Thursday, 26 February 2009
50s Housewife Quiz No. 1
I think this is supposed to be from a magazine that told women in the 1950s what was appropriate behaviour for a good wife.
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
All together gang. ‘Ridiculous.’
This is how it went down in the Khan household.
I was 19 when I got married so I didn’t really know what a wife’s role was. One of our first meals was a pizza mix out of the box. I made it on a cookie sheet and I topped it (no lie) with cut up hotdogs and raw hamburger. The stove caught on fire from the grease from the hamburger. I took it out, let the fire die down, and popped it back in the oven. I was completely insulted because Wahid wouldn’t even try a piece.
Next I made him a sandwich for lunch because I thought that is what wife’s do (my mother didn’t but I wanted to be a wife from television). I don’t remember the details; all I remember is ‘So, how was your lunch? Did you like it?’ “No, not really.” ‘Fine, make your own from now on.’
I worked evenings and Wahid worked days when we were first married and the kids were small. So I would make dinner before I went to work so that he could feed the kids by 5:00 when he got home. There was never, not once, a thought in my head that he was hungry and needed a good meal when he got home. It was all about the kids having a proper dinner and enough time to digest it before they went to bed at 7:00.
I started working days and got home later than Wahid so he started to do all the cooking. We realized that this was a win/win because I would rather clean and he would rather cook. And more than anything else the kids would rather eat what he made.
I do believe in planning the meals ahead so that it is easier for everyone in the house to cook. Each of the kids cooked one day a week when they got older and so they could pick out any recipe and they would write down the ingredients and Wahid would buy them. There were some interesting dinners. Nathan, for example, always made a roast chicken because all he had to do was throw it in the oven with potatoes and carrots.
When I started working till 3:00 and was the first one home I started cooking again.
After I was diagnosed with cancer I never cooked or even wiped a counter for almost two years. My idea of cleaning at the time was sweeping the room with a glance. Now, I may cook once or twice a week or I may not cook at all. Wahid completely goes with the flow and always tells me “Dearest, don’t worry about it I can take care of myself.” And then after working hard all day he comes home and cooks.
So let me just clarify this piece of advice once again.
Have dinner ready (Failed). Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return (Failed). This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs (He is not a misfit and knows that I think about him when I think about him because I tell him, and he is concerned for his own needs as he is not a baby and can take care of his own basic needs like food). Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed (So are most women and that is why we always had the agreement that whoever gets home first cooks. As far as the warm welcome needed; that always came in the shape of ‘Daddy’s home,' just like it comes now in the shape of ‘Grandpa’s here.')