Taking Care Of Business No. 2

Nathan is watching me climb out of a town car limousine at 1:00 on a Friday afternoon. He says ‘Who the heck dropped you off Mom?’ I tell him Lynette from Desjardins (the funeral home). He laughs and says ‘Oh God.’

Anyway, Friday afternoon I spent at Desjardins Funeral Home. I am always fine-tuning my funeral arrangements so that it will be less work for my family when the time comes.

This is my third time going as I went in May last year. I plan on making this an annual event just to fine-tune and also to get use to the place. The first year I went I felt choked, the second year it felt more like business and this year it felt like I was just renegotiating what I want in my living room with an interior decorator.

Although it is Nadalene who originally wanted me to set up my funeral, I really feel now that everyone should do it and honestly it is just something that needs to be done.

The funny thing is that the more I go and the more I know, the more I realize I can more or less do what I want. I also feel that at the time of my death Lynette will see me as a person not just a body.

I will share with you what went down this year.

Lynette and I go over all the details of what I want and switch up a few little things here and there. I tell her that I have bought a cemetery plot at St. Boniface Catholic Cemetery on Archibald and give her all the details. Tell her that I have also prepaid for the opening and closing of the plot.

We talk a little more about the urns and I tell her I want to check out the new ones they have this year as I am looking more for a box type.

We go down to the casket room again and I honestly don’t know why they have the caskets so crowded in that room. They are jam-packed with their quilted lining that gives me the creeps. I ask her if they have samples of the cardboard box that I want for cremation and she says no, just the wooden one for $740. The one I want is $15 and she tells me that it just is really a long cardboard box that looks similar to what a fridge would come in. I ask her if it has Kenmore stamped on the side and we both laugh.

The first year I thought I would want a niche in the wall and was told I couldn’t have a wooden urn because they dissolve and the cemetery doesn’t allow that. Last year I thought I would want a bio-degradable urn, but this year I decided against the bio-degradable as it looks like a white cotton cardboard box that you would take leftovers in from a restaurant and I don’t want that sitting in the church. It looks cheap when really it is more expensive than the wooden urns. I did like one wooden urn but am thinking I want to talk to the cemetery place and see if I just can’t have a nice wooden box that isn’t $500. I prefer what Karin made for her companion Zach.

I really like the idea of dust to dust; ashes to ashes.

I am only there for about an hour.

Costs of a funeral:

Arrangements: $840 (2007); $940 (2008 and 2009)

Transfer of body from hospital: $215 (2007); $265 (2008 and 2009)

Staff (four people): $495 (2007, 2008, and 2009)

Preparation for identification: $220 (2007 and 2008); $395 (2009). I ask why such a big hike and the answer was so lame that I don’t even remember it.

Basic facility: $295 (2007); $195 (2008 and 2009)

Cremation fee: $460 (2007); $485 (2008); $495 (2009)

Lead car (for priest, flowers, urn, etc): $125 (2007, 2008, 2009)

Limousine for family: $225 (2007, 2008, 2009)

Casket for cremation: $760 pressed board (2007); $15 for cardboard (2008 and 2009)

Urn: $760 for pewter (2007); $435 for bio-degradable (2008); $415 for wooden urn (2009)

*Memorial cards: $1.75 per card (2007 and 2008); $2.00 per card (2009) $600

Guest book, 50 thank you cards, and crucifix: $195 now no longer want from Desjardins and will buy on our own.

Luncheon sandwiches: $10 per person ($3,000) now no longer want from Desjardins, Mickey will get from that place in Steinbach.

Luncheon tea and coffee: $1.50 per person then $1.75 per person ($425) now no longer want from Desjardins, Mickey will get from that place in Steinbach.

Two hostesses: $250 now no longer want from Desjardins, Mickey will get from that place in Steinbach.

*Based on 300 people.

The funeral based on around 300 people attending would be about $4,165. Not including taxes, church costs, priest, death certificates, food and catering, other papers needed or cemetery costs.

After the meeting I ask Lynette to use the phone and she asks me if I am phoning to be picked up. When I tell her yes, she tells me she is going right by my place and can drop me off.

Just before exiting she tells me how great it is to see me again and how she is happy when she sees me. I tell her that I like to see her too, but hopefully if I see her before next year it will be socially and not business.

Some things I still know for sure:

Do not want to die at home.
Cremation cardboard box of $15 (do not upgrade this).
No public viewing.
Full Catholic Mass at Holy Family Church (incense and holy water).

I wrote this a week before Sheldon died; little did I know that I would be seeing Lynette again nine days later with Ben and Jennifer.

On The Third Day

On the third day we buried dad.

My Father has always been so proud of all of his children. I know that he would even be prouder if he saw how we all came together to honour him and bring him to his final resting place.

When Jacquie and I went up to the hospital and my brother Harry was leaving to go see my Mom, I saw him put his hand on our Dad’s shoulder and say that he would take good care of him. And he did. We all did.

The day my Dad died I stayed home; I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t want to be with anyone. There were too many words floating around in the room and I just needed some silence.

I felt had I gone anywhere I would have blown a gasket. All the words I hold on to seemed as though they were being bastardized as they were spoken over and over. I understand all these words that comfort you; I have said them to myself for almost three years. I knew they were new to other people and had to be spoken of. I knew it was just me being angry.

When I was talking to Nadalene she said ‘Now you will see all the multi-dimensional personalities come out. Just remember that it is not about you or anyone else or you or anyone else’s ego. It is about Grandpa.’ This made me remember that everyone was doing the best they can at any given time. It also helped me to let go of my ego.

I really wasn’t there for a lot of the planning. I wanted to back off as I know I have a forceful personality and since I am planning my own funeral, I didn’t want to push my ideas onto anybody else.

Harry, Dwain, Colette and Shelly went to the funeral home and handled all of the affairs that entails. I believe Colette and Dwain picked out the burial site which is beautiful. It is by a road, across from the veterans’ wall, across from where my Mom will be, and across from a pond. It is right under some trees and it is beautiful.

Mickey took care of the food. Joey did the eulogy, power point, and posters. I did the obituary. Jeannine, Suzie and Daisy, Camille and Stacy, Jacquie and Ben, Corinna, Gerry, Lisa, Quinn and Gabby hung out with Mom and kept her company.

And everyone did so many things and handled so many details that I don’t know who did what or when. It was a collaborative effort by all of us and I am so proud of all of us.

I do know that Harry would recap with all of us at the end of the day to make sure we knew what exactly was going on. For that I was thankful, because it is so important.

On the day Dad died Harry, Shelly, and Colette stopped over and at one point we were discussing the grandchildren that would play a role at the funeral and of course how everyone would want their children because we all felt that Dad had a special relationship with each of them (which of course he did).

There were only nine spots and then I mentioned that at my funeral I was going to have my family (as in nephews and nieces) do everything (it is important to me that my family buries me). When we discussed all the things they could do, such as ushers, guest book, cards, flowers, readings, pall-bearers, we realized that we had about 25 spots.

I also mentioned that at my funeral I wanted to have a family procession going into the church. They seemed to like the idea and so that is what we did.

We had a private family viewing of Dad (I thought he looked really good) and then when people were starting to arrive, we all went to the church basement and watched the power point presentation Joey made. When it was time to go upstairs we followed in this order. Mom, Harry, and Jeannine followed by the rest of Dad’s children and their spouses; then the pall-bearers; and then all of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. There were about 120 of us and I have heard that it was unbelievable to see us all come in.

My Dad would have loved it. He always took great pride in the sheer number of us.

My youngest brother Joey did such a phenomenal job. He made a power point presentation; posters of Dad for the walls; and he did the eulogy. He sure did not only my Dad proud but the rest of us too.

After the funeral, the family went straight to the cemetery at Glen Lawn and when we laid Dad to rest we put the red roses from the church on the coffin and Nadalene had bought more coloured roses and we put those on the coffin too.

The cemetery was almost my favourite part because it was so special to see Dad surrounded by only his family. There were so many of us that it was hard to believe. We were a ring around Dad and it was a lovely sight.

Mom was not coming back to the luncheon and to meet with people so when everyone left they all went up to Mom and hugged her and it breaks me up now to write this because it was as if she was a queen (well, she is our queen) and all of her subjects were bending down to hug and kiss her and this process took a long while.

Mom, Camille and Jacquie went back to Mom’s house and the rest of us went back to the hall for the luncheon and to meet with all the people that came to pay their last respects to our Dad.

And this all took place on the third day.

Last Days

Thursday, September 25th Dad went into the hospital and he stayed there until his death on Tuesday, September 30th. So many things happened over those six days that to be honest, I don’t really remember them all.

Some of the things that I do remember, and are at the top of my list are:

The Sunday before Dad died, he gave each of his children and grandchildren (include all spouses here as to him they also were his children) the most wonderful gift. He spoke to every individual and told us all something special about each and every one of us. At this time Dad was having oxygen (I don’t remember if at this time it was through the nose or if the mask was on) and you were able to see how hard he was working at letting each person know how much they meant to him. To each and every one of us it was a gift that could only be received by the person he spoke to.

I don’t know what he said really to each person and I don’t even remember what he said to my children (I will have to ask them and replay that over in my head later. The whispers of what he said to my children and to my siblings will be a gift for me later on). But I do remember what he said to Wahid and I forgot that he even said anything to me, until Nathan reminded me of what he said. I don’t understand how I could have forgotten.

He called for Wahid in the room and when Wahid was holding Dad’s hand he said “Wahid, you are one of the nicest men I have ever known. I have a very high opinion of you, and I know that you have a high opinion of me.”

While I was holding Dad’s hand he told me “Lover, I am glad that I am dying before you. I will make a place for you and your Mom in Heaven.”

This gift went on and on and on for everyone in the room and so he was getting tired out. It was pure force of will and love that kept him going I’m sure.

My Dad, like most sane people, did not like pain. The things we all knew for sure were that he did not want pain; he did not want to die alone; and he did want someone to hold his hand.

When Dad had pain it was mostly his leg (cancer in the bones) and also when he had to go pee. His bladder had cancer and was enlarged and so it was very painful to pee. He would say piss and pecker and I hated those words. Now, I say them to myself all day long. When my Dad was sleeping and we thought he wasn’t going to wake up on Sunday, I said if only I could hear him say piss one more time and just like my Dad who never disappointed he woke up and said “piss.”

The poor nurses had about 50 people telling them he was in pain and we need meds NOW. He dozed some more.

As for dying alone, there would be no chance of that. And as far as holding his hand, well, all I can say is that almost at all times his hands were held, his brow was being eased, his head was being kissed, his ankles were being held, and there were many many bodies pressing up against him.

We all prayed and we all kissed him and we all loved him and we all thanked him for all the love he gave us.

Mickey asked us all to hold hands and she said a beautiful prayer thanking God for this man our Father (maybe I can get her to write it down and share it with you all).

Harry told us all such wonderful stories about Dad when the older kids were growing up and we lived in The Pas. Jacquie and I were born there. You’ve heard of Angela’s ashes, well this was Harry’s ashes. As he would have been under 10 years old and Dad worked on the train and I was the baby of eight children. They had a cow and no electricity and my Dad made a windmill to get wind power and Harry singed his eyebrows off trying to get the furnace to work while a blizzard raged outside. We laughed and adored him (my kids love Uncle Harry) and he talked so that my Dad could hear.

We left Mom with Dad and she told him not to leave her. He was not to go anywhere. She needed him here.

Some people went home and some people stayed. I tried to stay, but I just wasn’t strong enough, I had the will though Dad. I wanted too. Others were stronger and they stayed.

I think he did hear Mom and Harry because when I went the next morning people said he ate breakfast and talked about the stories too. I wish I was there.

He listened to Mom and Harry the night before and didn’t break our hearts yet.

At any given time (unless someone wanted alone time with Dad) these were the people in the room:

Harry, Jeannine, Jamie
Dwain, Erika, Dwain, Harry
Suzie, Peter, Toni, Donnie, Daisy (Daisy Nightingale)
Mickey, Gord, Gordie, Dane, Anders, Taylor
Camille and Stacy
Jacquie, Gil, Ben, Chrissy, Sheldon
Renee, Wahid, Angelique, Don, Nadalene, Charlton, Nathan
Colette, Rick, Ricky
Shelly, Peter, Natalie, John, Pete, Mat
Joey, Monique, Curtis, Alex
Auntie Renee and Claudette (Dad’s sister and niece)

Nadalene told me and I told Grandpa “There is enough love in this room to take you straight to Heaven.”

Later on Monday, Dad slept more and woke only if in pain. He got more medicine and slept more. At one point while we were all holding him he sprang up into a sitting position and he looked terrified. My Mom jumped up at the same time and comforted him and told him it was okay and as she talked, he completely calmed down.

I thought he might die right then and noticed Shelly was no longer in the room. I asked “Where is Shelly? We need to get her.” At that point Mom said I shouldn’t have said that because then I scared her so she told us all to leave the room except Joey.

Joey and Mom stayed in the room and Mom told Dad “You can leave me now Harry, go to the light, go see Peter and Pauline and your Mom and Dad.” Then Mom said “Jesus Christ Joey, don’t you know any dead people?” Joey stumped said “and you will see all your pets.” Mom said “Get Renee.”

I rushed in the room and Mom said “Oh Renee, I just want him to go now. I don’t want him to suffer. He looked so scared, didn’t he?” I said “Yes, he looked scared Mom. And he is trying to go Mom, but he is just storing up his energy and resting before he has to leave this life and all the people in it he loves. He just doesn’t want to leave you Mom, but he will. It is just a very hard thing to separate from all the people he loves.” We then told everyone else to come in.

Mickey had her friend come in and sing at 10:30 at night. Lisa sings like an angel and sang Amazing Grace and a song that she wrote for her sons. It was so beautiful and we all couldn’t thank her enough.

I went home along with others. Others stayed.

I woke up at 1:53 on Sunday morning and lied in bed. Nathan opened my door a little while later and I said “Grandpa died?” He thought so and told me Auntie Suzie is on the phone.

I don’t know what time my Dad died, I will have to find that out.

Harry, Jeannine, Suzie and Camille were there when Dad took his last breath. I hope that while they were thinking he’s gone, there were others saying here he comes.

Jacquie and I went back up to the hospital and met Shelly. Harry, Jeannine, Suzie, Daisy, Camille, Mickey and Gord were all there. My Mom wanted to see them so they all went to her house and Jacquie and I stayed for about ½ an hour and prayed.

One of the most difficult things I have ever had to do was leave my Dad in that room. I still find it very hard that I left him there.

If you think you know how much we love our Dad. You don’t know.

Good Night Dad. God Bless You.

I wrote my Dad's obituary today. One of the hardest parts about it is that I had to keep it short so I was unable to go on and on and on about him.

Henri (Harry) Joseph Fernand Ste. Marie

January 30, 1926 – September 30, 2008

It is with deep sadness that we who loved him most announce the passing of our husband and our father.

Harry is survived by his wife and companion of 63 years Daisy whom he met as a wee lass in a dancehall in Aberdeen, Scotland where he was a leading air craftsman in the Royal Canadian Air Force.

Harry is predeceased by his children Peter and Pauline, his parents Camille and Renee Ste. Marie, and his sister-in-law Elsie McDonald.

Harry is survived by his children that he loved and admired so much: Harry (Jeannine); Kathy (Ernie); Dwain (Erika); Suzie (Peter); Mickey (Gord); Camille (Jim); Jacquie (Gil); Renee (Nizam); Colette (Rick); Lori (Mike); Gerry (Lisa); Shelly (Peter); Joey (Monique); 61 grand, great-grand, and great-great grandchildren. He also leaves to mourn his sister Renee.

Harry raised his children in a loving and happy home; one where his children were just as proud to say that they were his children as he was to say that he was their father. Good Night Dad. God Bless You.

Funeral service will be held on October 3, 2008 at 1:30 p.m. (with a viewing ½ hour prior) at Holy Family Parish located at 778 Archibald Street.

Glen Lawn Funeral Home 982-7550.

Caroline and John and all of you gamers we want to thank you for all your love and support. You all meant so much to Dad. As he isn't here to say Good Night, God Bless You to all of you I will say it for him.

Section L Bloc 8 No. 435

During the time I was getting chemo last Fall, I thought I should hop in the car and go check out the cemeteries around here. I knew the route I would take. Start with the one on Lagimodiere, then hit the one on Fermor and save the St. Boniface one on Archibald for last.

So if you’re willing to come to the lands of the dead with me please buckle up; I wouldn’t want you to get hit by the proverbial bus.

Evangelical Disney Land

You want it, they’ve got it. Bible; Jesus; sheep; praying hands; and even Filipino gardens. I mentioned that I didn’t quite understand the Filipino gardens; as in, was there earth there brought in from the Philippines? No there was not. It is just for Filipino people and their spouses. Honestly I don’t get it, unless we are buying segregation to the maximum.

Talked to the cemetery office and although the lady was very nice and even offered me a ride in her golf cart to see all the many garden sections of this land, I had to refuse because I had seen enough to know that this would not be the land of the dead for me.

Prices for plots were all over the map considering what choice piece of real-estate you were interested in. For example, to be by trees, water, or the road were considered prime.

Since I am only interested in an upright headstone plot I will quote on this. Plot was $1395 (discount of 200 if you preordered monument – yes they made the monuments there) and would fit either one coffin and two urns or three urns. If you were interested in two coffins in a double depth plot of course it was more (I am not interested so did not ask).

Opening and closing fees are $695 for coffin and $340 for urn.

I was also told that there is a 30% fee included in the price of $1395 for perpetual care of the site. I was surprised I wasn’t frisked for any change I may have had on me at the time.

Wasteland

Now what can be said about a wasteland? It is empty.

No character, basically a field.

The man I dealt with was very soft spoken; he barely spoke above a whisper. I think it was because he did not want to wake anyone up from their naps in the garden. It seemed to be a hush-hush business. He did ask if I had family or friends there when I asked the prices of the plot, I told him no, but did that make a difference in the price? He told me no it didn’t. He asked me no more questions after that.

Prices of plots vary from $1500 to $2000, but if you want a foundation for a monument it is $2500. The man I spoke to told me that the $1500 was for the new gardens and $2000 for the older gardens. The most expensive garden was $2500 because it had the foundation poured. The garden could only fit one coffin and one urn or two urns.

Opening and closing fees were $645 for a coffin and $245 for an urn. At this point in our conversation I was also told that there is a four part process to the coffin. Okay, I’ll bite. Step one – buying coffin. Step two -- opening and closing fee $645. Step three – liner or vault for coffin required in this cemetery and it is $845 and up. Step four – bronze marker on site would start at $1900 and if you want a monument it would also start at $1900 (surprise they make the markers and monuments there too).

Familiar Land

I have been familiar with this graveyard forever. My grandfather (Camille Ste. Marie) who died before I was born is buried here. I moved into Windsor Park when I was nine years old and the cemetery is basically located at the end of the street I grew up on. My Nana (Renee Ste. Marie) is also buried here.

Of course I wish my parents (who are not dead) would be buried there as well, but they will be buried at the Evangelical Disney Land.

This cemetery has old headstones since the beginning of times in St. Boniface. I remember one in particular from when I was a child and it is a tall headstone with a guardian angel on it and there are about four small children from one family who died and are buried there from 1811 or so. I would have to find the headstone again to be exactly certain.

When I first went there I thought that the cemetery was full. Much to my delight (yes, delight) there were some new sections that had been opened. Many of the sections are reserved for the nuns and priests, but there were more that had recently been opened. There was Bloc 5 which is located by the house on Archibald and there was Bloc 8 in Section L which is located by a big cross.

Wahid and I had gone to look at it while he was on holidays and we decided that it was as good a place as any to end up in. (If I was having a contest and you guessed that Wahid really did not want to be there, you would win.)

I then took Angelique and Josephine and Jacquie to see it and we all really liked it. Josephine was running around on the grass and foundation having a merry old time.

Nadalene (the brat) went and looked at it herself and she also liked it. Nathan does not want to see it at this point.

The real-estate that I purchased was right by a row of trees with a small road behind them. I bought Section L Bloc 8 No. 435. There will be no one buried behind me.

What was kind of fun was that when I told some of my family I had bought it, I laughed because when I said it was a new section and no one had bought there yet, Nadalene proceeded to buy the lot on one side of me and Jacquie bought the lot on the other side of me. Angelique wants some of her ashes placed on it and Camille does too.

The cemetery office is located at the St. Boniface Basilica and the man I dealt with was exactly like I wanted him to be. I really appreciated the fact that he was not made up of cheese or smoke. I also found it refreshing that he did not treat death as though it were a taboo subject. I was more than thrilled that he called a plot a plot and not a garden. After all, I was there to buy a plot not a garden. He was just like the Catholic Church; sit, stand, genuflect, make the sign of the cross, reverent, low-key, exit without having to make eye contact or talk to anyone else.

The price of the plot with a foundation for a headstone was $995. The plot could hold one coffin and two urns or four urns (in one case one more urn for my buck and in the other case two).

The opening and closing fees are $375 for a coffin and $225 for an urn.

I repeated this journey yesterday, first with Jacquie (who drives slower than molasses) and then with my Dad.

Jacquie and my visit were non-eventful and took less than 30 minutes. My visit with my Dad on the other hand was wonderful and took almost two hours.

I have to say that this time around I thought something a little different about each land of the dead.

Evangelical Disney Land – beautiful veteran’s wall with my Dad’s name engraved (Henri Ste. Marie LAC). Dad was really happy to see it because he had not seen it before. It is a big granite wall and there is a Canadian Flag and some flowers. I loved it and while Dad sat in the car, I pointed out his name, kissed it with my fingers, and gave it a salute. It was fun. Of course I was saluting a man that I love and not really his service, more than anything I was saluting him as my father. Also this land was very well kept (don’t forget 30% of your fee for your plot covers that).

Wasteland - really next to no monuments, but lots of markers. This land too was really well kept and like Marcie and Travis said, it was peaceful. They also had a beautiful mausoleum there as well.

Familiar Land - I kidnapped Dad and showed him my site and he really liked it too. He loves this cemetery too. We went and saw where his parents are buried and Dad got out of the car and prayed. It was really touching.

I told Dad that we were more lively and having fun in the cemeteries than we were when we just sat and talked. We both laughed.

By the way, I guess it is never too late to increase your vocabulary. Have you ever heard the word Inhumation? I never did. If someone had tried to use it in our scrabble games I would have protested. Well, inhumation means to bury a dead body.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.
Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality.
Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

~~ Lao-Tse ~~

Taking Care Of Business

Talking to Angelique on the phone Monday morning and I tell her where I was earlier.  Nathan walks by and says “Mom next time it is a beautiful day, why don’t you go for a walk in the park instead of sitting all morning in a funeral home.”  Angelique on the phone hears and says “No shit.”  We all burst out laughing.

Anyway, Monday morning I spent at Desjardins Funeral Home.  I am preparing funeral arrangements so that it will be less work for my family.

This is my second time going as I went in May last year.  I plan to make this an annual event, just too fine tune and also to get use to the place.  Last year when I went I felt a little chocked.  This year it felt much more like business and really just something that needs to be done.

There are already different things I found out this year than I knew last year.  For example I found out from my friend Flo that I can get a cremation box (cardboard) for $15 whereas last year they told me the cheapest one was $740 (pressboard).

I will share with you what I learned.

Flashback May, 2007

I get Jacquie to drop me off at Desjardins because I have an appointment with the funeral director for 9 a.m.  She does not want me to go alone, but that is the only way I am going.

When I first entered it was still dark and there was no one around.  I peek in doorways and all of a sudden a lady comes out who has to bend in the doorway because she is about 7 feet tall.  Scared the shit out of me.  She is the funeral director and her name is Lynette.

We start the meeting and talked about why I am there.  I felt a little teary when I said I was there for myself, but I reminded myself that I was just taking care of business and got my self together.  I had also met with the priest previously, so I knew what I wanted done.

She takes me downstairs and we enter the casket room.  For some reason I still thought the caskets would be a little further into the room but they are jam-packed in the room, right at the entrance.  It gave me the creeps because I always hated that quilted lining in a casket.

I see the cremation caskets and I also look at the urns.  At the time I thought I might want a niche in the wall so she said that you can’t have a wooden urn because they dissolve and the cemetery doesn’t allow that.  But now I know I don’t want to be in a wall, so I am looking at a bio-degradable urn or a wooden one so that it can rot and I will be ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I am there for about three hours.

Flash Forward May 5, 2008

Meet with Lynette for 9 a.m.  More relaxed this time around and we go through the papers and I ask my questions.  I even got a beautiful pen out of the deal which apparently is a prize for the family when they are grieving.

Costs of a funeral:

Arrangements: $840 now is $940

Transfer of body from hospital: $215 now is $265

Staff (four people): $495

Preparation for identification: $220

Basic facility: $295 now is $195 (actually went down)

Cremation fee: $460 now is $485

Lead car (for priest, flowers, urn, etc): $125

Limousine for family: $225

Casket for cremation: $760 pressed board now is $15 for cardboard

Urn: $760 for pewter now is $460 for wood (not sure on amount of biodegradable box)

Guest book, 50 thank you cards, and crucifix: $195

*Memorial cards: $1.75 per card ($425)

*Luncheon sandwiches: $10 per person ($3,000) heard other places charge $5 per person

*Luncheon tea and coffee: $1.50 per person now $1.75 per person ($425)

Two hostesses: $250

*Based on 300 people.

Burying someone is an expensive endeavour.  The funeral based on around 300 people attending would be about $7,720.  Not including taxes, church costs, priest, death certificates, other papers needed, or cemetery costs.

Looks like I should have worked harder in the salt mines and earned more money.

The cemetery is a whole other matter too.  I went to the ones in my area last year and I am going to revisit in a few weeks.

Some things I know for sure at this point:

Do not want to die at home.
Rosary said in hospital room after I die or while I am dying.
Cremation with $15 cardboard box (do not upgrade this).
No public viewing.
Funeral at Holy Family Church (full mass with incense and holy water).

Lots and lots to do in preparation for a funeral that I hope I won’t be attending for years and years and years and years.