Tuesday, 28 April 2009

April Showers

April, like September always feels like a fresh start for me. April, like September are the months that I feel things are winding down and starting up.

Flashbacks From The Month Of April

April 3, 2006

*Started art therapy and I think I will really like it. There is another lady in the group who has Inflammatory Breast Cancer. It is so rare that I have never met anyone else with it. Her name is Pat and she is so sweet. She told me that she has survived it for five years and that there was no reason that I couldn’t too.

April 5, 2006

*Stress reduction class.

April 6, 2006

*Started yoga class and there are about 30 people in the room. I really like it.

April 10, 2006

*Had another blood transfusion at St. Boniface Hospital.

April 26, 2006

*They had a hard time getting blood so the nurse had to shorten the blue tubing on my PICC line.

*Dr. Grenier determined that the chemo treatment was not working as well as it should be so is increasing the strength of the Taxotere. The cancer is going up from my breast higher up the chest and more under the arm pit. I am praying to God this will work better.

April 28, 2006

*It is Nathan’s birthday tomorrow so I hope I feel well enough.

Flash Forward

It is Nathan’s birthday tomorrow and thank you God, I do feel well enough.


Draffin Bears said...

Hi Renee,

Glad ~ for the flash forward ~ 3 years but sorry for all that you have had to go through on the way.

Happy Birthday to Nathan and I hope that you are feeling well and enjoy the birthday.


jgy said...

In Japan April is a time of beginnings and change as well. The school year starts in April, and people change jobs, move, and of course all in sync with the seasons when the cherry blossoms blossom and then turn to green.
Best wishes with your new endeavors, I also do yoga and love it. And best wishes with your strengh and your health. Peaceful wishes,

nollyposh said...

Happy birthday Nathan X:-)
and Thankyou again for another lovely post from you Renee that always reminds me to be Thankful <3
Loved your last post too, some really ~beautiful~ artwork there x

Delwyn said...

Dear Renee
I hope that you have a blessed and happy day celebrating Nathan's birthday

Happy Happy Birth days

Michelle said...

Thank you God, from me too, for that :)


Anonymous said...

This April sounds better than two years ago - someday it will be you saying you'd survived it and there is no resaon the new person in the class won't, too. May this April be the start of much good for you.

Vania said...

Happy birthday Nathan - my heart goes out to you Renee - I hope you have many many many more Aprils and Septembers in your life. Good luck with all the new treatments...love and well wishes, Val

Tessa said...

Art therapy - please may we see some of your work, Renee? And yipee that you felt fine for Nathan's birthday. Spring and autumn are your reawaking times - the bloom and the gold - I must do a painting for you for those months....

Ces said...

Happy birthday to Nathan and I am glad you feel well enough!

...and may that cute little skateboarder fill your heart with delight and your face with kisses.

Chrisy said...

So pleased that you're feeling good for the birthday...your post shows the advantage of writing in a journal, whether on line or on paper, so interesting to be able to be able to do that bit of time travelling...so see the changes...

Sydney said...


So I have a question I'm emberassed to ask. The art here -- is it yours? Or some of it? So much of it looks similar, it might just be that you have great taste and an eye for picking from whatever sources you have for graphics (I only have my own pictures to choose from, as I am so unsophisticated, I have no idea where to get images from for my blog,other than google images, which are hit and miss at best).

The art you post all has a certain richness and a quality... I didn't know if it was your artwork or??? It's all absolutely gorgeous.

Sarah said...

That's interesting how you often start new things at this time of the year Renee. You are in tune with nature.
Sarah x

Anonymous said...

Thank God is right, dear friend!

I love that you wrote of going to Art class and to Relaxation Therapy (here it is referred to as SMART - Stress Management and Relaxation Therapy). And I love that you met Pat right away for some inspiration and hope! I found myself searching for the same kind of people.
Happy Birthday Nathan! You have a lovely Mom - celebrate her EVERY day!
Love audrey

Meghann said...

I hope Nathan's birthday is fun for everyone :)
Hugs and prayers for a good day today :)

Stephanie N. said...

Just visiting from Sallymandy's blog, and wanted to say hello. Thank you for courageously sharing your life and your IBC battle with us strangers in the blogosphere.

Anonymous said...

ok, i have lots of things i want to tell you ....
1. i love you
2. I <3 you
3. i lub u
4. Love u I
5. me love u
6. i wub u
7. i lover you
oh and i almost forgot...
8. I adore you

love me

Angela Recada said...

I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling well enough! All of God's blessings to you and your loved ones, dear Renee.

Daria said...

I enjoy your flashbacks so much.

I get to know you just that much more.

Hope you have a great day,

Faith said...

What a powerful, reaffirming post. I am so glad you feel well enough. I like the thought of April being a fresh start :)

Deborah said...

I am praying to God too. It sounds like He is sending people you need into your life. I am happy for that. Is it Spring there yet? Sending you all my love, Deborah

Sarah said...

So glad you are feeling well enough hon!! Happy Birthday to Nathan!!!
Loved the picture - very cool! You are in my thoughts hon! Love, Sarah

Polly said...

I'm really glad you're feeling better. Thanks for this very honest post, I loved reading it. Polly x

Sonia ;) said...

Happy Birthday Nathan!!!

Wrapping my arms around you with a soft fluffy blanket....HHHHHHHUGGGGGGGG

Sonia ;)

Oops! Desperate Blogger~ said...

Thank you for constantly putting life in perspective for me. Happy Spring. I too am thankful that you feel well enough to celebrate the gift that is Nathan.

Yoli said...

You are always on my thoughts and prayers sweet lady. I am glad you are taking art classes. Art is a balm to the soul.

Ces said...

No my darling, It is not chilly and I am wearing a floor length skirt, no cape. We had a deluge from the thunderstorm last night. So I am spending my post diluvian day working from home because the streets are impassable, schools are closed and there will be more rain this afternoon. The city is one giant pond - flooded!

Marion said...

A very happy birthday to Nathan! I'm so glad you're feeling better and can enjoy this perfect day!

Yes, April has arrived here in Louisiana "like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers", to quote Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Blessings and (((hugs))) to you and your family!!

glorv1 said...

Hi Renee. Just touching bases. Hope you had a great day. A Happy Birthday to your son Nathan. I love April, because everything starts blossoming and I feel renewed. I also love fall, then I feel more invigoraed, I don't why but I do. You sound good, keep it up and take care. gloria

Jan (Thanks For 2 Day) said...

Hi Renee, I've read a little of your ongoing struggle and I'm sending you love and lots of good wishes;-) I received the Renee Award today from a blogger friend, and I noticed that this award is 'making the rounds' amongst many of my blogging buds. Did you start this award? Is it your idea in the first place? I just would like some info. so when I post about it, I can direct people back to your blog!It is such an inspiration to come here and read your posts...I am 'cured' of my salivary gland cancer of the palate...I think. It was 5 yrs ago and 'can' come back but after 3 surgeries to remove my palate, go up into the nasal passage, and do a forearm freeflap transplant to make me a new palate, then radiation, I think I'm good to go. Even though you've mentioned otherwise, I hope you will be too...keep looking up;-)

Anonymous said...

Renee, thank you so much for your feedback and suggestions! That is fantastic! I actually thought about doing the Green Parakeet piece - I may still go with that as part of the presentation.

The joke is awesome! I think that I will incorporate that one.

I am incredibly honored that I am walking beside you on this journey! You inspire me, you encourage me, you make me want to be a better person!
Much love to you!

Caroline said...

Hello Renee. That's good that you are feeling well for Nathan's birthday. Yoga and art - great combination! What did you do in art class?
Thanks I had a good break - will be posting pics of the trip soon. Came back with sandfly bites though - horribly itchy :(
Caroline x

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Hope you're enjoying the b-day celebrations! I'm glad you're feeling well!

Diana Evans said...

Hi Renee....

Sorry for everything you had to go through...but I do have faith and hope.....I wish you a wonderful Birthday with Nathan....I am happy that you feel well enough to enjoy it!!!


soulbrush said...

you are a huge inspiration to all us gals out here, happy boifday nathan and god bless you all.
wordveri= nathok ( i promise...nathan ok).love it!!

deepazartz said...

You are one great Lady, Renee!

You are going great...art class, yoga...I wish you all the luck. May almighty shower you with all his blessings:)
May you have many more Aprils & septembers.

And Happy B'day to Nathan.

Have a great day, Renee

Every Photo Tells A Story said...

Have a Happy Birthday celebration with Nathan, Renee!

April is a beautiful month.


Bella Sinclair said...

Happy birthday to your baby boy, all grown up! I hope there was a wonderful celebration, was there?

Wow, what a haunting image! But there is that sunshine breaking through in the distance. I want it to reach her in all its glory.

Three years. And you feel good enough. Thank God, thank God. Do you still take art therapy or the other classes? I can imagine you, talking to a new group member and telling her it's been several years now for you, and there's no reason it can't be for her, too. She would be comforted and grateful to be enveloped in your gentle words of encouragement.


Anonymous said...

I completely agree! Jan - Mar are the hardest months of the year, and then April arrives and Christmas is only 8-mos away! (I'm a Christmas nut.)

Peach Street ~ Jamie said...

You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that something I said helped in some way. Not only because I mostly feel like an ass when I try to comfort someone when I really have no idea how they're feeling but also because I'd had one of those weeks that makes you question everything you say and do and even who you are. I had been so upset that week by something that had occured between myself and another woman. It was one of those terrible situations where someone says something about you and you think 'she doesn't know me at all' or worse you think maybe she's right and 'I' don't know me at all.

Anyway, I was in a spot where I questioned my every interaction that week and I typed that comment at least a full hour before I sent it. Wondering if it'd come across all wrong or if it would in some way make you feel worse...remind you of that monster just when you'd forgotten it was there. But it occured to me that Renee's blog, for me at least, is about telling the truth, putting it out there, letting people know how you feel and not holding back. And that's when I knew I had to send it. Because it was true, because it was real and because that's how I felt.

You have touched my life in more ways than you will ever really be able to know. And you know what I think is the coolest? There isn't one person who reads your words who wouldn't say the same thing!

You Rock!! ;)


Ces said...

So how is my favorite liberal Mental Ninja this evening? How is Nathan's celebration going and did he have a cake. Did Jodephine eat a piece of cake and did dhe wear her tutu?

YayaOrchid said...

Happy, happy Birthday to Nathan! I'm glad April is also a time to celebrate for you.

Thank you for your concern, Renee. Tis true, I've been a bit low lately...ala 'not been myself lately' kinda way. I think it's menopause setting in, but who knows.

I guess we all just gotta keep plodding along on this journey. But kind words and sentiments sure do help and make the road to travel more pleasant. I thank you for your words.

Deb a.k.a.The Invisible Blogger.... said...

Yes a time to start over, anew. Each year another chance to begin again. I usually dislike the spring, so dirty looking until you spot the beginning of green and the buds on the trees. It all starts over, and so do we. Happy birthday to Nathan.

I am so glad you like the prints. I am hosting my 100th post giveaway now till Sunday, so you may wish to pop over for a visit.

Anonymous said...

Yes, we never know what tomorrow may bring. So definitely enjoy the now. My brother is undergoing brain surgery tomorrow to remove a tumor (Tuberous Sclerosis). He's been dealing with it most of his life, but I try to keep his attitude upbeat about it, and always try to make him laugh. I'm usually successful that way, but it's still hard to see the pain he is politely masking.

Wow, I must say, Renee, you are surprisingly active, painting, yogo, etc. Yoga always scared me. I just know everyone in the class would be experts, and I would be the amateur who fell on his tucus, or passed gas during an exceptionally tough 'downward facing dog'.

Mim said...

Little miracles do happen don't they?

Anonymous said...

April is time for renewal...I love how you renew yourself everyday since I 'met' you..I wish to do the same for the rest of my life...you inspire me so. And don't forget that Nathan means 'gift'..

kj said...

three years later and love and light surround you, renee. last week i made a luminary bag for you with a donation for the local race for life. i wrote your name in big capital letters with a purple marker.

today i started thinking about you beating the odds. someone has to, statistically speaking, and i think it must be you. i thought about that and i felt this strange power of probability around me. i now believe this for you, renee. i will believe in your vibrant life ahead from now on. i hope you won't mind.

oh renee, how do you know sweet mango? because i think i have a crush on her...

love you girl. always will.

kj said...

oh i forgot: nathan, is your mom the best birthday present ever?


Lori ann said...

Yes, thank God. Happy Birthday to your precious son and you too sweet Mama.

♥ lori

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

Happy birthday to your baby boy! I hope you are feeling well this April 28th too and are able to enjoy Nathan's birthday. Interesting image you've posted for April showers. It does look stormy out the window!
Love you,

P.S. Wow, my verifi word is "damed"... dam up the river!!!

Pattee said...

Thanks for sharing your "recap" of April with us Renee.. You have such a wonderful way with words.

I'm sure you spent a wonderful Birthday with Nathan!

You my friend always keep my gratefulness in check and I thank you for that.

Ces said...

Oh dear lord, it's a good thing my love for you is not just some phony blog display. I will overlook your offensive statement and excuse it. Never call me a fake. I have never faked anything, not even orgasm. I love you, still.

A Thousand Clapping Hands said...

So glad that you are feeling well to celebrate Nathan's birthday. I feel the same way about April and September.
A big hug,

Ces said...

Why even fake it? Just don't do it. That's not always the ultimate goal. It's making love and pleasing your lover. Men are not stupid. They know it when a woman fakes it.

trash talk said...

You write with such beauty and expression that it's like reading music. I don't believe in coincidences...you meeting Pat is a plan, God's plan. Me finding you through Malisa...well, that was a blessing.

Ces said...

You drove Kaili into hiding. That just proved my point. She's not L.

Goodnight Renee, Black and pik is a good combination but she looks cute and lovely so any color would do.

Bella Sinclair said...

Gawd, that was good for me. Was it good for you?

Bella Sinclair said...

Good night, sweetie. Have a good tomorrow. xoxo

Ces said...

You did not really smoke, did you?

Ces said...

You know, I was actually feeling down and just wanted to withdraw and ella tried to pull me up and then you came with that liberal democrat nonesense and you made me laugh. I feel so much better, so thank you. Goodnight. I love you. My God, I can't imagine being in the same room with you. If we were in a hotel lobby, they would kick us out.

Ces said...

Like I said: It's called "Blogging for Endorphins!"

studio lolo said...

Hey there sister Raven. Who was it that said "April is the cruelest month?"
I love April for the promise of new beginnings and I adore September for the last embraces she gives. April is the promise of another chance and September is the last kiss of a summer breeze on your cheek as you stand by the ocean. Beautiful months, those.
And a beautiful piece of art with those lovely ravens. And even though there's blood, there's life and light.
Just stopping by after a hard day but wanted to blow a kiss or two your way.
Smooches to Winnepeg and blessings to Nathan on his birthday!
Big love comin' at you~

Anonymous said...

Sweet Renee, I checked my mail before I go to sleep earlier tonight and found your sweet words that brought tears to my eyes..I believe we are connected to eachother for the common zest for daily creative breathing..I thank you tonight for these moments and such words make for a quality life. Sweet dreams to you sweet Renee. My family knows you oh so well..Eventhough we are close in age your kind and beautiful spirit reminds me so much of that of my mother's who died of cancer at the age of 57. Until that day she lived every day with renewal and joy and love and selflessness..you remind me of her so much.

Woman in a Window said...

A good day then, to celebrate. Enjoy and revel.