Superstitious

Do you touch wood for reassurance, just to be on the safe side? I did for a long time. I would say knock on wood or touch wood and then proceed to do it. At one point Robbie’s wife Eva even made me a wooden ring. It broke from wear. I don’t know how that has fallen to the wayside, maybe I realized wood wasn’t going to save me.

Do you make sure not to place your newly bought shoes on a table? Absolutely, new shoes, old shoes, baby shoes, slippers, anything worn on your feet. That is the one superstition I was raised on ‘Never put shoes on the table it is bad luck.’ If I even see shoes on a table that someone else has put on there I will take them off.

Do you cover mirrors in a thunderstorm? Now this one I don’t do and actually have never heard of it.

Do you let the other person come down the stairs first before you go up, so that you don’t cross on the stairs? No, and I never knew this was a superstition either. Funny how this one seems weird and yet shoes on a table are almost criminal.

Do you open the front and back doors on December 31st to let the New Year in and the old one out? No but I somehow remember my Mom talking about this. Also that it was good luck to bring a lump of coal to someone’s home on New Year’s Eve so they would be warm. We also heard that it was lucky to have someone with black hair or dark skin come to your house (I guess they were to symbolize coal and that you would stay warm.)

Do you say if this happens than that will happen? Yes, before Christmas when feeling like a total bag of shit I was rolling around in bed. I kept moving the covers and said if I happen to break the angel that Jacquie gave me on my side table then I will be dead in six months. I flip the blanket and move my walrus body and sure enough I hear the angel fall. I decide not to look and just assume it broke and that I will be dead soon. Get up in the morning and the angel has lost her head and half of a wing. Josephine is over and sees the angel and tells me ‘Grandma don’t worry, Grandpa will fix it.’ So she brought it to Grandpa who fixed it as good as new. If only I could be fixed as easily.

BLD No. 13

Time for a game of Christmas trivia, yes Mickey you and I are partners.

Questions:

In the Polar Express movie, what is the first gift of Christmas?

What is the name of the rabbit in the magic hat in Frosty the Snowman?

How much did Lucy charge for a psychiatric session in the classic Christmas TV special ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas?’

What was the most likely reason that The Grinch hated Christmas?

What was the name of the angel in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life?’

Answers:

A bell from Santa’s sleigh.

Hocus Pocus.

5 cents please.

His heart was two sizes too small.

Clarence

http://circlingmyhead.blogspot.com/2008/12/b-l-d-no-16.html

*artwork B by Terri Murphy and L by Christian Birmingham

50s Housewife Quiz No. 6

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

All together gang. ‘I’m all ears.’

This is how it went down in the Khan household.

I hear what Wahid says, but that doesn’t mean I listen to him. When the kids were little and we were running like chickens with our heads cut off after work, Wahid could be talking and you would hear me from any room in the house yelling ‘yeah’ ‘what’ ‘can’t hear you’ etc.

Usually what would happen as soon as I heard the door open I would be talking about what had to be done. Now I sit on the couch with the heating pad behind my back and Wahid opens the door, comes around the corner and says ‘Hi Dearest.’ I say ‘How was work?’ Wahid tells me and I really do listen.

However saying that, if Nathan comes in with Wahid which he usually does as they carpool, I am much more anxious to hear about the kids at school and what they did and if it was fun, etc. Poor Wahid on the backburner again.

If I have something important to tell Wahid believe me he is going to hear it when he gets in the door. That is why it is called ‘important’. It has more import than hearing what the price of eggs is in China.

If I waited for Wahid to talk first I would wait forever. Beyond the initial ‘Hi Dearest’ it is quiet and so instead he listens to me yap and usually smiles and laughs. Wahid’s conversations are rarely more important than mine. Equally as important, yes, but rarely more important.

Listen to him (Failed). You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time (Failed, if I have something important to say it is going to be said). Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours (Failed because neither of our topics of conversation are usually important).

A To Z = Me

A = Age (53 years old)
B = Bed size (Queen)
C = Chore you hate (cleaning a turkey pan)
D = Dog (unfortunately do not have one)
E = Essential to start your day (cancer medications)
F = Favourite colour (butter yellow)
G = Gold (wedding rings)
H = Height (5 feet)
I = I’ve come to learn (love)
J = Judge (there but for the grace of God go I)
K = Kids (Angelique, Nadalene, and Nathan)
L = Living (the best way I can)
M = Mood (angry)
N = Nicknames (Lover and Pudd)
O = Owl (family totem)
P = Peeve (ingratitude)
Q = Quote (There are many paths to the same God.)
R = Reckless (never)
S = Siblings (eight sisters and four brothers)
T = Time you wake up (7:20)
U = Unhappy (less often than happy)
V = Vegetable you ate last (green beans and tomato)
W = Want (Jacquie to regain motion)
X = Xenophobic (no way)
Y = Yearn (to have a conversation with Sheldon)
Z = Zealous (over my family)

50s Housewife Quiz No. 5

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

All together gang. ‘I’ll get right on it.’

This is how it went down in the Khan household.

Manitoba only has about two hot months then many cool months followed by many more freezing months. We do have a fireplace in which we actually have started fires but we probably have not used it in 20 years because I am afraid the house will burn down. I am afraid to start the barbeque never mind a fireplace. So you know, if it wasn’t for my irrational fear of the house blowing up I would be right on it.

When Wahid gets home from work I think he feels that he has reached a haven. We are here and he always loves that. He can rest here and be truly himself. Our haven may not have order but it certainly has rest. And you know what I do get a lift when he comes home.

Catering to Wahid’s comfort would never provide me with immense personal satisfaction. It would never give me immense personal satisfaction if he was catering to my comfort either. What does give us both immense personal satisfaction is our love and respect that we hold for each other.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by (Failed due to irrational fear of fire). Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too (Passed, our home is a haven). After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction (Failed, catering to anyone would never give me satisfaction).

50s Housewife Quiz No. 4

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables.

All together gang. ‘Not happening.’

This is how it went down in the Khan household.

For me clearing away the clutter has always gone hand in hand with Wahid cooking supper. As he cooks, I usually clear the clutter. It takes him an hour to cook and me three minutes to clear clutter. I think all things are equal. After we ate when the kids were small I would clear more supper clutter to the tune of 15 minutes.

Now the clutter is picked up by the cleaning lady once every two weeks and dumped on the dining room table where I put it away or make piles out of it for Wahid and Nathan to put away. Dinner clutter is now put away by everyone who eats. It is a total joint effort.

One last trip through the house before Wahid arrives so that I can see the same mess I saw five hours ago when he wasn’t even close to arriving – no thank you. The only time I take a trip through my house before someone arrives is if I am having a party, and we all know that doesn’t happen often.

Now dusting tables is a strange one. I actually love polishing the tables, but only the tops of them. I need to get Wahid to go buy some furniture polish.

Clear away the clutter (Passed and semi-passed). Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives (Failed miserably on this one and happy to do so. My husband has never been a house Nazi). Run a dust cloth over the tables (Passed).

Friday The 13th

Okay everyone give it up for Friday the 13th. I got 4 out of 13 questions right. Let’s see how you do.

*What is the fear of Friday the 13th called?

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Triskaidekaphobia

Tropophobia

Phengophobia

*Who directed the classic 1980 horror film Friday the 13th?

Sean S. Cunningham

Gun Jonsson

Martin Scorsese

Francis Ford Coppola

*Which politician was known to put off traveling by air or road on Friday the 13th?

Winston Churchill

Aneurin Bevan

Pitt the Younger

Clement Attlee

*Friday the 13th is said to be lucky for some. Who?

People born on Friday the 13th.

People who have psychic powers.

People who live at number 13.

People who find love on Friday the 13th.

*Which of the following events took place on Friday the 13th?

Karl Marx died.

A plane crashed in the Andes, and the survivors were forced to resort to cannibalism to survive.

Margaret Thatcher resigned.

The racehorse Shergar was kidnapped.

*What was discovered in a study published in the British Medical Journal in 1993 concerning Friday the 13th?

The risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52%.

The number of hospital admissions due to accidents was on average the same as on other Fridays.

More people drive on Friday the 13th in order to disprove the superstition.

Fewer than 5m people worldwide suffer from fear of Friday the 13th.

*What happened to Wall Street in the last five Friday the 13ths of the 1990s?

Half of all companies stopped trading.

The stock marked crashed.

A major investment group went bankrupt.

Share prices rose.

*What will members of the Friday the 13th club be doing when they meet in Philadelphia today?

Breaking mirrors, walking under ladders and crossing the paths of black cats.

Hiding under the table.

Assuring each other it is already Saturday the 14th.

Throwing salt over their left shoulders.

*Why did Lloyds of London stop insuring ships launched on Friday the 13th?

The day was made a statutory holiday for all members in 1865.

HMS Friday, captained by a man called Friday, disappeared soon after its launch.

The coffee shop where Lloyds originally met called Fridays burned down in its 13th year.

They all sank.

*When is Friday the 13th considered especially unlucky?

On a Good Friday

During the plague

Close to a full moon

When it snows

*Which country has omitted the number 13 from its national lottery?

Switzerland

Italy

America

Iceland

*What would French socialites known as quatorziens (fourteeners) attend, to bring the number of guests to 14 and prevent bad luck tainting an event?

Weddings

Birthdays

Dinner Parties

Funerals

*Who has predicted the world will end on Friday the 13th?

Nostradamus

Mystic Meg

The Mayans

The Delphic Sibyl


Answers

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Sean S. Cunningham

Winston Churchill

People born on the 13th

A plane crashed in the Andes, and the survivors were forced to resort to cannibalism to survive.

The risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52%.

Share prices rose.

Breaking mirrors, walking under ladders and crossing the paths of black cats.

HMS Friday, captained by a man called Friday, disappeared soon after its launch.

On a Good Friday.

Italy

Dinner Parties

The Mayans

50s Housewife Quiz No. 3

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

All together gang. ‘Get real.’

This is how it went down in the Khan household.

Wahid hit the jackpot on this one. Seriously! I have always been gay and I personally think I am very interesting. One of the best parts about our marriage too, is that Wahid is always really interested in what I am saying and thinking. Actually, maybe it was me who hit the jackpot.

Early in the marriage I had small babies and was breast feeding them, I did not have energy or any interest in breastfeeding him too. So, if his day needed a lift, he would have to lift it himself. Later when the kids were older and I worked full time, I never had energy to worry about his boring day.

I do not have and never had a duty to make his life for him or to make his boring days less boring. However, now that we are older and I see him come home tired from a very physical job it is my pleasure to show my interest in his day. I do it, truth be told, not because I am interested in his day, but because I am interested in him.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him (Passed). His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it (Failed when it would have been a duty. Passed now that it is a privilege.)

50s Housewife Quiz No. 2

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

All together gang. ‘Yeah, right.’

This is how it went down in the Khan household.

The only time I ever prepared myself is if I was going to work or out for the day. It consisted of putting on blush, eye shadow, and mascara. Said and done in approximately 89 seconds. If I was going to a wedding or party and it was the 80s and I had to poof up that poodle perm it took a little longer. At this point in my life, I will still put all the effort in with the makeup (89 seconds) if I am going out for the evening. But nothing really helps when a 217 pound woman is walking around braless. Mind you I do put on a bra if I am going out somewhere special like a wedding or a party (Wahid does it up and if he is not there than Nathan does it for me. Inflammatory Breast Cancer affects the skin so I cannot wear a bra as it will irritate the cancer cells on the skin.)

Fifteen minutes of rest, what is that? Is that some old time lingo for taking a break? I worked my whole life and so did he, we also had three children, and there was no time for a 15 minute rest. Most of the time in our married life I was arriving after him and I know if I had seen him resting when I got home I would be ‘What are you doing? The kids have dance, theatre, acting, soccer, etc.; we need supper on the table.’

No touch-up to the make-up was happening. Whatever my make-up looked like when I left the house in the morning was the best it would look all day. So the 20 seconds he saw me in the morning was the best I looked and needless to say it was not done for him. The only ribbon being tied anywhere at that time was a yellow one and it was being tied around ‘that old oak tree.’

And now he is going to be with the work-weariest person he has been around all day. Lucky him.

So let me just clarify this piece of advice once again.

Prepare yourself (Failed). Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives (He’d already arrived). Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking (I think he is quite happy when I have the energy to have a shower and wash my hair, even if I do have on the same pajamas I had on for the last three days). He has just been with a lot of work-weary people (Now he is with me).

50s Housewife Quiz No. 1

I think this is supposed to be from a magazine that told women in the 1950s what was appropriate behaviour for a good wife.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

All together gang. ‘Ridiculous.’

This is how it went down in the Khan household.

I was 19 when I got married so I didn’t really know what a wife’s role was. One of our first meals was a pizza mix out of the box. I made it on a cookie sheet and I topped it (no lie) with cut up hotdogs and raw hamburger. The stove caught on fire from the grease from the hamburger. I took it out, let the fire die down, and popped it back in the oven. I was completely insulted because Wahid wouldn’t even try a piece.

Next I made him a sandwich for lunch because I thought that is what wife’s do (my mother didn’t but I wanted to be a wife from television). I don’t remember the details; all I remember is ‘So, how was your lunch? Did you like it?’ “No, not really.” ‘Fine, make your own from now on.’

I worked evenings and Wahid worked days when we were first married and the kids were small. So I would make dinner before I went to work so that he could feed the kids by 5:00 when he got home. There was never, not once, a thought in my head that he was hungry and needed a good meal when he got home. It was all about the kids having a proper dinner and enough time to digest it before they went to bed at 7:00.

I started working days and got home later than Wahid so he started to do all the cooking. We realized that this was a win/win because I would rather clean and he would rather cook. And more than anything else the kids would rather eat what he made.

I do believe in planning the meals ahead so that it is easier for everyone in the house to cook. Each of the kids cooked one day a week when they got older and so they could pick out any recipe and they would write down the ingredients and Wahid would buy them. There were some interesting dinners. Nathan, for example, always made a roast chicken because all he had to do was throw it in the oven with potatoes and carrots.

When I started working till 3:00 and was the first one home I started cooking again.

After I was diagnosed with cancer I never cooked or even wiped a counter for almost two years. My idea of cleaning at the time was sweeping the room with a glance. Now, I may cook once or twice a week or I may not cook at all. Wahid completely goes with the flow and always tells me “Dearest, don’t worry about it I can take care of myself.” And then after working hard all day he comes home and cooks.

So let me just clarify this piece of advice once again.

Have dinner ready (Failed). Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return (Failed). This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs (He is not a misfit and knows that I think about him when I think about him because I tell him, and he is concerned for his own needs as he is not a baby and can take care of his own basic needs like food). Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed (So are most women and that is why we always had the agreement that whoever gets home first cooks. As far as the warm welcome needed; that always came in the shape of ‘Daddy’s home,' just like it comes now in the shape of ‘Grandpa’s here.')

Pimping Renee

Hello and hip hip hurrah! You made it and I think you look fantastic. Thanks so much for coming, let me take your coats, and please help yourself to a glass of champagne, or if you’re like me (a total dud) have a nice cup of tea. I can’t believe you came on such a cold day. Go; introduce yourself to the family and one another before the games begin.

One year ago today was when I started this little life-line of mine.

I had been reading blogs and thinking that it was something I needed to do. Colette slept over so I asked her if she knew how to set one up. She didn’t but thought that it would be easy enough and so it was.

Every time I have been asked why I joined my metastatic group, I always replied that I read that people who join groups live twice as long as those who don’t. Even though I have many reasons for starting this blog, one would be that you are able to give air to feelings that are being choked. I believe that if the feelings don’t get air, the cancer may be the second thing that kills you.

I have always intended this blog to be a place to record my thoughts, fears, hopes, and feelings. This is and always will be a place for me; a place for me to be true to my own heart. This heart is mine and I am laying it out here for me and for my children.

When I speak about my thoughts, fears, hopes, and feelings; I don’t want anyone to try to fix them or save me because that is not possible. But what I do want is to be seen and heard and to have my truth acknowledged and honoured. My problems, like many of you, are soul deep and my soul alone knows what I need to do about them.

Andrew Sullivan states that blogging is ‘writing out loud…it combines the confessional genre with the log form and exposes the author in a manner no author has even been exposed before. This is writing with emotion not just under but always breaking through the surface. It renders a writer and a reader not just connected but linked in a visceral, personal way. The only term that really describes this is friendship.’

I now get it Dad. I really have made friends because of either my blog or theirs.

The poet Theodore Roethke wrote ‘Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries.’ I want to move among mysteries and I want to be moved by mysteries. At 52 years old, I am only now learning that people have a hard time saying what they mean. I have always been an open book and assumed everyone else was too.

In the beginning of my post when I welcomed you to my party I mentioned that we would play a few games. Why don’t you all gather round and we can play one now. For me it is an old game but I thought maybe some of you would want to play along.

It is the game of getting to know me and me getting to know you. In this game no one has to be perfect, and as a matter of fact (if you are), you may have to take a time-out.

I will call this game ‘Exposed to the Wind or if you prefer Possible Ridicule.’ There are a few rules I use when playing but I hope you will bring your own to the table because nothing is more interesting at a party than a diverse group of players’ rules.

Be ready to be viewed naked; to seeing and feeling things that you might rather avoid. There are many aspects of myself that I would rather not witness, but by doing so I only up the ante.

Now if you are up to playing, we will start off very easy; tell one of the other guests (no modesty allowed) what you think is the best thing about you. See wasn’t that easy?

Now that there are only crumbs left where the food use to be and the dormouse is stuck in the sugar bowl again and the night is getting colder and you all must leave, I just wanted to thank you all.

Thank you to family, old friends and new friends.

Thanks to all of you for overwhelming me and my family with so much good that you have helped us to not be overwhelmed with the reality of the situation that we find ourselves in everyday.

*Blog header picture is by Kelly Vivanco
*Post picture is by Franck L

High Priestess

I took the test where I found out what tarot card I am. If you want to join in the fun, click on the link at the bottom of the page.

I am the High Priestess. Science, wisdom, knowledge and education are the areas that most interest me.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. The High Priestess holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head and the well as the crescent by her foot indicate her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change of fluxuation, particularly when it comes to her moods.

Click on the link below.

http://www.flarn.com/~warlock/tarot/

Happy Halloween

I always think I am going to do so well on these quizzes. For some reason I think I am very smart and then I do these things. I only got 7 out of 20. What? Have fun, I did.

What day is Halloween usually celebrated on?

October 1st
October 15th
October 31st
December 25th

The tradition of dressing up started because?

We try to scare away evil spirits
It’s away to honour the dead
When the evil spirits came they would not recognize you

Another name for Halloween is?

The feast of the dead
Samhain
All Hallow’s Eve
All of the above

The Celts believed the Lord of the Dead traveled the earth on Halloween. What was his name?

Lord Seamus
Lord Samhain
Lord Shaney
Lord McShandley

Before they happened upon the pumpkin, the Irish carved their jack o’lanterns out of what?

Turnips
Rutabagas
Potatoes
All of the above

How much did the world’s largest pumpkin weigh?

1,502 lbs
714 lbs
1,524 lbs
2,752 lbs

According to the Phobia List, which phobia is the fear of Halloween?

Hallowphobia
Triskaphobia
Samhainophobia
Eat too much candy phobia

A male witch is known as a?

Witchman
Warlock
Halloweenie
There is no such thing

The first Halloween greeting card was made in?

700 B.C.
1492
Early 1900
During the Revolutionary War (1770)

This custom began as a way to see who would get married first?

Trick or treating
Bobbing for apples
Jack o’Lanterns

What does the old English word ‘hallow’ mean?

Spirit
Saint
Spook
Sin

People in which country celebrate Halloween by eating candy skulls?

Australia
Mexico
Scotland
Italy

A popular Halloween drink in 18th century Ireland was called Lamb’s Wool. It was made with roasted, crushed ________, and milk.

Apples
Potatoes
Grapes
Chestnuts

Which one of the following people passed away on Halloween?

Dwight Eisenhower
River Phoenix
Kurt Cobain
Boris Karloff

In what year can we expect to have a full moon on Halloween night?

2003
2013
2072
2020

Pumpkins grow on?

Stalks
Trees
Vines
Bushes

The Celts celebrated their New Year on?

October 13th
December 21st
January 1st
November 1st

The name given to a group of witches is?

Convoy
Coven
Cauldron
Commune

What priests first celebrated what we have come to know as Halloween?

The French
The Druids
The Christians
The Romans

At Halloween parties guests traditionally bob for?

Turnips
Oranges
Skulls
Apples


Answers:

October 31st
When the evil spirits came, they would not recognize you
All of the above
Lord Samhain
All of the above
1,524
Samhainophobia
Warlock
Early 1900
Bobbing for apples
Saint
Mexico
Apples

If I

If I wanted a ‘sweet’ wife I’d marry a chocolate bunny.

~~ Joyce Carol Oates from her book The Falls ~~


I had to stick this test on a 1930’s marital scale with my quote this week. It rates you as a 1930s husband or a 1930s wife. Hope you have fun doing it. My score was 23 which rated me as very poor and it stated that I would have been a failure as a 1930s wife.

Yahoo, all I can say to that is ‘what a relief.’

Here is the site:

http://www.magatsu.net/maritaltest/index.php

Let The Games Begin

100-Meter Dash: Couldn’t finish; too far.

Long Jump: Couldn’t reach landing pit; twisted ankle.

Shot Put: Refused to pick up ant-covered shot; disqualified.

Rowing: Whipped teammates with belt to make them row faster; disqualified.

10-Meter Diving: Platform too high.

Swimming: Starting block too high.

Fencing: Threw handful of dirt in opponent’s eyes; disqualified.

Badminton: Bit off opponent’s ear; disqualified.

400-Meter Dash: Joined race for last 10 meters. Spit ear across finish line at last second to win; disqualified.

Marathon: Got lost.

Discus: Not sure what to do with it.

Tennis: Expelled for so-called skimpy shorts.

Boxing: Knocked out; knocked out; knocked out. Put boxing gloves back up on shelf; they fell off and knocked me out.

High Jump: Optical illusion made it look like I jumped under the bar.

Victory Lap: Apparently no such event.

Some Other Race: Inadvertently won a different race while doing victory lap; disqualified.

Archery: Unable to string bow.

Javelin: O mighty javelin, greatest and most beautiful of spears! Thy sharped point saved Thebes and scattered thine enemies like grebes! Hail to thee, O javelin! (Overslept; missed tryout.)

Mystery Sport: Not exactly sure what this sport was, but I was awarded 22 “unprovoked tries,” whatever they are. Or maybe I was penalized 22 unprovoked tries. Not sure.

Table Tennis: Not allowed to wear my protective mask, chest protector or cup; quit in protest.

Cycling: Not very good at this, so I thought maybe I could make team by coming out on a really small “joke” bicycle. Really, if you saw this thing, how tiny it is, you’d say, “Come on, we gotta put him on the team.” (Never heard back.)

Uneven Bars: Not sure how to get onto upper bar.

Balance Beam: I have no idea what this is.

Rings: No, French fries! (No response from judges.)

Weight Lifting: This has to be the dumbest sport ever. No one could lift those weights! They’re too heavy! You’d have to be a muscleman or something.

Sailing: Unable to locate ocean.

Hurdles: Isn’t it actually harder to run around the hurdles, weaving in and out, than over them? This is the point I was trying to make.

Equestrian: Should be made clear, beforehand, that a horse is required for this.

Tryout For Job As Olympic Official: Couldn’t figure out how to work timing clock; gave winner in 100 meters a time of 10 “guess” seconds; not hired.

Tryout For Job As Cotton-Candy Maker: Cotton candy came out “molten” not hired.

Tryout For Spectator: Apparently I have a loud, constant cough that sounds like a starting pistol; barred from stands.

Don Baiting: Reminded my friend Don how great his ex-wife was; made him cry!

~~ Jack Handey on events at this years Olympics in
Beijing, China ~~

Good Luck Canada

Tag ABC Your It

Look inside my upstairs window, I left the curtain open just for you.

Available: I could be, make me an offer.

Best Friend (female and male): Heidi and Robbie; and the sad thing is that they are both better friends to me than I am to them.

Cake: Emillios cheesecake that Nadalene makes with cherry pie-filling on top.

Drink of choice: since chemo, I really don’t like drinking anything. I gag on almost all liquid with the exception of tea.

Essential thing used everyday: my soul. I need it to show itself to me so that I won’t be scared.

Favourite colour: yellow. It is a feel good colour and it makes me happy.

Gummy bears or worms: neither. However, I like the look of the worms in that little cake people make for kids. Heidi made Miki a chocolate cake in an ice cream cone with icing and worms sticking out of it for her birthday when she was little and that was the first time I ever saw it. Heidi, I just was rethinking this and was that for Robbie’s birthday or Micki’s?

Hometown: Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada baby.

Indulgence: what ever my little heart desires. There is no denial for this girl.

January or February: Josephine, you must have seen that coming. Don’t give me a J and think I am not going to follow it with an osephine.

Kids: Angelique (32), Nadalene (30), and Nathan (25).

Life: is always worth it.

Marriage date: July 5, 1975.

Number of Siblings: 14 (12 living and 2 dead). 9 sisters = Kathy, Suzie, Mickey, Camille, Jacquie, Colette, Lori, Shelly and Pauline (dead). 5 brothers = Harry, Dwain, Gerry, Joey and Peter (dead).

Oranges or apples: neither and both.

Phobia: flying. But Shelly hooked me up to the fear of flying course on the internet and it really helps me every time I fly.

Quote: “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”

Reason to smile: Josephine is saying Grandma and Grandpa.

Season: Fall, although now I am starting to see the beauty in all of them. When you think you may not see the next season and it comes along, it is beautiful.

Tag three people: Camille, Jeannine, and Shirley. Of course I really want to hear from all of you.

Unknown fact about me: I am a great great aunt. Not only because I am a great aunt and love my family but because my sister Camille’s granddaughter Erin had a little girl named Ella. So thank you Erin, now I am a great great aunt.

Vegetable you don’t like: broccoli. Yes, everyone and their dog have told me to eat it because it is good at fighting cancer. It is also good at making me gag myself silly.

Worst habit: not listening to people on the phone. When I am on the phone I can’t wait to get off, so I am already summing up the end of the conversation even if I have just started talking to the person. Just as they say hello, I am already saying thanks for calling, talk to you later.

X-rays: are you joking. I have had so many that I have lost track.

Yearning: long life. I would love to live forever, bearing that I would like to live at least long enough to see Nathan married and happy.

Zodiac: Aries. The sign of me first, and if not me my children first. That’s right, I am full of myself.

Feast

What are you eating these days?

Appetizer (Name something you would categorize as weird.)

Having your stomach stapled. Your stomach ends up the size of a babies and you are an adult.

Soup (What colour was the last piece of food you ate?)

Fake gray-cream colour because I ate organic package oatmeal with brown sugar.

Salad (On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, how much do you enjoy being alone?)

10, I love it until I don’t and then it is a 6.

Main Course (Fill in the blank: I will ______ vote for _______ in ______.

I will definitely vote for anyone who will take our Canadian soldiers out of the war in Afghanistan.

Dessert (Describe your sleeping habits.)

I go to bed around 10 p.m. I put the fan on beside my bed. I make sure I have juice beside my bed which I get up during the night about three times to drink and to go to the bathroom because of drinking juice before and during the time I am in bed. Half the time I am crawling into an unmade bed because my arms hurt too much to lift the blankets and I can’t be bothered to yell downstairs for Wahid to help me. Once I am in bed I read a book for awhile then turn off my lamp (all the time saying ouch ouch ouch because it hurts my arm to reach the lamp). I say my prayers and then I proceed to toss and turn like a walrus, my arms and shoulders are like weak flippers so I just flop around using my fat. Besides waking to go to the bathroom and drink juice I also wake to flip my pillow over to the cooler side and I look at the alarm clock. I keep the covers on and then I take them off. I put a leg on Wahid and then I take it off. I then turn over again to go to the bathroom and look at the clock and see that it is 6:50 a.m. so I just get up.

Canada Day

Sending you out a great Canada Day from my neck of the woods in Manitoba where you really can touch the sky.

I hope you have fun doing this Canada Day quiz. No need to put your answers here. I am shocked because I only got five right. The answers are at the bottom of the page.

Canada’s two national sports?

Hockey, Basketball
Baseball, Tennis
Basketball, Lacrosse
Lacrosse, Ice Hockey

How many lakes are there in Canada?

Unknown
500,000
1 million
5 million

Who was the first Prime Minister of Canada?

Alexander Mackenzie
John A. MacDonald
Louis Riel
Wilfred Laurier

Canada has two national symbols, what are they?

Beaver and Maple Leaf
Moose and Maple Leaf
Beaver and Grizzly Bear
Moose and Salmon

Canada has the longest covered bridge in the world (1,282 feet long). Where is it located?

West Montrose, ON
La Sarre, QE
Gold River, BC
Hartland, NB

What university developed the world’s first anti-gravity suit?

University of Toronto
Simon Fraser University
University of British Columbia
Queen’s University

Andrew Bonar Law was the only Canadian ever to do what?

Win the Indianapolis 500
Serve as Prime Minister of Great Britain
Board the MIR space station
Win the Tour De France

How many National Parks are there in Canada?

84
25
40
60

In which year did Canada adopt the metric system?

1975
1985
1967
1970

How many time zones are there in Canada?

6
8
4
5

What is the highest mountain in Canada?

Mount Forbe
Mount Logan
Mount Kitchener
Mount Lefroy

What is the longest river in Canada?

Fraser River
St. Laurence River
Mackenzie River
Red River

What is Canada’s most northern island?

Queen Charlotte
Ellesmere
Victoria
Baffin

Which of the following authors is not Canadian?

W.O. Mitchell
Margaret Atwood
A.A. Milne
Michael Ondaatje

Which province has the largest concentration of moose in North America?

Alberta
British Columbia
Newfoundland
Quebec

When was “Oh Canada” proclaimed as Canada’s national anthem?

1870
1935
1980
1999


Lacrosse and Hockey
Unknown
John A. MacDonald
Beaver and Maple Leaf
Hartland, NB
University of Toronto
Serve as Prime Minister of Great Britain
40
1970
6
Mount Logan
Mackenzie River
Ellesmere
A.A. Milne
Newfoundland
1980

Strike A Match

Two weeks ago Angelique, Nadalene, Nathan and I went to Grand Forks.   Nathan and I were in the book section (surprise, surprise) of a store and I picked up a little gem.

The book prompts you with a sentence and you write a little fiction how you see fit.

I'm hoping that you will strike a match with me as I toss out the prompt.   The prompt will be in itallics.  

A life-long bigot changes his way of thinking after a single illuminating experience.

I had never been in this town before and no matter how good I usually am with maps, I knew I was lost.  I pulled over on 9th Street to get my bearings and to grab a sandwich at their local Timmies.

Seriously I am not in the restaurant for more than 40 minutes when I see protestors out the window.  Shit the road is blocked, I will not be able to move forward, nor will I be able to go backward.  I guess I will just have to stay cool and watch the protest from my seat, so I may as well get another double double coffee.

For Christ’s sake, wouldn’t you know it!  God damn Indians.  What do they want me to give them now?

I feel like getting in my car and running right through them, I’m sure I could end that protest chop chop.  It would be my own Custard’s last stand.  Ha ha.

Well, I hope they are happy, that little parade has set me back over three hours and I absolutely hate driving in the dark.

For shit sake, I just had those tires checked.  Nice, now I have to change it in the dark and I can barely see.  Bloody Indians.

Speaking of Indians, shit here come a couple now.

‘Evening.’

I nod.

‘Do you need any help?’

I am shocked, since when do they help Chinese people.

‘We can help you push the car closer to the house and you can come have dinner with us if you would like.  Oh by the way I am Pete and this is my son Derk.’

I’m Frank.  I am already late for an appointment, so I will just get this fixed and be on my way.

They will probably try to scalp me the minute I walk in the door.  No thanks.

Instead of going in to their dinner, they give me a hand and talk about the protest Derk had attended earlier that day.

I thank them and drive off.

I keep trying to see where they fit in my image of all things Indian.  Granted, I have never talked to an Indian, I think they prefer Aboriginal.  These Aboriginals seem so different from my entrenched picture.  For one they weren’t drunk.  In reality it was as if they were like everyone else I know.  I know that can’t be right.  It must be just because I am tired.

It has been over two months since I made that trip, but I can’t believe how it has changed me.  I was so afraid of someone I had never talked to before.  So afraid because I was taught to be afraid.  I am not afraid anymore.

Holy crap guys, this was harder than I thought.  I actually had to think.  I hope some of you will try it.

xoxoxoxoxo

Tagged

I will wait here; you go grab a cup of tea and settle in to answer some questions.

I was tagged by my darling friend Heidi and now I am tagging you.  Knowing people a little better is what we are all here for.

These questions are for your entire life.  If you have done any of them state them on the comment part of my blog.  If you can, expand on your answers just because it is more fun that way.

Gone on a blind date = no, but one time when I was 16 a neighbour guy who was about 22 came to the door all dressed up in a suit and had flowers in his hands.  He asked me to go out to the movies and tried to give me the flowers he was holding.  I said no, but that I would set him up with my sister Suzie who was more his age, so I called Suzie to the door and she went out with him.

Skipped school = yes, more than once.  Ms. Heidi, I believe I skipped with you.

Watched someone die = yes I have seen my friends Jill and Angie while they were dying and it was both horrible and an honour.  I also saw my Nana in a coma after a house fire where I believe she tried to save her dog.  And every Tuesday I get to see brave women who are living while they are in different stages of dying.  Seeing my dear friend Darlene dying was also especially hard.  I did not find any peace from any of my dear ones dying.

Been to Canada = I live in Canada but as a teenager I was lucky enough to travel all across Canada.  I have not been to Newfoundland and I have never been in the Territories.

Been to Mexico = yes, but I have only been in a border town.  Tijuana?  I am a shallow tourist because I don’t want to see the poverty in front of me.  I guess I would be called an ostrich tourist.

Been to Florida = yes on my honeymoon.  A little story.  This is the time before credit cards being common and we didn’t have much money.  It was a honeymoon on a budget.  I remember being at the airport and wanting to spend our last $100 and Wahid wanting to save it in case we got bumped somewhere (by the way, we did).  I remember being so pissed off and thinking why did I marry such a cheap bastard.  My prince charming had sprung a leak.

Been on a plane = yes too many to count.  I worked for Air Canada at one point and we traveled by plane for free.  I use to love it until one time flying from Trinidad to Tobago the plane dropped and we were lifted about 10 inches off of our seats.  It still surprises me to this day though that I sat with Angelique and Nadalene (Nathan wasn’t born yet) and said “Wow, wasn’t that fun.  I sure hope they do that again.”  Now just before I fly I take a fear of flying course on the internet that Shelly hooked me up to.

Been lost = yes.  The first time I remember being lost I was 9 years old and we had moved to Windsor Park.  I was walking home from Frontenac School at lunch and instead of turning onto Elizabeth Road I kept walking down DuBourmont to Dugas.  I then stopped at a house and knocked on the door.  An older lady got her neighbour’s son to walk me back to school, when I got to Elizabeth, I remembered it was my street and he walked me home.  I have also been left behind by my parents a couple of times when I was a small child but that was not the question, so I will zip those stories back in my lips for now.

Gone to Washington, D.C. = yes.

Swam in the ocean = yes, the Pacific and the Atlantic.

Cried yourself to sleep = yes, I have actually become a pro at that.

Played cops and robbers = yes, only we called it cowboys and Indians.

Recently coloured with crayons = no, although Angelique and I almost bought a giant colouring book at Costco.

Sang Karaoke = no, unless you consider Karaoke singing in Wahid’s ear while we are waltzing.  We both sing completely out of tune.  But being out-of-tune together has a melody all its own.

Paid for a meal with coins only = absolutely, and those coins had a lot of pennies with them.  I mean they are legal tender aren’t they?

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t = yes, yes, and yes.

Made prank phone calls = yes and I believe these were done when I was in the presence of Heidi and Shirley.  I still remember ‘Hello is your fridge running?  Well you better go catch it.'
And the scariest mother of them all 'I know who you are and
I saw what you did.'

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose = yes, and sometimes those are the best kind of laughs because they are so unexpected.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue = yes, hasn’t everyone who has the opportunity to live in a cold country?

Danced in the rain = no, but I am compiling a list of 52 things to do before I am 53 and that seems like a good thing to do.

Written a letter to Santa Claus = yes.  I was also Santa Claus’s secretary for many years so I even wrote letters on his behalf.

Been kissed under the mistletoe = yes, but not under real mistletoe.  But I have been kissed under fake mistletoe.

Watched the sunrise or moonrise with someone you care about = yes to both.

Blown bubbles = yes, and I still do whenever I get gum in my mouth.

Gone ice-skating = yes, all the time as a kid.  Most of the time at Maginot.

Been skinny-dipping outdoors = no.

Gone to the movies = of course.  I even went to see the first Lord of the Rings movie alone at St. Vital Centre.  Actually I would recommend it to anyone, it was really empowering.

Thanks for the fun Heidi.  Ciao.