Are You Coming?

Grab on to a thought and lets soar. 

Flashbacks From The Month Of May

May 20, 2001

*I love Wahid.

*One area of my life that makes me feel insecure, uneasy, and frustrated is my health.  The one thing I can do right now to improve my situation is to stop taping talk shows and then sitting around all night or all weekend watching them.  From today I will not tape any more talk shows.

*I don’t believe that I ever take an emotional risk, Heaven forbid that someone, especially someone close to me, like Wahid or my children see how I don’t think I measure up to what they perceive me to be.  I definitely do not show my deepest feelings to anyone, not even to myself.

*I think by choosing to see the good in a situation or a person, you already bring a positive force into the situation, so even if it turns out badly, it was not all bad.  If it turns out good, it will be better than good, because good was the least I expected.

*I have to be at the center of my own universe.

May 13, 2002

*Start an inner revolution.

*List of freedoms I believe most strongly in are.  The right to free speech.  The right to go anywhere I want, when I want.  The right to choice (of whatever).  The right to vote.  The right to practice or not practice a religion.  The right to free thought.  Right to protest.  Right to be satisfied with whom I am even though someone else may disagree with it.  The right to disagree.  If my life depended on it, I would fight for probably none of these freedoms because I feel my life would be too valuable to lose over a freedom.  The only thing I would fight if my life depended on it would be for my children.

May 20, 2002

*A couple means two, in mine and Wahid’s relationship there are five people.  Our children have a large place in our relationship.  In fact they have a larger place in the relationship than either Wahid or I.

May 25, 2002

*Enough bull-shit.  What would I even allow people to do for me?  I can’t believe how totally repressed I am.  Am I afraid of people seeing any weakness in me at all?  The funniest thing is I don’t think my kids are fooled at all, although I think the rest of them are.  When other people tell me they need something from me, I don’t think of it as a weakness at all.  On the contrary, I know it is a strength to say when you need help.

May 30, 2003

*Yesterday, May 29th was Angelique’s graduation from University.  She has an arts degree, honours in psychology degree, and now an education degree.  She is now officially a teacher.

May 22, 2004

*Soon, my first child, Angelique will be getting married.  Actually in less than two months.

May 24, 2004

*I truly feel that aspects of me have really not gotten better with age.  Let me try to find a few: I’ve never really valued things and I have always valued people; but I value people even more because I know they won’t be here forever and that life is just a puff of air.  Boy, I sure haven’t grown, mind you; I had really a great developed personality even as a young girl.

May 16, 2007

*Nadalene and Charlton got engaged on May 8th.  The wedding is planned and the dress is bought, so exciting, just waiting for the ring to be made to tell everyone.

*Nathan will be graduating June 6th.  He has worked very hard this year.  He is accepted into education in the fall, very proud of him.

*My hand is sore and my writing is getting sloppy.  My blood is very low; it is at 57, so Nadalene brought me in for a blood transfusion (3 units).

*Angelique is expecting the baby any day now, so I’m really glad I’m having my transfusion today.  Hoping it will give me energy.

Flash Forward

Love who you are, it is always good enough.