Monday, 23 November 2009

Regarding Wahid


















He is my husband and has been since July 5, 1975. I am lucky and he is lucky and we both know it.

The first time I saw Wahid I almost swooned. He was beautiful. He still is gorgeous, but boy-oh-boy he was beautiful. I met him at his brother’s house party where he was wearing white pants and a blue and white polyester shirt. (Yummy)

He asked me to dance (he was and still is a dancing machine) and I said yes. We danced but neither of us spoke.

I told his sister-in-law (I worked with Charlotte) that I thought he was a doll. Next thing you know she invited me over for supper and guess who was there.

Wahid loves to tell the story (all of our memories of our stories are almost completely opposite) of how that evening I was sitting on the couch and he kept looking at me and how I smiled and we talked and then he didn’t really talk but kept staring at me and finally I turned in my seat and looked at him and said ‘Have you got a problem, what are you staring at?’ He loved that I didn’t squirm. As if I would!

We were young and we were happy. Of course, eventually as all young couples tend to do, we grew up, and today after almost 35 years of marriage we are older and still happy. I wonder where the time has gone, why has it sped by so fast, I want so much more of it. I have known Wahid for a long time but it hasn’t been enough.

No matter how things have transpired in my life I can truly say that knowing and sharing my life with Wahid has been one of my greatest joys.

The past is on my right and the present is on my left and the now is smack dab in the middle of my forehead. I haven’t forgotten much of what it has been like to have Wahid by my side.

Wahid was and is the best father a child could ever want. Wahid was 23 years old when Angelique was born, 25 years old when Nadalene was born, and 31 years old when Nathan was born. I have to admit he was over the moon when Nathan was born.

Wahid’s kindness, patience, and genuine understanding have made me kinder, more patient, and more understanding. I love and admire him and he is better than anyone I could ever have hoped for in my dreams.

My relationship with Wahid has gone well because we respect each other. We have a shared history. When I forget, he can speak my memories (his words). Wahid wants for me what I want for him. Wahid and I were talking and I asked him about gratitude. He made me cry because he said he is grateful that he met me. He tells the kids this at least a dozen times a month. I think it is good for them that they have always heard these stories. I always tell them that ‘Yes, Dad is so lucky he met me.’ I even tell him and them that he got a better deal than me; however, I know none of them are buying it.

Wahid has all the character. Wahid has never done a dishonourable thing or said anything dishonourable. He is a man of honour.

I remember when we were younger and went to a party. After the party I mentioned how annoying one of the people was. Wahid was seriously shocked. ‘Renee how could you say that about someone, you were just talking to them and that isn’t very nice.’ I’m like ‘Oh God, whatever.’

As a man Wahid is an incredible individual. He always places his family above all things.

When I was first diagnosed with cancer and was sitting in what I called my coffin on the couch; I was telling Wahid that I didn’t want to die, didn’t want to do chemo, and just fucking didn’t want to die. All Wahid would say was ‘Well Dearest, we have to go through the process.’ To others they may think it isn’t enough but for me it is exactly what I needed. I can talk a lot but I am also silent a lot too, and I don’t want to hear shit talk and Wahid never gives it to me. Also as one of the counselors pointed out in group once ‘It states so much that Wahid uses the word we.’

Wahid never wavers, he is true and loyal and honest and hardworking, and calm, and quiet, and the most intelligent man I have ever met.

Happy Birthday Wahid! Love Renee, Angelique, Nadalene, Nathan, Josephine, and Domenic.

*artwork by Kelly Vivanco

93 comments:

momcat said...

A very happy birthday to Wahid! He sounds like a husband in a million, Renee, and a very special person. You are blessed.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

How blessed you are to have Wahid (and vice versa, of course!). He sounds like such a great guy! And wow, you two were babies when you got married!

Sonia ;) said...

Happy Birthday Wahid.....I am glad you you met Renee, and both molded to be wonderful parents, peoples, and souls.

Blessings on your Birthday and every day after.

xoxoxo

Jackie said...

Happy Birthday Wahid!!
Renee what a beautiful way to pay tribute to your husband. It sounds like you are both Lucky to have one another.
Hugs,
Jackie

*jean* said...

indeed, happy birthday, he sounds like a good, good man...what a sweet and soul+full testament from you....it is so good to be a witness to such gratitude & love...

LDWatkins said...

Happy Birthday Wahid! What a beautiful tribute to a fine person. I'm so happy for both of you..so happy you have each other. Love on, dear one!!

Dede said...

Happy Birthday Wahid! Wishing you a day filled with laughter and loads of memories!

(((HUGS)))

Nevine said...

Oh, how lovely, Renee! And Happy Birthday to Wahid! And you know why I loved this so much? Because in your description of Wahid, I saw so much of my husband, Vincent. We also met at a party, and he asked me to dance. And when we looked into one another's eyes we both knew... And your description of his character, so so similar, Renee. A fine man, indeed. And you are blessed to have him, as he is blessed to have you. I wish you all the warmest and best, for you and your family, and most importantly for Wahid, on this very special day when his mother brought him into the world so he could be your special gift, and you could be his.

Nevine

jacquie said...

happy birthday wahid
you are accountable and a kind wonderful man who has raised a wonderful family and that isn't easy.
you have enriched my life with many discussions at the table.
have a good birthday wahid..
love aj

Vicki Holdwick said...

Renee,

What a wonderful tribute to a fine man. You are so lucky to have someone like him (and he, you).

Happy birthday, Wahid, and many more!

xoxo

Loredana said...

Renee,this story is one that I'd like to read everyday, in spite of all those people separating and forgiving what love is... unable to remember what they've seen in the eyes of the other. I hope that this man can be an example not only to his sons but to all the people that meet him.
Give him my best wishes on his Birthday.

Annie said...

This post is so beautiful,it makes me cry. You are both so lucky to have this, speaking from one who has never had it. Happy Bithday Wahid! XOXO

in the light of the moon said...

Making every moment count.I'm keeping that in mind when I open my mouth,when I see nature,when I play with my children.As I read your post I couldnt help but think...you make every moment count.Your words,moved me so.Blessings to you,Cat

Deborah said...

Oh Yes Yes! Happy Birthday Wahid!!! And many more with your beloved Renee. ** blows kisses** Deb

Coastal Sisters said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet Wahid! You are both blessed to have each other to walk through this life.

Love you Renee,
LuLu~*xoxo

kj said...

many times you've reminded me you are writing this blog for your family. i have a feeling when you are long gone and they are perusing and sharing the words of their beloved mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, friend, this will be one of the very special posts that brings tears, unfolds memories, reminds and reassures how very wonderful and real and true a couple named renee and wahid really were--and how much the magnitude of their love has left behind.

for me, my beloved moon sister, reading this was an honor.

love always,
kj

Michael Rivers said...

Happy birthday Wahid. And many many more!

Micki said...

A very happy Birthday to someone who is quite clearly very special to you!
Happy birthday Wahid!

Micki x

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

Happy Birthday Wahid!
What a wonderful post Renee! I think you are both so very lucky to have each other♥
Love, Darla

kj said...

you make me cry too, moon sister. you are one in a million. i love you so much.

Barbara said...

Happy Birthday, Wahid! And Renee, you are indeed, a lucky, lucky woman to have found such a rare one as he. To find love like that in this world is something to hang onto and fully appreciate, which you have here for the whole world to see. I'd say you're both lucky. [[hugs]] B

Diva Kreszl said...

What a lovely tribute to your loving husband! You are so blessed to have eachother but mostly to realize the gift you have in eachother, some couples forget what they mean to the other. Happy Birthday Wahid!!!

Sarah said...

Oh oh oh Happy Birthday sweet Wahid!! What an amazing man..to love such an amazing woman!! what a blessing you both have in each other!! I hope he has a wonderful rich birthday hon!!
Working on... almost done with..getting there with the Tea Room....Love you hon, Sarah

Doris Sturm said...

Wow, Renee, what a great tribute to your man. You are indeed a very lucky lady (and yes, he a lucky guy.)

On another note, if it were me sitting on that couch that day in "my coffin", I'd be so pissed off too...no matter how smart we think we are, and we all darn well know that nobody lives forever and sooner or later we have to die, sooner is just NEVER an option! I'd be wanting to throw s..t too! So, I'm thinking, in a way it's a great comfort to have a man like your husband on your side, right? On the other hand, it sucks you may or may not be able to live with him as long as you want...one just never knows for sure. I believe miracles happen all the time. Things that even surprise the doctors. I never forget that line from the film "The Notebook" where the husband tells the doctor that "science only goes so far and then comes God." I never forget that. I have to blieve that or else I'd be doomed from the start.

I know I just barely met you, Rene, but somehow I feel very close to you and I think about you often. I'm glad we met, Renee. God bless you and yours!

Happy Birthday to Wahid - and Happy Thanksgiving!
Doris

Ruth said...

Wahid sounds like a lovely, lovely man, person. Happy Birthday to him.

I like this on the heels of my appreciating men post. So happy.

Mim said...

I love the next to last paragraph, it sums it all up. Happy Birthday to a lucky man,

hope your mom is OK

Caroline said...

You are lucky Renee, Wahid is a good man - they are hard to come by. But I have one too!

Diana Evans said...

Sending Birthday wishes to your dearest husband Wahid!!! I love the way you share with us Renee....Family is such a wonderful gift...one we should be grateful for each waking hour and every night before we sleep....you are so blessed Renee!!!

Have a wonderful day celebrating!!!

Hugs
Diana

Diana Evans said...

oh and thanks for checking out one of the tromp l'oiel's I created in my studio...it is a painting I did years ago of a french window that overlooks a garden....I don't have the heart to ever paint over it...and I enjoy it....glad you noticed it...I will post more photos of my studio in the months to come!!!

Hugs
Diana

Kelly Lish said...

What a giant smile your story has put on my face this morning Renee-thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of romance. Please give Wahid a birthday hug from me.

Love you beautiful girl...

Lori ann said...

Happy Birthday Wahid.

This was so lovely to read Renee. You and your children are lucky. So lucky. I was married to his exact opposite. :(

love to you,
lori ♥

Sarah said...

It does indeed have Renee's right over the front door!! So glad ya like it hon..Love ya, Sarah

Camille said...

Happy Birthday Wahid!
What a beautiful tribute to Wahid. Wahid truly is THE most Kind,Honest and Loving person I know. It is a pleasure to have you as my brother-in-law . Have a GREAT day Wahid

madtexter (corey james) said...

Okay, you just did the nearly impossible - you brought tears to my eyes. Now I must composed myself. I'm at work while I'm reading this and fear I may blubber up.

Congratulations to you and Wahid for so many years of togetherness. What a great guy he sounds like. You're the one going through cancer, and he's living it vicariously through you as well. Go team! Tell Wahid I said HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Now DANCE your arse off!! (Just keep the polyester pants in the hope chest. 70's fashions were not kind to any of us.)

Manon Doyle said...

Happy Birthday to Wahid!! What a beautiful post about your love! It's wonderful Renee that you are both truly happy after all these years. A love like that is rare ..... you are both blessed!

love you sister!!

manon
xo

zoe said...

happy birthday wahid! he sounds like a top notch husband, and he definitely got a top notch wife! this is a beautiful post, full of love....thank you so much for sharing it :) hugs to you both!

Julie said...

Happy Birthday, Wahid!!!! What an awesome tribute to what sounds like an awesome guy! :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Wahid. You sound just wonderful, almost as wonderful as Renee. Blessings to you both, Barb

Javajune said...

What a beautiful love story...happy Birthday Wahid- you are a lucky man!
Love ya Renee-jj

Noreen said...

Happy Birthday Wahid! You both have been so blessed and continue to be thirty five years later!

Ces said...

happy birthday to Wahid. He is a wonderful man but then again you deserve each other because you are wonderful too. People born in the month of November are wonderfu!

PurestGreen said...

What a wonderful, sweet post. Men sometimes get a tough time - it is nice to read things that honour and celebrate men.

glorv1 said...

A very Happy Birthday to your wonderful husband. Know something, my husband is like that. Great post about the one you love. Take care.

staceyjwarner said...

Wow! I'm left silent. You are all very lucky to have found such peace and love in a family.

Wahid sounds like an absolutely wonderful man.

Happy Birthday to him.

much love

Karin Bartimole said...

well Renee, I am most definitely in love with Wahid :) as much as I am in love with you. You two obviously deserve each other, and are blessed to have had that first dance. Happy birthday to your man!!
love, Karin

secret agent woman said...

A very happy birthday to your beloved!

Holly said...

happy birthday dear Wahid!

clairedulalune said...

How Renee, what a lovely man you have by your side! You are a good woman to know it too!You sound wonderful for each other! A very happy, happy Birthday to you Wahid!

Shelly said...

I too love and admire Wahid, still waters do indeed run deep! Happy Birthday Wahid ... xoxo

soulbrush said...

this is so touching dear friend, happy birthday wahid and many more with your beloved wife and family. god bless you all xxxx

Jaliya said...

Wahid ... This world is a better place because you were born :-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Renee ... What a beautiful tribute to your beloved ... and to your whole family.

I can't help but wonder when I read your words about how important honour, family, gratitude, inclusion, etc. are to your Wahid ... What culture / heritage was he born into?

Huge blessings xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

rochambeau said...

Happy Birthday Wahid!!!!
I'm so glad you were born! Because You are a special man! How do I know? You married Renee!!! It's nice how your she describes you.
Think we could use a few more men like you in our world!

Have a great day today and may this be the beginning of your best year yet!
Please tell your wife I send my Love,
Constance

Sarah said...

What a beautiful post Renee! Happy Birthday to Wahid. You lucky pair to have found the right one!
xx

Woman in a Window said...

You two are very lucky to have one another. There seems to be such balance between you.

I laugh at your response to his surprise, Whatever! You are never not yourself.

xo
erin

Chrisy said...

Oh darlin girl...so wonderful that you've been able to share your journey with Wahid...and he his with you...and the real gift is that you both know how precious the other is...

Shaista said...

Happy birthday to Wahid - this post was so beautiful Renee, so inspiring, and it makes me feel so happy that someone worthy of you found you, and the same for him. There is nothing more romantic than two people being worthy of each other when they are each so special.

ToM KiDDo said...

wow, a very romantic story and happy birthday to uncle Wahid :D

Debbie said...

Even though I've never met your husband, I feel like I know him a little after this awesome post. Please wish him a Happy Birthday! You are both so blessed to have found each other!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to Wahid!

How blessed you both are to have each other.
So well written and well said Renee.

Love you
Yvette

Ribbon said...

Hi Renee, Hi Wahid and a very happy birthday to you :)
I too have celebrated a bthdy this month :) ... happy birthday to us xx

big love xoxo Ribbon

PS... renee I'm so happy for you and wahid that you have each other... xoxo

Margaret Ann said...

"...Wahid wants for me what I want for him..."
To me this says it all Renee...What a beautiful love story...What a loving gift your spirit is to Wahid...and to all of us...Blessings Wahid! :)

Nina P. said...

Happy Birthday Dear Wahid! May you always find Joy and Happiness in Life and may You always complete each other. Blessings to you and yours Renee. Love and Light, Nina P

Bella Sinclair said...

Happy Happy, Mr. Wahid! I hope you had the most wonderful day ever. Renee, you had me busting my gut when you said, ‘Oh God, whatever.’ BAHAHA! I'm sure you have kept Wahid so happy all your years together. You both are blessed. This was a beautiful, beautiful tribute.

Funny how you, Ces, and I all have sweeties born in November.

Baino said...

I love the way you pay such kindness and honesty to the man who's stood by you and whom you've stood by for 35 years. No hearts and flowers just a gentle display of deep love and affection. I wish him a happy birthday and you, many more years with this amazing man. And how his name suits him, it means Unique, single, exclusively, unequalled.

sue said...

this was so heart warming to read..
birthday wishes to Wahid and hugs and best wishes to you both xx

yoborobo said...

Renee - I love Wahid, because I know he is man of honor, and that he loves you, and he 'gets' you! ;) He is someone to stand with you in life, no matter what it throws at you. Thank God for the rocks in our lives! Please tell Wahid happy birthday for me. My birthday is in two days - so I am a November baby, too! xoxoxox Pam

Marie S said...

Happy Birthday Wahid!
May you get all of what you could ever want and more than you can ever imagine!
love and hugs.

Lila Rose said...

Happy birthday Wahid!
He sounds like an absolute spunk when you met him ;) and I'm sure he still is!
You're so lucky to have found your soulmate Renee. I hope I'm as lucky as you one day :)
Love Lila xx

Sophia said...

Wow! Chills here. Happy birthday to a man who is tottaly lucky to have a woman like you in his life! Blessings and joy to you both! Hugs!

Debra said...

Happy Birhtday Wahid! I think as I read your post how we marry people very different from ourselves. It is that "balance" that makes it work. Combined with "respect" which so many marriages forget about. Lucky you (and Myself) to have this person in your life, your counterpart, your other-half.
Congrats to Wahid, may you have a wonderful day of memories to speak.

Word verf: Blessess (nuf said)

momcat said...

Renee, Although you are living with a life-changing and life-challenging illness, you still make time to comfort others in their time of need and this makes you a Gorgeous Blogger in my eyes. I have left an award for you over on my latest post.

Silver said...

What a beautiful reminisce of a wonderful person in your life, Renee.

love always,
~Silver

i wrote something today. You're my first stop. You're very special, that's why.

Sassy Scribbles said...

oh Renee! This is probably the best post ever! You are God's gift to each other and I'm inspired to raise a happy home for our future kids because I see and I know that true love exists and is timeless.

a Happy Birthday to Wahid!

Love and hugs,
Sassy.

Javajune said...

Just in case I don't get a chance to stop by tomorrow...Happy Thanksgiving, oh yeah thats right you already did that! Well have a great thurday and weekend anyway. I'm off to plan my menu, shop for the fixins and clean the house, as soon as I get my butt out of this chair. Do you really think I'll get all of that done today? Yeah, you me too well. heehee...
xo-jj

Arija said...

Oh my dear, you are both so blessed to have each other. Life may at times be short but love remains for ever.

Wine and Words said...

"The past is on my right and the present is on my left and the now is smack dab in the middle of my forehead."

This is a wonderful confirmation of marriage. My husband and I will celebrate 25 years next year...not all easy to be sure. But your encouragement through this post means much.

karen gerstenberger said...

Happy Birthday, Wahid!

Angie Muresan said...

Ok Renee, I am back because I couldn't get through reading it and commenting this morning without crying my eyes out. Happy birthday to your dearest Wahid. What a wonderful man he is, and what a wonderful woman you are. And how well you are both suited to each other. LOVE this post! Just love it! Now I'm crying again.

Sydney said...

WOW oh WOW oh wow. You have a way of lifting up the people in your life that you love, and making it impossible for us not to love them too. wow. Happy b-day Wahid.

sweetmango said...

god i love you so much, you have no idea how much you and your family have touched my heart and my life. I adore wahid, i have found my wahid.
you made me cry, i wish there was more love like this, like what you two have, cos then the world would be so much better.
Happy Birthday Wahid.
Love me

kristina feles said...

Dearest Renee, I am so happy for you both! Thank you for this post!Wish you happy birthday Wahid!Kristina

BT said...

Oh my goodness Renee, if that isn't the most beautiful tribute to anyone I have ever read, I'm a frog! I do hope Wahid had a wonderful birthday and I'm sure he did as long as you were by his side. Can we see a photo of you two? I'd love to see him.

What a life you have had together. You know how lucky you both are of course. I envy you that.

Love to you both, always,
BT
xxx

Angela Recada said...

A belated happy birthday to your dear Wahid!

I am so very glad you found each other and married early so you could have all these years together. He sounds like a terrific person. And you have made me love him, too, because he has been so good to you and your children.

Hugs and love,
xoxoxo
Angela

nollyposh said...

and you are his ~gift~ too <3

Daria said...

Happy Belated Birthday Wahid ...

angelique said...

I can't believe that I am just reading this. I assumed that you hadn't been writing these last couple of days since you have been sick. Nothing stops you and I am glad. I just love the tribute to dad. He was and is such a loving and gentle person. So wise and so cute, especially when he tells stories of his past with a smile from ear to ear.
Happy birthday Dad.

A Spoonful Of Sugar said...

Belated birthday wishes to Wahid! Sounds like a match made in heaven - so happy for you Renee to have your soul mate by your side.

flossy-p said...

Wahid sounds like a complete treasure!

Happy Birthday. :)

one little acorn said...

What a beautiful tribute Renee, he sounds like a wonderful man and a perfect match for you both. Your words describe a relationship we all should (and do) strive for.

RivkA with a capital A said...

What a beautiful post.

It is so wonderful to know that you have a partner in this life.

I am certainly grateful for mine as well.

Did you read my post about The Clock? I think you would like it.

With everything that is going on, it is so important to recognize our blessings. And having a real partner in life is a true blessing!!

Björnik said...

Belated happy birthday to Mr. Wahid. I think I already have a man-crush on your husband Renee. Both of you are so lucky to have each other as partners!:)

Dawn said...

Solid as a rock, that's what this Love is... that tune popped into my head reading your post x

One Womans Thoughts said...

There is the imagined fairytale love and then there is real life, stripped down, exposed heart and mind love. It's the "we", not you or I love. Your description of life with Wahid is one that we as humans long for, embracing with both arms and holding tightly to our beating hearts love. Thank you for sharing. My heart is sweeling with emotion.

Katharina