Thursday, 5 March 2009

50s Housewife Quiz No. 2

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

All together gang. ‘Yeah, right.’

This is how it went down in the Khan household.

The only time I ever prepared myself is if I was going to work or out for the day. It consisted of putting on blush, eye shadow, and mascara. Said and done in approximately 89 seconds. If I was going to a wedding or party and it was the 80s and I had to poof up that poodle perm it took a little longer. At this point in my life, I will still put all the effort in with the makeup (89 seconds) if I am going out for the evening. But nothing really helps when a 217 pound woman is walking around braless. Mind you I do put on a bra if I am going out somewhere special like a wedding or a party (Wahid does it up and if he is not there than Nathan does it for me. Inflammatory Breast Cancer affects the skin so I cannot wear a bra as it will irritate the cancer cells on the skin.)

Fifteen minutes of rest, what is that? Is that some old time lingo for taking a break? I worked my whole life and so did he, we also had three children, and there was no time for a 15 minute rest. Most of the time in our married life I was arriving after him and I know if I had seen him resting when I got home I would be ‘What are you doing? The kids have dance, theatre, acting, soccer, etc.; we need supper on the table.’

No touch-up to the make-up was happening. Whatever my make-up looked like when I left the house in the morning was the best it would look all day. So the 20 seconds he saw me in the morning was the best I looked and needless to say it was not done for him. The only ribbon being tied anywhere at that time was a yellow one and it was being tied around ‘that old oak tree.’

And now he is going to be with the work-weariest person he has been around all day. Lucky him.

So let me just clarify this piece of advice once again.

Prepare yourself (Failed). Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives (He’d already arrived). Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking (I think he is quite happy when I have the energy to have a shower and wash my hair, even if I do have on the same pajamas I had on for the last three days). He has just been with a lot of work-weary people (Now he is with me).


Flor Larios Art said...

Well, I have a problem because we both work here at home...and most of the time I am wearing my painting apron...I do not like to wear makeup...I only use a little whe I go least during the evening hours I look good...I think...

glorv1 said...

Well with me too, I don't work so I spend a lot of time on the computer and painting. Let's see: I wake up at 5:30 am, make his lunch, brew some coffee. While he is showering I fix his take along cup for the car. We sit at the table and drink coffee and talk, he leaves at 7ish. Then my real day starts. Exercise, although I have been lazy lately, washing clothes, cleaning or semi-cleaning, making my list of to do things, itching to get out to the studio, doing research on how to take pictures of paintings and a lot of other things I do throughout the day. I don't think much of lipstick, makeup and only put some on if I leave the house. My attire at home is relaxing pants and tshirts or just jeans and tshirts. I do shower and "fix" myself a little before mi esposo gets home and try to look a little presentable although at my age it is very hard to do. I cook dinner, we talk and then he is out to feed the birds, I put the dishes in the dishwasher aching to get to the studio again or on the computer. Heck, Renee...I do a lot of things throughout the whole day and you know something I am thankful that I do.
Renee have a great day and for the heck of it, take 10 deep breaths and then grab your makeup bag and put on some makeup and look at yourself and say I love you. You may feel a little better. Take care dear.

Deanna said...

Isn't it nice to know that we put on a little bit of make up (gotcha beat...45 seconds for me) for each other Renee!


Julie said...

Ha ha ha ha ha the picture you paired with this cracks me up! That's exactly how I look with 15 minutes of refreshment and a ribbon in my hair, good thing Tim is legally blind (just kidding, poor thing has to bear the full force of my face all the time).

The more I think about it, the sorrier I feel for the 50's housewives who tried to live like this.

Ronnie said...

You are a wonder, dear. You describe for me what I'm living thru on sooo many counts. Clarifying that I am not alone in this screwy life!!!
Enjoyed your comprehensive post on God vs his reps. Right on, sister!
As I sat here for a moment waiting to hit the post button, I realized this cancer you have may be what allowed you to stop long along to teach. And teach you do! Thanks. DARN!
*$@($(&#! there's no little heart symbol on here!!!

Sarah said...

No stress there!!!! LMAO Renee - you always lay it out - the real deal!!! Love you!!! Jim is a student and Guard member - so he's home alot!! I run an in home preschool - so I'm here. So we just kinda take each other the way we are. He seems to still be exited with me - even in my end of the day sweats and hair on top of my head - which btw is not a great look for me. Seriously - I've worked hard all day, so has he - we are just thankful we both show up!!!!
thanks for being there for me this week hon!!!! Love, Sarah

Micki said...

ha ha, I am a good house wife (not) i'm always slobbing around in jogging bottoms with rubbish hair and no makeup.
I do nearly always (except if i'm ill) have a meal ready for him when he comes in from work though, but then we all like to sit together and eat, and hubby doesn't get back till fairly late so if I left it to him it would be past the kids bedtimes ;)

Micki x

LaWatha said...

What a riot. This post made me laugh, Renee. I had to read it to my husband because it really hit home with me. I haven't bothered with makeup for a very long time- except for special occasions when I go all out and put mascara on. I tell myself I'm just being natural, not lazy. ; ) I weigh almost the same as you, so the comment about a 217 lb woman walking around braless was spot on. Whoever got home first in our house usually made dinner- fortunately that wasn't always me. Also- whoever cooked, then the other one had to do dishes. It was nice when the kids were old enough to do the dishes and even cook once in a while. Anyway... I can't imagine being a 50's housewife- I never could see myself being Beaver Cleaver's mom.

Ces said...

Hahaha! I don’t know if I fail the test or I will be sent to another class. My husband is very easy going and not demanding at all, I am. He is gentle and patient, I am impatient. He will cook if I am tired or on-call from work. He will order pizza for the kids or make them a healthy dinner. He can also discuss philosophy, politics, literature, history and he helps the children with their Math homework. He did homework with them since they were in grade school because I got frustrated. He also has a very sexy chest and he speaks gently to me. He does not like to shop for clothes. I on the other hand, prepare myself for work as follows: shower. moisturizer, moisturizing foundation, blush, eye shadow, eye liner, run that eye liner gently on the eyebrow, lip liner, lipstick, mousse, hair spray, perfume here, there and oh, there!, pearl necklace, pearl earrings, matching underwear and bra, pressed shirt, scarf, suit. If I wore a skirt, stockings damn, yes, I will wear a garter belt, no one knows except me and I giggle quietly to myself every time I go to the rest room, I used to wear stockings and garter belt under my pants suit, it was so much fun! Shoes, matching belt and watch (yes, one has to have watches of different styles and straps to match the other accessories, matching purse or bag, my signature pen! VIOLA!!!

So today I did exactly what I did not have the courage to do for years. I wore my royal blue nursing scrub pants and canary shirt and blouse, my Finn Soho shoes that looks like a sneaker except it’s cost equals ten sneakers, so it looks very nice. Everyone is shocked, from my children to my co-workers to the mailroom clerk. They don’t know what to say. I love it! I love to see their faces; they want to say something but are holding back. Hahahaha!!!

“You’re so vain, you probably think the song is about you…” Hahahaha!

Meghann said...

I make sure when he comes home I am dressed. Period. If I am not super sore I will have on jeans and a t-shirt. He will have to deal with it. I try to brush my hair, though. Makeup? LOL, I look like a ghost on a good day, does anyone really think I'm going to look better with a smearing of makeup on?? you want to see how white I am? Check out my blog post from today:
THAT is why I don't bother with makeup....and I still have a bit of a tan from last summer (yikes). And as for resting....I have to nap 2x per day and that still doesn't help, so an extra 15 minutes is laughable. I'll say it again: Those 50's articles are the reason women's lib happened - thank God!

pRiyA said...

hahaha...hey, look around you! some of the millenium housewives are still in 50s mode.

thanks for your support renee. that picture was done some time ago during the worst. now i am working on the woman in the garden with 'watchful eyes'. some difference since then ;-)
But, i do still need the energy sent across please!!!

lakeviewer said...

Renee- this was spot on for many of us. I'm a bit older, so expectations were doubled too. Anything that was wrong in our lives would have been the fault of the woman. Her responsibility.
As another reader said well, you have become a good teacher for all of us still living a myth we didn't invent.

Linda Sue said...

My mom was the perfect 50's housewife- wore heels , ear rings and always make up to vacuum and do dishes, just in case somebody might drop in. always had baked goods on hand and a little gift stash, just in case, in the linen closet- I learned alot from my mom but I am a slob. Can't go against nature or you might break something...Grateful that the 50's are dust!

Noreen said...

Too funny! Thanks for making my day!

The man I am with, met me when I was without makeup on and I was not wearing one of those over the shoulder bolder holders. He also knew I have stage four breast cancer (mets). Trust me, he wasn't attracted to me for my perky firm breasts. Hell they haven't been that was since I began breast feeding some twenty-seven years ago. With partial reconstructive surgery on the right breast, my breasts are not exactly balanced. I refuse to spend hundreds of dollars on getting a bra that will make me visually balanced for people who couldn't care less.

I think if I was to put on makeup and a bra my boyfriend may not recognise me. Now that could be interesting.

Thanks again Renee for sharing your reality.

Michelle said...


Fancy getting dressed up to stay home!

Bring on the Pj's...

Anonymous said...

To be happy to see you, is enough! My mum always told me, you could be dressed in a bin bag and she'd still love me. The same for hubby and wife!
Thoughs pyjamas are so lucky they get to spend more time with you!

Anil P said...

15 minutes of rest. Somehow I feel I'll remember this as a metaphor for things unseen, undone, and maybe unimagined!

Shelly said...

This 50s housewife looks like some of the men of the millennia I’ve seen walking around lately.

What you aren’t telling people is that you have that beautiful Scottish complexion combined with huge baby blues (I won’t mention those freakishly long Mr. Snuffleupagus eyelashes) and therefore need very little makeup. It wasn’t from any lack of effort, but simply because you are one of the lucky ones who doesn’t need it. I always wonder where my 16 year old self with her two hour beauty regiment went.

In any event “we’ve come a long way baby” and Amen to that - Oh and I almost peed myself when I saw you listed your weight – you go girl!

studio lolo said...

if I do something for myself and it makes me feel good, then he benefits too.

I wear minimal makeup but what I do wear I need! (blush, mascara, eyebrows and sheer lipstick.)

I feel naked without earrings, even studs.

But if I'm hanging around the house I let myself me comfortable. Loose clothing, no bra~still try to do the makeup thing though for myself.

Have you seen these bras renee?

How's the sister visit going?
My niece cancelled :(

I hope your Thursday is fantastic and comfortable!


studio lolo said...

Where oh where is that little package I mailed you?

I just had a windfall today from other bloggers. I love mail! See what you started? ;)

My niece took a hard look at her finances at the last minute. I think she has some other 'stuff" going on too.

I liked that same bra. Subtle.

Big hugs,

BT said...

I, too, have read this somewhere before! It is so funny now, but I suppose it wasn't thought so at the time it was written. So glad I didn't have to comply! Put a ribbon in my hair? Are you joking? I'd look ridiculous, like an ageing poodle!

Love the illustration though.

studio lolo said...

I got lots of great mail this past week, starting with you ;)
It inspired a post.


Ces said...

Hahah! BT's comment about the ribbon made me laugh!

Debra said...

Okay I was a mere child back then and I can tell you my mother had 7 of us, and 15 minutes of rest constituted a nights sleep! Make-up was the last thing she thought about after, cooking, laundry, cleaning, and this was before she went to work outside the home so she could get a rest. My father actually came home to a work weary person, ha.
Me, I too have three children, my husband worked afternoons, I worked days so one of us could be home. We were tag team parents. So yeah I guess I did put make-up on for him, on the days I was working in the store. On the days I went to clean houses, no.
Still I would gladly do all those things if given the chance to be home, and worrying about him was my only concern.
Since he is eligible to retire soon, and I will still be working, maybe I should save this list for him? Yeah, but I think I will let him skip the make-up and ribbon part.

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

For years my ex-husband & I worked together in an office. I did put on makeup, dress with heels, fix my hair; but where did it really get me. I think I mainly did it for myself.

Renee, do you want me to email you that moon photo? Could you not click on it and copy the image. Let me know if you want it ... I'll be delighted to send it to you.

XXXOOO Cheryl :-)

Anonymous said...

I've been married thirty years (I must be old, or I got married young, or probably both) and I do try to look decent when the mister gets home. Decent by today's standards anyway! I do enjoy his occasional business related absences though, then it's comfy sweats, cereal for dinner in the family room, reading and late night TV...

Every Photo Tells A Story said...

Wahid is not a stupid man, or he wouldn't have married you, Renee.

Real beauty is on the inside, we all know this, even men.

And, (drumrolls please)one of my favorite quotes of all time, "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

P.S. THAT picture, my friend, is of Rodney Dangerfield in drag:)

Bella Sinclair said...

I could not get the image of Tammy Faye Baker out of my head as I read this.

I'm with ya, baby, all the way. I'm pretty minimal on the makeup -- eyeliner and blush, that's about it. If I know I'll be staying home, I'm in my comfortable sweats. My husband and I are pretty independent, so when he comes home (which was typically very late anyway), I was always doing my own thing. Often times, I was already asleep.

I think housewives in Japan are stuck in the 50s. Most of the women get gussied up to go out, even if they're bringing their kids to the park. Fashion is big. There are about two beauty salons on every block, I kid you not. A few times, my Japanese teacher was at my home when my husband was leaving for work. She would apologize like mad for being there while he was home, then she would insist that I physically get up and see him out the door. My husband and I would just look at each other, awkward-like, not knowing what to do! "Uh...ok then. Bye, honey." "Uh...bye."

YayaOrchid said...

This certainly hit a nerve with so many woman, didn't it? I mean, maybe secretly, some of us wish we could always look like a TV mom.....but reality is always different. You do the best you can with what you have, period. 217? I got you beat! But I don't have the courage to post it. ;))
I really enjoyed reading this post and all the comments. Looking forward to the weekend, my friend!

Daria said...

Love it ... it made me smile.

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

Renee, Under the Moon Phases widget on the right side of my blog there are links to my other blog and my website. Go to Lizzy's Photo Blog ... I have uploaded 3 photos of the moon for you ... "Moons for Renee". I think you can download those. I think the 3rd one is my banner. Have fun!

YayaOrchid said...

Renee, actually, close, very close. :) I'm exactly 5 feet tall. So do you see my dilemma with weight? It's not easy being short.

Emerald Arts said...

Bah hahaha that's gold. I'm usually home before Ten on Art School days, otherwise he picks me up from the shop, but he gets wierded out when I wear too much makeup, doesn't like the stuff.

He's also fond of getting me out of bras (as opposed to your boy getting you in) and loves to try to undo it one handedley.

Is that too much information for ya?

hehe prob not

<3 your Em

ps. OMIGOD! My word verification has the word "Epic" in it which is TOTALLY my favourite word right now. Everything is Epic!

Jen said...

OH hilarious.

I almost choked when the image loaded.... the ribbon... great choice!!!

I must admit that I have failed too. Sigh....


Tessa said...

Hehehe! Renee, you one singular lady! (Is that a split infinitive or a double hung something or other...mmm..dangerous grammer, eh?) You shoot right from the hip and, boy, do I love it!! And so does every woman here, judging by the comments! (I'm late reading this post 'cos I've been flopping about like a landed fish and feeling very sorry for myself with a vicious flu thing)

I do dab on a bit of make-up (mascara and lip gloss) and whip my hair up into some semblance of order. But I do it mostly for myself so that when I pass a mirror I don't die of shock horror.

Actually, Guy says he likes me better without make-up, but he is probably lying. I think he means he DID like me without make-up...when I was 20 years younger!!

MuseSwings said...

Hah - the only time I would prepare myself is if I was still in bed in my PJs when he pulled into the garage. Maybe not even then. Hear me roar.

Dawn said...

Loved this post... I so would have been classed as a bad wife!!!

I must admit, when I was working if I wanted to be sent home, I used to go to work minus my eyeliner - everyone used to say "don't you feel well Dawn, you don't look good" and I would feign illness and get told to go home...

Lippie I can go without, but eye liner no hehehe