Sunday, July 5, 2009
Happy Anniversary No. 2
Today is our 34th wedding anniversary and I think that we are happy enough.
In my post entitled Happy Anniversary http://circlingmyhead.blogspot.com/2008/07/happy-anniversary.html I talked about my wedding. If you are interested in reading it, I hope you enjoy it. As I mentioned in that post I can only give you my version as Wahid prefers to keep his version out of my blog.
I look back on these 34 years since our wedding day. I reminisce and think that it took me forever to become 34 years old, never mind be married for 34 years.
The past 34 years have not been perfect. We have had our struggles and survived. We are loyal and committed and we choose to love each other every day.
I make a conscious choice to love Wahid every day (it is not a hard thing to do).
We were so young and so naïve when we got married. But you know what; maybe that was a really good thing. Those were the times when you just let the days come to you, carefree days where you had faith in each other and the world. There was the faith that love would always be there like the comfiest sort of blanket which covered you in warmth trailing a scent of wildflowers in its wake.
Our marriage has been a collection of regular days which were inserted with four miracles; Angelique, Nadalene, Nathan, and Josephine.
That we have gotten this far was not a miracle and it really wasn’t a lot of work.
Stretched out behind us are 34 years of putting our egos aside, of having children and focusing our attentions on their needs and not ours. Of having children that simultaneously drag us apart and sew us together.
In the midst of the marriage I thought time would keep a steady pace but now as I look back on it I see that it has been speeding up.
I have mostly been happy in my marriage; but is happiness the measure of a marriage? I ask that question because everyone always talks about how happy they are. How their marriage is and always has been fantastic.
I don’t believe that people themselves are happy all of the time, so how can they be happy in their marriage all of the time? Just because someone is not happy at some points in their marriage does not mean they have a bad marriage.
I believe that when you are doing things in the marriage you have to stop thinking about how it could be better and enjoy it the way it is. Let your head be present in the experience and not outside of the experience criticizing it; thinking about how it could be better and how it is not good enough, when in fact, it is more than good enough. In my marriage, for me, there has been a real need to drop the fantasy and enjoy the reality.
Wahid is very good looking; and I mean very good looking. And while I was watching him the other night I was overcome with affection for him. I am overcome with love and respect for this man who has walked with me in marriage for the past 34 years. I am comforted knowing that he is in my life.
I know that any problems we have had are small potatoes compares to what may be ahead of us as now we live in tornado conditions. I know that with Wahid in my life his support will help give me the strength I need to see myself through.
Happy Anniversary Wahid; you are better than any fantasy could ever be.
Love Renee xoxox