Sunday, 1 June 2008
There were omens everywhere you looked that great things were afoot.
Her Mom was in labour on a blue moon in May. A Christmas delivery happened on the 1st day of June. And I believe that the earth took a deep breath in.
I didn’t know. I couldn’t imagine. I never would have believed.
I was extremely ill; I couldn’t have a second chance at life could I?
I love my children. That is one thing I know for sure. I was a mother, not a grandmother. I didn’t have any understanding that being a grandmother could consist of the same love and devotion that being a mother had consisted of. I really saw my children as the miracles they are. I never suspected.
And then I knew.
My granddaughter was born. Josephine Renee Khan St-Hilaire has changed my life. She has changed the life of my family. We are better for having this chance to know her. My Josephine has allowed me to see the miracle of the child as well, but this time without taking any of it for granted.
Josephine has taken me out of myself. She has put a twinkle in my eyes, a bounce in my step and love in my heart. She has reminded me of who I am, because I had forgotten. Josephine has bonded to my soul. She is a Christmas gift in June and a reminder that once in a blue moon miracles can happen.
My granddaughter has done this for me. Having Josephine in my arms or by my side has made me not feel sick anymore. Yes, I am in pain and I don’t feel well, but I also don’t feel sick. I feel happy and energized and useful. I feel more like me again.
Being a grandmother to a granddaughter with such zip and personality has made me excited about life and leads me to places in my soul that I never knew existed.
The miracle and magic of my little Josephine is that there is no duplicating her. She is one of a kind. There is no one else in the world like her and there never has been and there never will be.
I believe that may be the essence of the magic of children. Everything they do is as old as the hills. But everything Josephine does is as if it has never been done before, certainly not by a mere human. And the strangest thing is that all her firsts are firsts for the rest of us who love her.
A few weeks back I was watching, really watching, Josephine take turns dancing with Auntie Nadalene and with Grandpa. As soon as the song would end they would put her down and she would hold her hands up for more. And sure enough, more she would get. I watched this go on for 40 minutes and smiled the whole time as I could see Nathan sitting on the couch making faces at her while she was dancing and Angelique taking some pictures, and then me grabbing a little dance before she held her hands back out for grandpa because after all we know who the dancing machine in this family is. Josephine knew too.
I march with Josephine around the house, we put magnets on the fridge, we pull pots out of the cupboards, we eat our lunch, we read ‘Where Is My Binket’ in the backseat of Mommy’s car. We have started going for a walk to the park and she swings on the baby swing. We talk and we talk and we talk some more. Josephine talks away telling me all kinds of wonderful things that only she and I can understand.
She gives me her “ha ha” and I give her my ‘ha ha’ right back. And I know that no sound on earth will ever be dearer than that little “ha ha”.
The family laughs, Josephine is our entertainment, our very best book that we look forward to reading. We can’t pull our eyes away from the page.
Josephine you have filled our hearts and have made us happy.
I love you unconditionally and beyond eternity.
To steal a line from my mother to Josephine’s mother and to make it our own ‘Happy 1st Birthday grandma’s bestest girl.’