Monday 25 May 2009

The Writings On The Wall












Funny how the things you thought were something end up being nothing; vapor and dust and smoke and mirrors.

Flashbacks From The Month Of May

May 20, 2001

*Nathan had his Grade 12 Graduation on May 9, 2001. We had a family party for him before his convocation and everyone came, he received a lot of presents, we took lots of pictures and he was very gracious to everyone. I am very proud of him, and of how all of my children handle social situations.

*I am happy to be alive so that I can enjoy going out with my daughters.

*I don’t feel that I have missed out on anything because I was afraid of what others would think if I stepped out ahead of them, because I don’t feel I considered what other people would think of me, their opinion does not matter to me at all.

*If this was my last year, these are some of the things I would do:

-- Meet with all of the people who are important to me (separately and at different times) and let them know why I value them.

-- Go on a family holiday to a beautiful island with Wahid, Angelique, Nadalene and Nathan and stay there as long as we could afford too.

-- Have private conversations with my children, letting each of them know how wonderful, unique, and special they are to me.

-- I would organize all my papers and money so that my family wouldn’t have to deal with it.

-- I would live my life to the fullest everyday and I would go to bed each night feeling satisfied that I had left no stone unturned.

-- I would be curious.

-- And last but not least I would find out why I only had a year left to me and I would find a cure for what ailed me so I could continue to live. If I could not find a cure, I would try to be at peace as much as possible and get ready for the next step in my evolution.

-- Most importantly I would live in the moment by living my life consciously.

*I think I imagined living in our own house meant that I would be happy every day, and that the house would always look wonderful. I definitely thought I would be happier having our own house, and 20 years later I know that in fact I am happier that we have our own house.

*When we hit bumps in the road, like loss of a job, we just tried harder. ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going.’

*I would definitely tell someone if they were important to me, even if I wasn’t important to them.

*One way I am robbing myself of joy is by focusing my attention on my weight, and therefore not going out as much as I would like to because I don’t feel confident in myself. This must change because I am robbing myself of happiness.

*I have to remind myself that in a blink of the eye, time is gone and I can’t get it back.

*Wahid is the person in my life that gives me the most contentment. I do depend more on my children to bring me satisfaction than I depend on myself to go out and get my own satisfaction. I have to learn to get some satisfaction that does not revolve around what my children are doing.

*Nadalene wrote in my journal ‘Kids + Chaos = No Romance’.

*I am so willing to live without a lot of things. There really is very little I desire.

*One thing I feel must happen in my life is that I raise three honest, dependable, happy, fun-loving, caring, kind, productive, and respectful open-minded, non-judgmental adults. If my children aren’t this way, I will be able to move forward. But I would not stop trying to make them good people.

*I think I am definitely attached to what people I care about think of me. But if I don’t care about them, then what they think of me is not important to me. I believe I can let go of the need for approval of what other people think of me, as a matter of fact, I have already let go of it.

May 13, 2002

*I believe that in my closest relationships we are a partnership of equals.

*I don’t think freedom means doing anything you want at the expense of others. If I feel like slapping someone, it would not be a freedom to just go ahead and do it.

May 25, 2002

*I think restraint is important in all relationships whether it be with husband, children, family or friends. Not everything you feel at a time needs to be said.

*I think being open-minded is a strength. I am willing to modify my position on an issue after learning more about something. ‘It’s okay to make a first impression, but you don’t have to marry it.’

May 30, 2003

*Angelique won an award from the Government of France for ‘French in Education.’

*I would never want to be in an unbalanced relationship where one person has power over another, nor would I want to be the person yielding the power. To have balance you need respect from all parties.

*Perspective – overall, I am satisfied with my life. I don’t have any burning desires. I don’t have any amends to make. I do have some regrets; some what-ifs?

*I definitely deal with frustration by withdrawal. I keep them to myself. I am a minimizer. I believe Wahid is also a minimizer. Because we are the same we have very little conflict.

May 24, 2004

*Time spent with family is a necessity for me. Time spent with friends is a luxury.

May 31, 2004

*I am trying to think when I felt really happy about the day ahead of me. I can’t really remember what it was like not to have worries, but I’d sure like to be carefree again.

*In six months from now I picture my life to be the same and it makes me feel overwhelmed, but at the same time I hope to God that there is nothing worse on my plate.

May 23, 2005

*My relationship with Wahid is going well because we respect each other. We have a shared history. When I forget, he can speak my memories (his words). My relationship with my children is going well because we respect each other. I enjoy my children. Their dreams are my dreams. They want for me what I want for them.

*It is definitely not a matter of time for me. It is a matter of will. When it comes to changes in my life, I am my biggest obstacle.

*The five ugliest things I say to myself are: loser; fat; basically I probably only use those two things to say to myself, but even then, very rarely. I sometimes feel sorry for myself by thinking I should have more money, have more things done around the house. I’m grateful and ungrateful.

May 29, 2005

*I live in the comfortable and familiar rather than challenge myself in the exotic and exciting.

*I am afraid of losing face. A dish of pride anyone?

*I won’t sacrifice my life for anyone. I am independent and don’t like anyone to be dependant on me. They can depend on me; they just can’t be dependant on me.

May 9, 2006

*Had blood transfusions yesterday. No boost of energy!

*Mom is a great older woman role model in many ways. Even on oxygen she is always game to go out and do something. Mom is alive until she is not.

May 15, 2006

*I really don’t have disagreements with people because I am quite comfortable with their opinion being different from mine. I agree to agree to disagree. I am not threatened by other’s opinions.

May 20, 2006

*Today was a pleasure to hold Hafeez’s baby. Pleasure must be a state of mind; a state of awareness in the moment.

*I don’t relish anything. I need to change my attitude and perspective on things.

May 24, 2006

*Dr. Dubroska felt chemo is working on the bone marrow as platelets are going up. She told me not to go for massage as it can spread cancer in blood stream as it is close to the surface. They made appointment for bone scan. Cancer is estrogen/progesterone driven.

May 4, 2007

*FEC first cycle. I am afraid, but so far so good as far as feeling sick.

Flash Forward

Everything is an illusion after all. It is vapor and dust and smoke and mirrors. However, the love one feels is always true.

94 comments:

Delwyn said...

Renee

May you enjoy every single day and be filled with love and joy and hope.

happy Days

Sarah said...

I love how you write Renee. Thinking of you with love. Sarah xx

Ces Adorio said...

Wow, you have always been an optimist and quite courageous. You are a brave woman. Your children's decorum in social situations is a product of your teachings and their upbriging. That says a lot about you.

You are truly remarkabale Renee. You have always been yourself from the very beginning.

God bless you.

Do you speak French Renee?

yoborobo said...

Renee - thank you for sharing your heart with us. I feel the way you do about my children - I want them to grow up to be good people, and happy. I don't much care what they do for a living, as long as they are happy and whole inside, and compassionate. You are a pearl of a girl, you know that? xox Pam

Deepa Gopal said...

A great list...I found agreeing on everything...eventhough I didn't know what it was like on medical grounds...i could feel it rather sense it.

You'll live long and experience all the bliss the world holds.

Have a wonderful day!

Julie said...

Wow...that really leaves me wordless with a lot of amazing observations and insight to think about.
Thank you for inspiring...xxx

Tammy said...

Hi Renee,
Just a Few Words..
YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON AND WRITER...
Hope you have a wonderful week..
Hugs..
Tammy

Ces Adorio said...

Yes Yes Yes!

You were born an evolved human from the very onset.

You are what we called special, original.

You know what they say ornery people do not become ornery overnight. The same goes with magnificent individuals.

They were born special, magnificent in every way, it flows through their veins and arteries, embeded in their brains and buried in their hearts. It's who they are. It's who you are! They can't help it.

Sarah Sullivan said...

Good morning hon,
I do love these posts, it offers me a chance to know you better and that is always a joy to me.
I think of you everyday too - thank you for telling me this hon - I guess I didn't find that comment till this morning and that was the way it should have been - I needed to hear that. Huge hugs.
You are right on here - it is the love that survives it all..yes? Thank you for being someone who loves me hon....right back at ya.
Blessings and love, Sarah

Caroline said...

I love to read your journal extracts Renee. Makes me wish I'd kept one over the years - sigh! Still, never too late to start... What's evident throughout this post is how positive you were then and still are now and what absolutely shines through is how great your love for your family is. Wonderful!
Hugs from Malaysia. Caroline x

Anonymous said...

Dear Renee, I love when you share our journal entries from the past. They give such insight into the wonderful warm, strong, loving, intelligent woman you are.
Love to you!
xoxoxo

Meghann said...

Love is all that matters. i am so glad you have such a wonderful family to give and receive love from. I hope you have a happy day with sunshine and smiles today :)
Much love, prayers and gentle hugs,
Meg

Unknown said...

Renee,

Thank you for sharing the past and present. You may not know this, or modesty blinds you. But you inspire, provoke, and bring forth an honesty in your words. You have a gift with your words, feelings and friendship to heal others. Make other aware and provoke conversation. What a true gift you have been blessed with.

Hugs..and kisses

Sonia xoxox

(My daughter says you Rock and are one special lady..I agree)

pRiyA said...

Oh God! It takes such courage to write these simple truths.

A very wise and insightful woman is writing this. I must read it all over again...now.

Daria said...

How wonderful you have a journal to look back on ... what a journey it has been.

Rosaria Williams said...

You have done a lot of thinking and your heart is at ease in this transitory life of ours. What else is there? Love and family are everything.

Unknown said...

Oh sweet Renee....I love these posts...it reminds me to take a moment to look around and enjoy each and every moment too...

bless your heart!!!

You are a gift to all of us...you help us understand that life and each day is truly a gift...and we never should take it for granted!!!

Hugs
Diana

angela recada said...

Good morning, dear Renee.

So much of what you have felt in the past, I have felt. So much of what you have written in the past, I have never had the wisdom or the courage or the words to write.

You and your words are a precious gift to all those whose lives you touch. YOU are not smoke and mirrors, vapor and dust. YOU are the real thing.

Every day of your life, I wish this for you:

"May soft be the grass you walk on. May fair be the skies above you. May true be the joys that surround you. May dear be the hearts that love you."
(a traditional Irish blessing)

xoxoxox
Angela

Great-Granny Grandma said...

Sounds like you are blessed with a wonderful, close knit and loving family, and your blog is a beautiful legacy you are preparing forthem.

BTW I just got done listening to some audio books, the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith. The setting is in Botswana, and they are just very light and humorous and delightful listening that motivate me to get out and walk (because that's when I listen to them--or when I have to a much disliked chore such as ironing).

Anyway, all that to say, several of the ladies (including the No. 1 detective) appear to be very overweight, but they don't call themselves that. They use the words "traditionally built." I love it. :-) I have started calling myself that too as I battle the bulge, which I guess I'm not really battling so much anymore.

Marion said...

Renee, you should write a book. There is so much hard-earned wisdom, love and hope in your blog that it's mind-blowing. About the weight--girlfriend, that's a universal worry with women---Mama is almost 80 and she STILL obsesses about her weight. I HATE that society/media puts that horrendously unimportant obsession on females. You seldom hear about men worrying about 10 or 20 extra pounds!

I loved that you said about your husband, "We have a shared history. When I forget, he can speak my memories." I thought of the movie "Beaches" with Bette Midler where her best friend dies young and leaves her daughter to Bette because they knew each other as girls. (I cry every time I watch that movie!) Your husband sounds like a very special man.

Congratulations on your children's milestones. I know you're very proud of them and have been a wonderful mother. Sending you hugs and LOVE----

Anonymous said...

Pudd

I should re-phrase

"Kids + Chaos = Need for realistic expectations on romance"

I remember this was written in defence of my Daddio.

N

Shelly said...

Your mind is a work of art – I love your intelligence! Thanks for letting us see what is going on in that pretty head of yours – mine is a whole lot of meow, meow, meow-meow!

Love the picture.

kj said...

ohmygod renee. i love these journal entries the best. sonia expressed my reaction beautifully. but i can't really say too much now, yet, because i will read and reread your words several more times today. you somehow mix the mundane and the magical in such a human way.

i am glad and honored to know you renee. you don't have to tell me you love me back, but it seems i have indeed come to love you, and you occupy a precious space in my days. (gulp..)

studio lolo said...

If I had children I'd have the same hopes and dreams for them.

Your words could be my words but then again that's not hard to believe.
We are after all, sisters.

xoxoxoxo
Lolo

pRiyA said...

har har...okay, you probably s*** your pants silly with fear when you wrote all that, but really sweetie, my million year friend, the depth, wisdom and strength that comes through in your writings is because you have balls.

now the word verification is propoop. that's funny :-D

pRiyA said...

...and YES I felt that kiss!!!!
:-+

Yoli said...

What a gift you are, not just to your family and blog friends but to the world.

Marie S said...

Happy Monday Renee,

WOW, you are a beautiful light and such a truth speaker.

Love is all there is.I love you Renee.
All the rest is smoke and mirrors.
I am forever better knowing you.
Giant virtual hugs,
Marie

Mickey said...

Renee You are so incredibly amazing and that does not even come close to describing you for me. As your sister I can see all the things you write and know how true they are and wish I could somehow put things down on a paper that is so true to the core and as I know so factual. Everything you write about your children is fact they are the most amazing and supportive children anyone could be blessed with and you are blessed with them as they are more than blessed with you God I am more than blessed with you as a sister How truly lucky I am to have you in my life and I get to hug, kiss, cry, share, and full out laugh with you BLESSED BLESSED BLESSED.... And when you write about Wahid don't get me started on him I love him.

I have said this about so many blogs but this is really my favorite. So real and right from the core of your heart.. You are incredible and I love and adore you. We really are so much alike as I feel if I could write like you I would have as I feel all the same things you wrote about my own life as if you wrote for me as well and hopefully lots of people can see themselves in this blog and know they are okay.

My heart truly beats with yours.

Love Mickey

Every Photo Tells A Story said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Loni Edwards said...

Renee, your words touched me. Thank you. You are beautiful.

Peace
Loni

Deborah said...

What a splendid, glorious, magnificent being you are, Renee. Reading this, a million thoughts run through my mind...have you always kept journals, and what a wonderful thing...how long have you been in this battle with cancer...how sweet your children are...how much I like your relationship with your husband...how at times I feel like a failure because some relatives have retired already...and poop, who cares, because my choices were made for love and life...and just mostly what runs though my mind reading this is how much I love you, Renee. I must say, looking at it from this side, you have done a splendid job of living. **blows kisses** Deborah

Ces Adorio said...

But do you French kiss?

Eleonora Baldwin said...

My, Renee what a journey. I love reading your journal entries. Each is a story. Each a development. Not at all vapor, dust, mirrors. Rather a path through the love.

"It is definitely not a matter of time for me. It is a matter of will."

Exactly. Your will is the force that drives you. Brave, strong, sunshine Renee.

You are a blessing.

Anil P said...

Memories are the oxygen that take the wheels over the bumps that lie in the road.

Many a mile beckons the wheels, charting a path where sometimes it seems none exists.

rochambeau said...

WOW!
What thoughts from a very rich and rare person!
So much to agree with I could write a book! You are a beauty Renee!

The thing that most popped out at me is this: Respect. I remember when I met my husband, I felt he respected himself, therefore he had the capacity to respect me and he does. Respect for people, life, our feelings. It is such a huge thing.

Thank you for this!

With love,
Constance

rochambeau said...

ps
I agree with Sonja and her daughter!!

Renee said...

Nadalene you are hillarious.

I remember it well.

har har har

Love Mom xoxoxo

A Cuban In London said...

Reading these snippets of your past in relation to some of your current posts gives me the sense of enjoying that which should be by right banned. I am delighting in a secret recipe the like of which will never be revealed and only the lucky ones (25 comments as I write) are able to devour.

Your May 2004 entry was one of the more poignant ones. Time with your family is a necessity and with your friends a luxury. If there's a phrase for that is that you have your priorities right. I must confess that I read your post twice even thought I did have a lump in my throat the second time. Your writing is beautiful. It truly is.

Many thanks.

Greetings from London.

Michelle said...

I love these little glimpses into you Renee.

And don't get me started on something and nothing!

:)

xxxx

angela recada said...

Hi Renee - me again. You asked if the first picture on my post for today was of me and my family. Yes, it is.
:0)
It's a picture of my mother, my uncle and me at my cousin's 3rd birthday party in Germany. I can still remember giggling until all my muscles ached because my uncle was being so silly.
:0)
xoxoxoxo
Angela

Ces Adorio said...

Aaaah! I can't even say I have done it more than ten times, okay, I take that back.

I love reading your sisters' and daughters' comments on your blog.

Ces Adorio said...

I said I take "ten times" back! HAhahah!

Heheheh!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're certainly a well-adjusted person. Kudos to you! I agree, appreciate the here and now and the little things.

Last week I had to fire the housekeeper because she kept canceling on me. I spent today, cleaning the house myself, and really appreciating what I've got. Just touching my belongings, and the detail of the more valuable items, really made me value my own home as being a place of sanctuary, and not just a building I flow in and out of.

PS - all is well with my brother. His brain surgery went well, but he had a long road of rehab ahead of him.

Kolleen said...

you amaze me! such beautiful, raw, real words! you inspire beyond what you could possibly imagine! xoxoxo

Marie S said...

I did see, I am so honored!
Bella and Ces are amazing.
A moment I will take with me in my heart forever. I still laugh out loud.
I want to blog like you when I grow up Renee!
Big Love and giant hugs hot stuff Mother Superior,
Marie

Sue said...

Renee, what a powerful and
meaningful post! You have such insight and wisdom and it seemed every other journal entry I was reading, felt so personal to me (as in yes! yes! I agree!).

And yes, you DO rock!

Hugs,

Marie S said...

As ces would say
"MWAH!"

TheChicGeek said...

Renee, you have had an amazing May and it is such a joy to know someone that truly appreciates life and all it's moments. I love when you said, "I have to remind myself that in a blink of the eye, time is gone and I can’t get it back." I remind myself of that one every day too. Time is gone in a blink...Let's live each and every moment to the best we can!
You are a very wise woman, Renee.
It is a pleasure to know you!
Have a Blessed Day!
xox
Kelly aka TheChicGeek

Unknown said...

i would love to spend a day in your head..
and spot on about the illusion of life.......the illusion of control over life...........

Michelle said...

Yes my sweet lady, I can feel it, thank you :)

Trouble with crying is you end up with a face full of snot!

Love you

xxx

linda cardina said...

dearest renee,

U ALWAYS AMAZE ME!!! ...and always leave me speechless. your journals are so insightful. thank u for sharing. u children will cherish these..wow.

it's been a long time since i have been blogging but i think about u a lot. just stopping by to give u a big hug and tell u i miss u!

((((hugs)))) linda

nollyposh said...

You are ~beautiful~ inside and out Renee <3 i love the way your mind works and the poetry of it's weaving... and your ~family~ is the reflection of your beautiful spirit *Kisses*

Anonymous said...

You have a gift for discernment, and clearly love and relationships with those you love have always ben at the top of your list?

Ces Adorio said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

RENEE!
RENEEEEEEE!

Hang on!

Hit the alligator with a stick! Don't just lie there like a duck - be a swan and fly away!

I agree. Sarah can make it an award , suggested it to her too and gave her options how she can distribute it. Since she is a teacher, you know I have this weakness for teachers, plus she is a terrific artist, I told her since I gave the Mental Ninja Award before I knew her, I did a special act to edit the original post and add her to the list of recipients so today she is also one of the Mental Ninjas!

Jeanne Estridge said...

I often think about how life looks so different looking back than looking forward.

And try to do less of both!

Ces Adorio said...

well, shoot yes! Wouldn't you sit on it?

Angels?! HAHAHAHAH!

Ces Adorio said...

These rocks rocks!
Not one sucks!
Even the ones pooped by ducks!
They are still fantastic rocks!

Ces Adorio said...

Aaaah! I've been burried in rocks all day and you, you! I completely missed your sly antics, your sexual innuendos! (In-you-Windows). Oh I am so slow...

Caroline said...

Wow...you put life into perspective... You have an amazing blog, I am honored to read all you write. Blessings to you!

Anonymous said...

Renee I find that what you say can so pertain to my life also.

What can I say?

But I hope to meet you (maybe this year...) don't worry I won't stay with you... : )

and

I love you
Pattee

angelique said...

I do love these entries even though sometimes they are hard to read. You really see how fast time flies when you read them and how 'innocent' they can be too.

Draffin Bears said...

You are a beautiful Renee and such a wonderful Lady.
I am glad that I have got to know you a little through your blog.

Wishing your days can be filled with love and happiness.
Thinking of you.

Hugs
Carolyn

Renee said...

Angelique it is so true. Time flies and I know you are wise enough to appreciate every moment with your sweet girl.

Can you believe that Josephine will be two in a week?

Love Mom xoxoxo

Ces Adorio said...

Har har Shabang!
I did not really get it at first. My brain is stoned...

Ces Adorio said...

Josephine rocks!
She will be a two ywar old rocker!
The Professor is nowhere. How dare she think there are more important things than blogging!

I miss her!

Ces Adorio said...

Okay Okay I got it.
But I was really stoned and did not have a retort!

I shall celebrate Josephine's birthday from now own.

Ces Adorio said...

I used stones as pumice for my feet when I was a little girl. Also for playing. I used to throw rocks in the field all the time.
I have four rocks - I lick them sometimes.

Marie S said...

I miss Bella too!!!

OMG! Renee!!! LOL!!! My husband wishes I had more experience! LOL!!



Happy Birthday little Josephine!!!

Ces Adorio said...

I saw Sarah's art and I read her comments here on your blog and I went to see her blog and was so surprised that she did not have the Renee Award, WHAT?! That was not right, I had to correct that!

Every Photo Tells A Story said...

En Contraire, my dear Renee. You are no simple simon. Only a woman who focuses on what's important.

I WAS preachy (my other half) and sometimes, enough is enough! At least I recognize, what I consider to be, my annoying egotistical self:)

I agree that everything is an illusion but love, and what we do with our love. The good love that is. The kind that doesn't force itself upon another being. The kind that is unconditional and accepting! Sorry to say this, but the kind of love that only a dog can give. Most people are incapable of that kind of love.

Ok, here she goes again(lol)

I will end this with a quote from the great Renee:

"Most importantly I would live in the moment by living my life consciously."

Love Nancy

Ces Adorio said...

She is so sweet. I am glad I made her happy today. She loves you.

Ces Adorio said...

OH MY GOD!
Robert's cousin gave me his rocks. He is a sculptor at Crazy Horse. I had to check them in because they were too heavy and may have been considered weapons. They had glitter. I think they are semi precious stones but they are huge!

I have a rock collection. Honest I do. I love rocks and stones.

Chrisy said...

Thank you for letting us read over your past mays...yes there's much smoke and mirrors in life...and we are left with the essence...the spirit that is pure love...
ps i often forget this..thank you for reminding me...

Marie S said...

I love rocks and stones too.
Collect them every where I go. What does that mean?

Ces Adorio said...

I try to have them in pairs, alas some have one huge one and the other small. Unbalanced.

Don't choke. I may have to do a Heimlich on you. Some people call it hind-lick.

Once I did a hindlick, I mean Heimlich on a man who choked on his meat while he was at the cafe. He was too big I could not grasp all of him. My friend and I had to do it together. I was on his back and she was on his front. His meat finally came out, oh gross. But we saved him from an ER visit even though he was already in the hospital.

Ces Adorio said...

Hahaha! Marie loves to get stoned!

Ces Adorio said...

What's so funny? The man was choking on a piece of meat he was eating. Sometimes it's hotdogs. Hot dogs are notorious for chocking people. I mean it seriously, also peanuts and other types of nuts.

Marie S said...

I believe you but, I am so glad I am not eating anything now. I can't breathe right now.

Ces Adorio said...

You will love this word.

Bella asked me to say it with her one day and I alsmost passed out - TUMESCENCE.

Say it slowly...

Ces Adorio said...

What!? Marie can't breath? What's wrong with her Renee? Did you give her some nuts?

Elizabeth said...

Wow.

I've always been partial to Ecclesiastes and "nothing is new under the sun" or "all is vanity"

You're such a beautiful person, and I'm grateful to read your thoughts.

Ces Adorio said...

tu·mes·cence (tōō-měs'əns, tyōō-)
n.

A swelling or enlarging.
A swollen condition.
A swollen part or organ.

Ces Adorio said...

Goodnight Renee. Thanks for playing...God Bless You my friend!

Marie S said...

Good Night Renee, it has been so fun. I will be laughing in my sleep.
Sleep tight and have a GREAT day tomorrow.
Love and huge hugs,
Marie

Bella Sinclair said...

Aw, man. You guys were rockin' hard last night, and I missed it! I laughed my ass off! Hahahahaha!

In all seriousness, though, you've written some beautiful truths here. And it's heartening to see that you found peace and happiness in your life, even years before your diagnosis. I want that. Did you get to go on your beautiful island vacation with the family?

Love, love, love.

Polly said...

Renee, thank you so much for sharing this list, it's absolutely wonderful and so full of wisdom. I've read it twice and I'm going to read it again now. You are a wonderful person. Thank you. Polly

A Spoonful Of Sugar said...

What words of wisdom Renee! I love how you give snap shots of your life over the years. It must be wonderful to have diaries to remind yourself of times past. Your family values are the same as mine - Time spent with family is a necessity. Have a great week!

Gberger said...

These are beautiful, valuable insights. You are so kind and generous to share them here. I think what you have written would be a good guide for anyone, in any situation, for living the fullest, best life possible. Thank you!

couragetocreatewriteandlove said...

you are wonderful!
HUGS!

GlorV1 said...

Thinking of you. Enjoy each day.
Happiness to you.

Woman in a Window said...

So much for me to learn from. Every ounce of it. Now erin, learn!

Thank you, Renee.

Deborah said...

Oh Renee, there are only reruns on TV tonight and I just can't miss a minute of you.

taylor said...

93 comments? no kidding- one of my favorite blogs!

you are brilliant. The way you form stories into journals/words is an art! I love what you have to say; you teach me so much, for that, I thank you.

Love always,
Taylor
xoxo

ps. my word verification word is "chees" almost like cheese; my favorite/mini nickname. Fate for my favorite writing.