Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Pain Relief

It is a well established fact that you cannot be human and escape tragedy. I know that. We all know that. I don’t know if it is an established fact though that many people who live in pain from cancer would prefer to die just to get relief from their pain. I certainly am not at this point, but I know that Andrea is.

I am sitting here spiritually crushed because Andrea is in so much pain right now that she wants to die. In her own words “ASAP.”

I usually do not look deep into things. I take them as I see them. But, I am so heartbroken for Andrea and her family that I wonder if I am also not crying for myself.

This morning I have been so sore and have taken all my pills and then some. Have a neck roll around my neck to help push my shoulders down and hold my head up. Feeling nauseated because of too many pills. Crying because I feel sorry for my body and the pain I am in. It is mostly my shoulders and upper arms, but then again it is also my back, my neck, my feet, my fingers.

This brings me back to Andrea, and her pain. I know that compares to her my pain is nothing at this point. I would be lying, however, if I didn’t say that the level of her pain scares me. It scares me for what my future will look like. I know the power of now and I know I need to be here, but right now I am anticipating the future.

Andrea wants to go now and states that she wants God to forgive her for anything she has done. I on the other hand think she needs to forgive God for what she is being put through.

I always want what my friend wants. I know that she wants to die now, so that is what I want too, but I just can’t help wishing she could live a little longer pain free and be with her children.

I have always been a sucker for fairytales. Just now am I discovering that they are rarely true.


jacquie said...

please god

take andrea out of the physical,emotional and mental anguish she is suffering with.

take her to your most magical garden and let her be around children so she can be their gardian angel


jacquie said...

please god

i beg you:

take all the pain away from renee as she has done nothing to deserve this anguish either.

lord hear my prayer

Mickey said...

Amen Jacquie

God give Andrea peace and Renee strenght.

Lord Hear Our Prayer

God give Andrea's children peace in knowing that their mother would never choose to leave them.

Lord Hear Our Prayer

Andrea I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Suzie said...

Dear God

Please take Andrea in your loving arms gently and guide her into your kindom ,

Please help her family to cope with all the pain they have to endure.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.