Friday, 29 January 2010

My First Home














It is the real beginning of the real end.

My first home and an especial love of my life is leaving this world. It may take a few weeks or it may take a few days but how I am going to miss her; my Mom, the person who probably still cares the most for me in this world.

Angelique and Josephine and Domenic spent the day with Mom on Wednesday along with Mickey and Dwain and Taylor and they had a lovely time.

Angelique, Nadalene, and I spent the evening and we had a wonderful time and Mom was in good spirits. Mom kept saying how she would talk to Domenic and he would laugh and how happy that made her. And that little Josephine; of course full of life and love for great-grandma and how when Mom fell asleep; Josephine said ‘wake-up.’

But then Mom had to swallow some pills and that took a lot out of her. Fentanyl came in to play but it just didn’t help ease her breath or panic fast enough. It is hard to watch your mother struggle.

It was a very hard day for Jacquie yesterday as when I left her house with Colette and Wahid we went on to visit Mom and she had to stay home. Yes she phoned a few times and Mom rallied herself to say ‘Is that Jacquie, tell Jacquie not to worry.’ And Jacquie said she wouldn’t but of course she did.

Our family has always been a survival unit with our parents agreeing in all actions to care for us kids and for us kids agreeing (not in all actions) to take care of our parents. When I went to Shelly’s last night it was to a hard scene as Mom was disoriented. And at the same time it was beautiful to see her children all around her focused on her completely.

Harry was gone to get new medicine. Jeanine had been there all day and was talking to the nurses and getting all the information we needed. Suzie was upset and crying of course it is all so much. Mickey who has been there every day taking care of Mom while Shelly is at work was taking care of Mom and trying to help her. Colette and Joey were holding Mom’s hand and rubbing her back. Shelly was taking care of all Moms’ needs too and just putting herself out there. I sat back in a chair and watched.

When Mom settled I sat beside her and held her hand. She said ‘Who is that?’ I said “It is your Renee, Mom.” And Mom said ‘Oh my Renee.’

And how hard for us all that our mother whom we love and cherish above all others must face anguish and despair. She will endure pain and fear and suffering and she will fade before our eyes.

And yet we will hold her gaze in our hearts and in our prayers knowing that it would be disrespectful to avert our eyes even for a second. Our gift to her now is our undivided attention.

My mother’s wealth is her family. Mom is very proud of the bonds that her children have. And believe me, we have them. Mom would be the first to say that the wealth of her children could not be given a price and that she was proud of each and every one of us.

Shelly and Peter have set up a lovely room for Mom where she is so happy and comfortable. Where she says she eats like a queen. I will never forget that you have done this for Mom Shelly. Thank you.

We gather everyday now, we her adult children. We gather to her bedside which has become Holy Ground. You are our first home, our greatest champion.

I love you Mom. xoxoxo

124 comments:

deb said...

of course I'm crying.
for all of it.

and for you letting it wash down as grace on us.
not in vain
this love will flow like a river through us , to ours, an on.
and on... for always.

may there be more peace than suffering. more joy than sorrow.

~Babs said...

So hard,you want to do more, but what you're doing is really all she needs.(or wants)
My Mom had been non-responsive for a week, and I'd flown in to be with her and my 3 sisters.We were all sitting in her room, talking softly, wondering if maybe on some level she knew we all were there.And hoping that she did. It's very difficult being the one who lives 'away'. At one point during our conversation,Mom turned her head toward us, never opening her eyes, and in a loud voice and clear as a bell said my name.I feel that she understood that I needed her to know I was there.She never spoke again,and left this world 3 days later.I'm so glad you are all there.Knowing you're doing all that you can doesn't feel like it's enough,I know. But it is.
Prayers for all of you,,,,

Annie said...

Oh, honey, this is so hard a time for you, I know. You are lucky in that you have a good mom, not everyone has, though we love our moms no matter what.Also she is lucky in that she has children who love and respect her, not all moms have this either. You are always in my prayers and I am sending hugs to soak up some of that pain and loss you are feeling. Really, though, you know your mom is not going anywhere, not really, just into the arms of God, which can't be a bad thing. Love you. XOXO

Ces said...

That there! That picture right there! It's the one that will linger the most in your mind and warm your hearts. My father had a similar photograph with my son and his cousin sitting on his sick bed talking to my father. All the photographs of him, good looking, well dressed and healthy were fine but what soothe my heart later when he left was that joyful picture of my ailing father and my son and niece who expressed their love unconditionally when he needed it the most. God Bless your Mother Renee, God bless you sweetheart!

Sarah said...

Awww hon..I so love you..I do. So deeply sorry that you have to go through this. Having been there..it makes me weep with you. So hard to let go of that first home!
I am so very glad that you all rally around her and each other..what a blessing that is hon..huge.
I will simply say that I love you and send gentle downy hugs to you.
Love, Sarah

Marie said...

Beautiful post Renee. I cannot imagine how this must feel, although I know that one day I will experience something similar first hand. My love and prayers are with you all. Your mom looks and sounds like a very special lady. xxoo

Gloria said...

My thoughts and prayer's are always with you and your family Renee. ::hugs::

Caroline said...

Love seeing the photo of your beloved Mom. What precious moments these are. Thinking of you and your family, Renee. x

Kelly Lish said...

Oh Renee, I cant even imagaine the depth of this kind of loss. I still have both my parents, and dread the day I will have to say goodbye. I'm sending you prayers of love and strength and peace. I love you.

jacquie said...

i love you so much mom and thank-you for the privilidge of bieng my friend as well as the best mother i could ever ask for...i am a great mother because you showed me how to be that kind of mom and for showing me how to stand on my own two feet along with many important life lessons.
i may not be there physically but i know you sense my presence as i am emotionally and spiritually with you and can take peace in knowing you will have sheldon,dad and peter and pauline who you have longed for since you lost them..
my wish for you is you are not scared and you journey on peacefully....when the time comes .......good night god bless you mom....all my love jacquie

Mundo Mundaca said...

I am extremely moved with their reports.. I wanted me to have the power to do something to relieve your suffering and of your family.
But I also see in you a force a resignation and a love infinites.
it is without doubts a wonderful family that it inherited of the creative mother all the dignity and force to create such worthy and loving beings.
That God illuminates you and that the angels spill on all your family the love balm so that it relieves a little your pain.

Diva Kreszl said...

dear sweet Renee, so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time right now. I know how difficult it is to watch a mother suffer and finally to lose her in the end. I miss my mom still after 12 years and I imagine I always will until we see each other face to face in heaven. I shall continue to hold you all in my prayers!

yoborobo said...

Oh, Renee, I am in tears. Our mothers are our very first homes. They are the first true love of our lives. Your mom is so fabulous, and has done such an amazing job raising you and your sibs. I have so much respect for her, I can't express it - my words fail me. Just know my heart hurts for you. Love to you all, and to your dear Mom. xoxoxo Pam

Julie said...

Renee.....I am so sad for you and your precious family...but, at the same time, I think this is probably the most beautiful sentiment I have read from you yet. How you are able to so beautifully articulate the love of a mother and her children is amazing. With love and prayers for you always my dear friend...xxxxxxx

Art by Sascalia said...

Thiking of you

Art by Sascalia said...

Thinking of you Renee, my love to you and your mum. X

Arija said...

Here I am quietly crying to myself at three o'clock in the morning.
It is so hard to watch your mother slowly slipping away. My sister and I were in hospital on a daily basis taking care of ours too.

Just remember "together strong".

Noreen said...

I find your writing today filled with great love and happiness, yet, great sadness as you and your family watch your mom slowly leave this world. You are talented to be able to express so well the beauty of what a true treasure your mom is. So clearly she has passed this gift of love on to those she loves dearly. Her children and grandchildren. You and your family are so blessed. My prayers continue to be with all of you.

Being the selfish self absorbed person that I am, I have to say that I have missed your presence in our Tuesday support group. Trust me, I do understand that your "plate" is full. I'm speaking only from a selfish little corner of my being.

Take care my friend. Love, Noreen

Dawn said...

Renee - how sad to see your mum detirioate... how bloody hard. BUT! TAKE HEART in knowing that your mum will be with ALL ALWAYS - because of the way she has brought you ALL up to be such wonderful, caring humans- her legacy for ever will be seen within the family and beyond because of who she was and what she instilled in you all...
The greatest gift of all, cherish it my friend...

LOVE YOU & YES OWOH a year ago introduced us and for that I am glad xxxx

Donna, The Decorated House said...

Hello Dear Renee~
You certainly have so much more to deal with than I could image right now in Life. Ah... Life, it is full of everything. And it's not all easy. I am so sorry to hear that your Mom is in this state. She is truly a rich & blessed woman. And I am sure she knows that, deep within her heart and soul.
Hugs, Donna

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Wishing you all strength and joy in your time together.

Elizabeth said...

This brings tears to my eyes. The love in your family is just so beautiful and I thank you for sharing this love with us. May you be surrounded by LOVE in the coming days.

Inner Toddler said...

my heart is with you and your mom, renee. xox

Cat said...

My heart breaks with yours. I sat with my sister, younger than I, last year this time as she too was leaving this world.

I can tell you as hard as it was to be with her through it, and believe me it was excruciating to watch...I would not have missed it for anything on this planet!

The anniversary of her death is looming. Feb. 17th. We shared a very special Valentine's Day last year and for me that day will never be the same.

I just want you to know that I understand how sad this time can be and how many different things come into your thoughts. You feel so many things.

Feel this...

Huge Hug!
Thoughts & Prayers,
Cat

Marion said...

I love you, Renee, and I'm so happy your beautiful mother brought you into this world. You are all in my prayers and thoughts. Blessings...

karen gerstenberger said...

Ah, Renee. No one could have said it better.
It is holy ground, all of it - your mother's body (your first home), Shelly's home where she is staying now, and the place where she will be at home with your dad, with Sheldon & our Katie. Every one of these places is holy, and it is such a grace that she is held in precious love, every step of the way. Much love to you, dear friend (and a kiss of thanks from me to your mother, for giving you to the world). XOXOXOXOXO

Laura Hegfield said...

Renee, this is a beautiful tribute to your Mom and your whole family really. What a blessing to be present, to give full attention to your mother in this way...she birthed you all into the world, and you are all witnessing her birth into the next one.
gentle steps,
laura

The Dutchess said...

Dearest Renee...you will always be your Mom's Renee...and when you look in the mirror there you will see not only yourself but also your mother...she can never leave you...She was your first home...and she gave you your(very strong) roots...I wish you strenght '
Hug T.D

jenjen said...

Oh Renee - I am so sorry yo are going through that with your mom. I am sure she is so happy to have her family with her and to know that you all love her so much!

((hugs))
Jen

secret agent woman said...

It seems to me that you and your family are giving your mother a chance at the best possible way to go - wrapped in a cocoon of love. I hope that I am that lucky when it is my time.

Deborah said...

Blessed be God forever, blessed be His Holy Name. Blessed be the Holy Name of Jesus Christ, the Risen Lord...enter now and walk upon this Holy Ground...speak with Holy Lips, see with Holy eyes, Your ever faithful servant who has kept your final command, even when breath no longer comes...
Love one another as I have loved you. Amen

Silke said...

What a wonderful tribute to your mom, Renee! You truly have an extraordinary family - with all the suffering and anguish, your love for each other is what stands out most! I'm keeping you all in my heart!! Love, Silke

Tam Hess said...

Thanks for sharing this time with us! I'll be praying for peace for you and your family. xoxox Tam

Anonymous said...

Ah, Renee.... so much pain and sadness - yet, you and your family have such a precious gift from God....each other. A family who TRULY loves each other and supports one another....

I am so happy you have been able to visit your Mother.... wish Jacqui could too... what else can I say.....you are doing all the RIGHT THINGS....and your Mother knows it.

Stay strong, my dear.... you are loved by your family and by all of us.

Robin

clairedulalune said...

Renee, thinking of you today, and I am so sorry for your heartache. With love, Claire.

one little acorn said...

Beautiful and so so sad Renee. So glad you can all be there and embrace her in a familiar and loving home. I wish Jacquie could be there too.
It is a hard thing to breathe when your heart is breaking (this is something you once wrote to me). Just try to remember to breathe.
Lots of love to you. Thinking of you.
xxx

Vicki Holdwick said...

Renee,

Such sadness and such difficulty, yet such a wonderful thing that you are such a close and caring family.

Such love and devotion many humans never experience.

Lots of love to you and your family in this difficult time.

xoxo

Julie said...

*sob*

You guys are sending your mother off in the best way possible. It is lovely and humbling to behold; thank you so much for sharing it with us.

zoe said...

i'm so sorry, sweetie. she must be an amazing person, to have created someone like you! hugs to you and your mom :)

*jean* said...

such a beautiful, touching tribute to your mother, renee....my whole hearts spirit is with you...

Wine and Words said...

It's lovely how you can see such moments of beautiful interaction in this very sad situation. Love and devotion are so strong here. I do not have this kind of a relationship with my mom or dad, but I can imagine the anguish if I were losing someone close to me. I'm sorry Renee. I hate to hear your heart ache.

Wine and Words said...

"I close my eyes and I see your face. If home is where the heart is, then I'm out of place. Oh won't You give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now."

Mercy Me - Homesick

Wine and Words said...

"I close my eyes and I see your face. If home is where the heart is, then I'm out of place. Oh won't You give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now."

Mercy Me - Homesick

Kelly Kilmer said...

Sending much, much love...xo

Jenny S said...

Oh sweetie, I am just in tears. I was not there when my grandmother passed away, but mom mom was holding her hand, my granddad the other, my aunt her foot and my dad holding her hand over my mom's. Shortly after she took her last breath a cricket came out on the hearth next to the hospital bed in the living room, which is weird since it was December 18th. Grandma always said crickets were good luck and to never kill a cricket, so now, 25 years later whenever I see a cricket I always think of grandma!

lakeviewer said...

I'd be so proud to have your family so, if I were your mom. She knows and feels all the love. A great thing to have especially now.

studio lolo said...

I pray for her comfort and an easy transition to her resting place.

I know this is hard, so hard.

I love you Renee.
It's not much to offer you right now but it's all I have.

Blessings to your family and to you.

xoxo

Maggie May said...

This was a sad post but one that shows tremendous love. I really felt I was trespassing on your blog today...... as though I shouldn't be there. This seemed to be a private family moment that I stumbled onto. There is such a bond between a mother and daughter.

Nuts in May

Angela Recada said...

Take all the time you need to be with your dear mom, my darling friend. You are, all of you, in my heart and in my prayers.

Love and hugs,
xoxoxo
Angela

Great-Granny Grandma said...

Oh sweet friend, this is so beautiful and sad at the same time, and your mom is right about you all being her wealth. Your family is so solidly bonded one to another with cords of love and atrength.

Baino said...

Renee how difficult it must be but in a way quite wonderful to have the time to say your goodbyes and share your love. My mum was killed suddenly,we had no time to prepare, not chance to say goodbye. My dad died slowly, not too painfully, but we knew the inevitable and were able to prepare and care and he had a chance to tell us how much he loved us and us him. There is no good way to die. No good way but your family are giving your all to make this wonderful woman's long life worthwhile. Bless you honey.

cinner said...

Renee, This was such a touching post, every word is one filled with love. It is so good to have you and all the family around her at this time. I wish I could reach out and hug you. I know there is nothing to make this easier for you. My prayers are with you all at this sad time.

pinkglitterfae said...

oh Renee, how this post breaks my heart :-(
God bless your beautiful mom.

blessings
xoxo betty

YayaOrchid said...

None of us knows the day or the time we'll have to leave for our eternal journey. Just enjoy every moment you have with her. Shower her with love. And remember that there is life after death; Get right with God Renee! Not saying you're not, it's just something for ALL of us to tell ourselves every day.

Margaret Ann said...

"You are our first home, our greatest champion"...these words take my breath away...and make me focus deeply...thank you Renee for, yet again, another life lesson...
Margaret xo

Julie-ann Bowden said...

You can see the warmest most beautiful spirit in her eyes. She is so very beautiful.
So nice the see her.
Bless you Renee and your family!

HUGE HUG and KISS!

Julie

LuLu Kellogg said...

Such a beautiful post Renee. Your Mom is truly blessed to have all of you and I know you feel the same about her.

Sending Love,
LuLu~*xoxo

Mary Ellen said...

Blessings and strength to you all.

Linda said...

Oh my God. This is only one of the reasons why we love you so much.

xoxo right back at you

deb said...

Thinking of you ...

rochambeau said...

I love you Renee,
Thank you for being the Brave solider that you are. The kind of woman who can be honest and open and write this post. It is good. We can all pray for your mom.
She is an inspiration and so are her children.
My prayers are there with you and your family.
Love,
Constance

Rick said...

Renee- How blessed you all are to have each other. I don't think it'll end here. I think the love will go on. Hugs~rick

Dede said...

I am not going to tell you that I know what you are going through. I do not and I truly fear that day....I love you Renee...together strong...

(((HUGS)))

Angie Muresan said...

I love you, Renee. I'm crying as I read this for your mom, for you, for your siblings, for your children. Life is so unfair. And yet... what you have together is so beautiful and so unique and so blessed. I've thought of you today. A dear friend passed away and as I helped bathe her body for the last time, I thought of all the dear and gentle people my heart clings to. Wishing you a peaceful night.
Hugs and love and kisses,
Angie

Rob-bear said...

So very touching Renee. Especially difficult watching someone die by inches, right before your eyes.

Blessings in a very difficult time.

oneartistjournal said...

I'm sad, so sad, as your words remind me of my own mother. Just like yours she cared for me the most in the entire world and just like your mother she left with anguish and despair. I am with you Renee, in my heart and in my soul....and even though I've never met you or saw you big blue eyes...I feel a very special love for you...

Marie S said...

Oh my beautiful darlings, what a beautiful picture of your mother with the babies.
I am so sorry for all of you and your hurting hearts.
I am on my way to do the same, my husband's mother is passing too. And my family is going to be with her for the last time, give me the strentgh of yours to deal with my breaking heart with as much grace as you.




Because this human body gives up does not mean that we do. Until we meet again, keep the door open and the light on and thank you so much for being my other mom Rosalie, I love you!

ToM KiDDo said...

your Mom looks well in that picture...hope blessings gather around Her and sooth her...Blessed be :D

Purpur said...

To loose a mother must be the saddest thing (except, you know, and I shall not mention it). Moments like that let you know that, despite everything, we are profoundly alone in our grief - nothing and nobody can make it lesser. Happiness we share, but hurt and grief, we cannot. I feel for you, dear Renee.

NightSwimmer said...

Sending loving thoughts your way during this difficult, overwhelming, and holy time.... xo.

becky at abbeystyle said...

These are heavy times for you...my thoughts and prayers go out for you from Florida.

I can relate. I have a fragile mother not long for this world...

Arija said...

To all of you at this time, I send my love.

Marion said...

Your mother must be a really wonderful woman, Renee, to inspire such constant love and care from her family. I'm so sorry the end is near.

Out of four daughters, countless grandchildren...I was the only one who sat with my mother when she died. My mother was not the best mother...she alienated many in her lifetime, even her kids. Yet I am so glad I grew to understand her and so glad I was with her at the end of her lifetime.

Please take care of yourself over the next while...

Sonia ;) said...

Your mom is very lucky to have such a loving family. In todays society that is a gift rarely seen anymore. She is blessed to be able to be home and with her babies. She will have a open arms welcome with Sheldon and your father to greet her.

When it is my time to go I hope is with all the love and wealth of my family like yours..

Love you Lovey and Jacquie

Barbara said...

I'm so sorry your mother has to go through this and believe me when I say she's sorry YOU have to go through this.
We experienced the same thing with both my mother and Dad. It's so difficult to see them failing and in pain.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending you strength.

Karin Bartimole said...

I am sending you so much love and support Renee and Jacquie. I hear the sorrow in your voices, the love, and the admiration for this amazing woman, your mother. I send blessings to you all for a smooth transition in this time of passage. You all show so much grace, and as your mother has blessed and carried you into this world, you now bless her on her way out. It is beautiful, painful, and life-full. Your full family presence through it all is an amazing gift you share with us.
With great love, Karin

A Cuban In London said...

Words might fail me, but my feelings don't. Big hug for you, your Mom and your family.

Manon Doyle said...

Renee,
My prayers are with you and your family. I hope that you all find peace at this difficult time. Your mom is so loved by all of you and she will take that love with her. You're in my heart, my dear friend.

manon
xo

Melinda Cornish said...

ohh, I have been in this place and know how hard this is.....You are a wonderful daughter...melinda

Debbie said...

My heart is breaking for you and your family as you spend these last days with your precious mom. May God be with you and bring your mom peacefully into heaven.

Draffin Bears said...

Dear Renee,

Your Mum is beautiful and what a sweet photo of her with the great Grandchildren.
Such a hard time for you, but glad that you have a loving and supportive family to help you through these days.
Our Mothers are such a big part of our life, bringing us into the world.
Sending my love, to you dear one,
and thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
Carolyn

nollyposh said...

a beautiful, beautiful tribute... She has done her job well in this place that you all will miss her so very much and when she moves to the in~between her huge heart will live on in you, just as it does right now... i so love your words that our Mothers are our first homes, You my dear friend are so beautiful too, Love and (((hugs))) to you all xox

Silke said...

Just a little love note to say I am thinking of you and your family!! Love you! Silke

Linda said...

Your post was a little harder than usual for me to read this week as I lost my mom early Tuesday morning. Thank God that you are able to be with your mom in her final days. I wish I had been in town when my mom passed. I'll be praying for you and her.

wykdwytch said...

Sending love and blessings and that this time is both special and without fear.
I cannot begin to think of what you are all going through - the pain must be great.

Cindy said...

That makes me cry, leaves a big lump in my throat. I am incredibly sad and feel like my heart is breaking. Bless you Renee, and your Mom.

Allegra Smith said...

Do not be sad, be joyful and thankful that you and the rest of the family were blessed with loving parents and loving children. She has earned her rest and the time, once again, with those she missed most. You have each other and wonderful memories, the warmth of love and laughter that should not be absent when she goes to be reunited with those she loves and misses. Think, if the man you married and love with all of your heart leaves you in the last chapter of the book of your life, how are you to close that book? She needs him, and how can two who were one truly live without the other? Usher her gently into her sweet sleep, let her go with love and not with sadness, that she will know it is alright to leave and that your love for each other and the memory of their love will be all the comfort that you all will need in the days to come. Love is never touched by death. That is as true as the love your dear parents have left in you. My love and Light to all of you.

PS: Renee, Allegra asked me to post this for her and she will get in touch with you as soon as her dizziness eases. Barry

Woman in a Window said...

I read this and all I can think is, learn from her, erin. Learn from her and her and her. They are wise. They have it right.

my love to you and your mom,
your whole family Renee,
your special lot

xo
erin

@eloh said...

This post is really hitting close to home.

Just love her and tell her so.

Lisa said...

I am humbled, I think you spoke a true meaning for me, thank you. I was the daughter who always fought with my Mother, yet as she aged and needs the help, I seem to be child who takes care of her, not because it's expected, but because she is a human being that I love. And Jacquie, thank you for your post also.

Lisa

Rochelle said...

I pray for your mother and for all of you that she has that kind of time when nearing transition that is not full of suffering and fear but a sense that one foot is in wherever we go to next, and there is a sense of peace and calm and love as much as anything else. I have seen it happen several times and heard of it happening even more. I think that someone who has their whole family around them must be even more assured to be candidates for this kind of state. I think most of us wish to have that kind of situation when we are closing the chapter to a long life where we were well loved... surrounded by family and friends, able to be at home at best, and comfortable... How lucky she is in that respect, and blessed to reap such riches at this time in her life.

It is just so hard for those around no matter what, but often they too can find some peace in those facts. I wish them for you and all you mentioned here.

Lori ann said...

i'm sorry renee. i feel so sad and helpless. i am going through the same with my own darling mom and i don't know how to write about it.
i wish you comfort and peace. you already have all the love in the world.
i love the photo.
♥ lori

BT said...

What a heartfelt post Renee, but what a wonderful woman your Mum is and how well she has endowed her children with her best qualities. It is so hard to watch your parents fade and struggle but you and your sister and family are doing just the best thing for her. Surrounding her with love. What could be better.

Barbara said...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Barbara

Bella Sinclair said...

Dearest Renee, I love you and your family so deeply. My heart weeps. I pray for your mother's comfort and peace. Having you all there with her is the greatest gift.

xoxoxo

kendalee said...

You and your amazing family are a testament to what a wonderful woman and mother she is... such a sad time for you but the love is palpable even from all the way over here and that's an incredible thing. I am thinking of you all. k xx

Mim said...

That is such a great picture Renee so much love showing. Your mom is a lucky loved woman tough on you all to watch this, but how wonderful to be surrounded by family as this next phase in the journey.

Arija said...

Dearest I have been with you since you put this post up. I left two messages but obviosly they did not get through.

My love to you all at this difficult time.

Arija said...

Renee my dear, yes I have been there where I could take no more. With what brain I had left after a 6 hr. op and 4 days induced coma I still resisted asking for anything spacific. We so often ask for what is not for our ultimate good. I just said:'please God, I can't take any more' over and over in my head and I was taken out of body...
but that is a long story.

Whenever you feel like that, just ask your guardian angel to arrange it "for the greatest good of all concerned", that way only the right thing can happen.

I have been with you all these days knowing how very hard it is for you and your whole family.

Sometimes life seems unbearable but remember we are never given more than we can bear.

XOXOXOXO Arijaponveren

Anonymous said...

Oh Renee,You are on holy ground as you journey with your mother. You are all in my prayers everyday. You and Jacquie express your thoughts so beautifully. Hugs to you all, Barb

jacquie said...

linda,
i am sorry to hear about your mom's passing on tuesday. it is especially nice of you to drop renee a line on this blog as it is so fresh. my heat and soul goes out to you and my prayers for a gentle journey into the next life for your mom.
jacquie

@eloh said...

Oh Renee, this post really hits close to my heart.

I'm getting bad with my comments (again), I read and think I have commented... it's happening a lot here lately.

SilkandBone said...

Renee- Thanks for leaving the comment on my blog- very kind of you. And it's nice to meet you via cyberspace.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my father a couple of years ago. All I can say is that I'm glad I got to know such a wonderful man- and great dad. It sounds like your mom is a wonderful person and she will always be with you in your heart, and in you- her influence on your life will live with you forever- remember that.
I'm sending you happpy thoughts and wishes for strength and peace.

Flor Larios Art said...

Hi Renee,
I am not very good with words...a big hug for you from Flor.

Jos said...

Dear heart, so sorry to be absent yet again ... work ... a necessary evil. Your mother is a magical woman. She has worked miracles.

She has made a family ... a family of people who love and care for one another through thick and thin. She has made you together strong. No wonder you love her so ... and no wonder she loves you so much as well.

It is such an honour for me to pray for Daisy, and you, and Jacquie. I love you. xx Jos

Manon Doyle said...

I'm thinking of you Renee!
My love to you!!
xoxoxo

suzanne said...

Renee, When I look at this photo I think of what Allegra said on an earlier comment. This comment helped me greatly because I lost my Mom 1yr. ago Christmas Eve unexpectedly. She said that your Mother will always be there because you will be able to see her in your children's smiles. I see so much of your Mother in her Great Grandchildren's faces. I love how life can give us that kind of gift.

zoe said...

sweetie, i missed your silent saturday--i hope that you are ok, and i'm sending hugs to you guys!

CarolineH said...

I love you, Renee. I don't know what I can say..Please tell Daisy that I love her. I'll be thinking of her constantly, and of you and Jacquie too of course. Be strong my dear sweet sister of the heart.
<3 Caroline xoxoxo

rochambeau said...

Here, there are Prayers for You and for your Mother and Family. Including mine.
With Love,
Constance

aimee said...

you are beautiful renee. how lucky your family is to have you!

Ribbon said...

Hi Renee
I haven't been around much of late, but I just wanted to pop in to let you know that I think of you everyday with love.

I understand the pain of saying goodbye to family members.
Take care...
with love
Ribbon xxx

Anonymous said...

I just feel so sad.....sad for everyone. Your mom and dad raised a family like no other, an amazing family who knows what it means to truly be there for one another in good times and bad. My heart is going out to everyone right now.
Love Chrissy

Chrisy said...

Darling Renee and Dearest Jacquie ...I have no words...my love I send...

momcat said...

Tears in my eyes as I read your tribute to your mom and to your family. It is so good that your family have rallied round and are taking the time to say their goodbyes. So sad too that you are losing the rock, the anchor of your years from childhood on. May God give you strength to bear up. My thoughts are with Jacquie for whom it must be heartbreaking not to be able to spend this last time with her mom. Gods grace be with her too.

Jenea said...

OMG! You are very good person! I like you! Your mum is one one of the best mum on our planet, wish you and to your mum, more happines and smiles!!!

Sue said...

Renee, this is such a lovely tribute to your mother. How blessed you are to have such a mother that inspired your post.

It hurts. I lost my mom very unexpectedly just over 10 years ago and it still hurts. I miss her. One regret I have is that we lived on opposite ends of the country and I did not get to see her before she passed. Hold your time with your mom close.

xxxoooo
Sue

Laura Hegfield said...

sending love and prayers from my heart to you and your dear hearts.

Tabitha the KnittingJourneyman said...

Not much I can say here other than to offer support and love and mean it...

Momo Luna said...

Dearest Renee,
i had already comment on this post, but somehow there must be something went wrong. :-( I so do hope you know how i feel empathy for you and your lovely family and that my heart reachs out for you in these difficult times.
I wrote that this caring post moves me deeply and that i love the photograph of your mother.
A big hug for you dear Renee, and lots of strngth.

Bridgett said...

Sending lots of love and blessings to you and your entire family.

)O(
boo

Antonia Cardella said...

Renee, I am so sorry about your dear Mom, and about your health issues, which must make the grief that much harder. Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you well.

TJ

Halo Hill said...

I am deeply sorry.

Sheila

Aunty Camille said...

Hi Angelique It must be unbearable for you without your mom. I miss her sooo much. I was just looking closer at this picture of Gramma & the kids. Noticing how they are each connected to Gramma's lifeline. they each have a hand on it. Soooo cute.
Just so you know, I'm going through people's blogs & copying anything with your mom. There is tons of stuff. I'll be at it for awhile as I read everything. Your mom called me the History Keeper. Love you Ang.