Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Times Three No. 8
We listened as though our lives depended on it. We didn’t swallow in case it made noise.
A warrior and the warrior’s family were told of terrible things that were happening on the battlefield. The warrior did not avert his head nor did his family.
Sheldon had a CT scan on Friday the 21st so that they would have a good picture of what is going on before they start chemotherapy.
August 25th the results are in and we met with Dr. Wong for a family meeting at 4:30.
‘Sheldon, I am sorry.’
‘The tumors that were 2 ½ cm after your surgery have grown to over 12 ½ cm within one month.’
‘We do not believe that the chemo will work and it is no longer an option.’
I jump up to stand behind Jacquie’s wheelchair so that she could touch me and I could touch her. I can’t bear for her to continue hearing this alone, even though Sheldon, Ben, Gilbert, Mickey, Joey and Dr. Wong, as well as three other nurses and another doctor are also in the room.
‘The pain you are in is from the cancer pressing against nerves and the liver. Your blood is already showing signs of problems and your liver enzymes are elevated.’
‘We think that radiation may be the way to go so that it can shrink the tumor and you would be in less pain. Radiation could start tomorrow.’
‘You will be in palliative care.’
“How much time do I have?”
‘Do you really want to know that Sheldon?’
‘About two months.’
‘I’m sorry Sheldon.’
“That’s okay, thank you for your help.”
Joey is in the hallway crying. Mickey is in the chair in the hallway crying. Gord is in the chair in shock.
Charlton comes and I have someone to hold on to. I phone and let the family know.
Jacquie comes out and says she wants to go outside. Jacquie tells me that Sheldon wants to see everyone and that Angelique, Nadalene, Nathan and Wahid should come up right away. Gilbert and Mickey take Jacquie outside.
I go in and see Sheldon, I am crying and holding his hand and he tells me that it is okay.
“The dream I had was not a dream Auntie Renee, it was a premonition.”
‘Yes, Sheldon, it was a premonition.’
“It comforts me Auntie Renee.” ‘It comforts me too Sheldon.’
A few months after my father died at the end of September, Sheldon told his Mom of the dream he had and how it scared him so much he woke from his sleep.
Sheldon had a dream that he was sitting with my father on a bench and they were talking. All of a sudden Sheldon remembered that his grandpa was dead and said “Grandpa what are you doing here, you’re dead?” ‘I know I am Sheldon, but you are dead too.’
August 26th Sheldon is saying that he is not afraid to die. That he believes that there is more to this life. Sheldon tells me that he had so much fun last night with Ben, Angelique, Nadalene, Nathan, and Uncle Wahid. He said they laughed a lot at Ben telling stories.
He talked again about his premonition and knows that his grandpa is with him and is his guardian angel and that he will be there to meet him when he dies.
My father is a warrior from way-back and now that old warrior will one day be waiting to greet this young warrior.
I am counting on it.