he is out catting around.
"I would have a shit fit if he was going out after work, while I was at home"
Amen
We give. We take. And some of us fail. And some of us in our failures even manage to wildly succeed. Go figure.
You two have balance, love and respect. You have much.
(You - you are so kind to me. I wish it were so...perhaps one day. And maybe I don't even really wish it. I just hope I can continue to write. That would be enough.)
much love,
erin
Oh, I always make the evenin his (yeah, right!).
Still keeping fingers and toes crossed for you hunny. x
Amen, sista-friend! :)
;-)
This is old advice, before women had human rights.
You didn't fail. Wahid scored big time when he met his Renee! Bet cha Wahid agrees!
Love you!
Constance
Sweetheart, I read your comment at Allegra's. I am so sorry to hear about your dearest Mother. I hope she keeps her spirits up. You all got her spunk from her so I am sure she is one mighty fine woman. Good mothers are treasures and gifts we never lose. Bless her dear heart. Oh Renee, what struggles have been thrown your way!
agree with the others commentators!!
And the illos are so beautiful!!!
Once I got a call at work from Don's school that he hadn't shown up for a day conference. I went into a major bawling breakdown, thinking he was dead on the side of the road. My boss helped me call the local police, etc. 40 minutes later the school called to say he was at a different conference, all was well.
A work colleague thought I was very odd for responding as I did. She said, laughing, "I would just think he was having an affair!"
'Oh my' is all I can say ... have things ever changed.
This was amazing! I agree with you 100% on this one! I hope he realizes you're a treasure worth always having! :)
Great post m'dear... one of many of course. Loved it! Wishing you a Happy New Year, which I can on January 11th can't I? May all the WONDERFUL blessings you so RICHLY deserve visit you in 2010...!
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