And, I Am Not Reconciled

I am just so sorry. So, so sorry.

Who would have ever guessed that someone I have never met in person would affect me so much. I just heard that Andrea, a young 37 year old mother of six was told today that she has a matter of weeks left to live. She was diagnosed one year ago with IBC and has not responded to any chemo.

She and her husband were told that they will try her on one more chemo if she wants and maybe she would have the summer but she will be very ill from the chemo, let alone the horrendous pain she is in from the cancer.

I believe that she will try the chemo as she needs the time to spend with her kids. Andrea was diagnosed just after she gave birth to her son in May, 2007. Her children range in age (I believe) from 1 to 18.

Andrea shared a poem her 14 year old son Tucker wrote for her and I want to share it with you. I want you to realize how lucky you are to see your sons become men.

Pain and Love by Tucker J. Collins

Once upon a year ago,
Terrible news struck my ears.
Time began to pain and slow.
Stabbed by words like pointy spears.

A dreadful misfortune struck.
A growth too much to handle.
All depending on pure luck.
Life dwindling, like a candle.

Now a year has timely passed.
I’ve learned new lessons that show
Pain and love can be amassed
By the friends who come and go.

Dedicated to my mother who has helped me to grow and become the person who I am today.

Andrea is an original punk-rocker and proud of the fact that she was one of a group of 35 people to first see Nirvana play. She lives in South Philly.

Andrea has a very strong faith in God and she believes that she will be with Jesus and has to accept what is happening. This is a direct quote from Andrea where you will see the quality of the person shine through “God and I are breathing together. Even if there is nothing more than this, this is good enough. In that moment I knew that this life is enough.”

On one hand I know that cancer is random but I can’t help but remind myself that God eats little children for breakfast. And, I am not reconciled.

On the other hand I know that God is good company and I pray for him to keep Andrea company and comfort her. And, I am not reconciled.