Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Wednesday's Women No. 20

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Oh, no thank you, I am just resting. I usually make it to this spot to have a little sit-down.

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Sorry, I am a little hard of hearing; I’m not sure what you said dear.

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Just off to get my weekly shop. No, I don’t pick up much, just some scones and tea.

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Well if you are sure you don’t mind and you are going there anyway. These old bones just aren’t what they use to be.

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But you won’t be finished your shopping by then, I am sure of it.

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Well that would be wonderful and maybe if you don’t mind I will pick up some milk too.


Thank you so much for the ride to the store and home dear, that was very thoughtful of you.


Oh yes, I have five children, all adults now of course. I also have 11 grandchildren; they also have children of their own. But you know they are all so busy these days, everyone seems to work.

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I do talk to them every week, but I don’t want to be a burden. I know they would do anything for me. Anything.


JonJon said...


Shelly said...

Ingenious – at first when I was reading I kept thinking “what” I didn’t understand what was being said, when I realized this Wednesday Women is hard of hearing (what a wonderful way to paint that picture with your words) … but then I realized this blog is not about what is being said it is about what’s not being said that speaks volumes.

lakeviewer said...

This hit home, Renee. Many people in my village are old, some in their nineties. And they all talk like this, act like this. WE don't want to bother our young folks with our needs. We don't want to be a burden. Ouch!

Renee said...

Shelly the thing that I love about your responses is that you almost always get my meaning.

You understood what I was not saying completely.

Love Renee xoxoxo

Rebecca Ramsey said...


Daria said...

When I first saw the picture it reminded me of a Ukrainian baba ... but I think the picture and your wording captures most everyone's grandmother.

And yes I sat by the girl that makes me laugh ... thanks for remembering.


Melissa said...

I love the picture.
And, I love that communication happens so clearly despite the garbled passages. Goes to show that we can cope with less than ideal circumstances. . .
I missed your blog during my hectic hiatus from blog-land!

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

My dear Renee, I love the visual image and the mental image YOU created. I wonder how I'll be when I get to an older age. I have no children, no grandchildren, no relatives to even ask for help if I need it. We'll see. In our small town we have a transportation system called CARTS that I hope will be useful when I get incapacitated. Hmmm...
XXX OOO Cheryl

Michelle said... where are all the children and grandchildren when this woman who gave them all life cant manage???

Busy, pah!

Clever you.


Anonymous said...

Thanks so much Renee. I have negative and positive results. Really out of it all there is positive and I am going to Budapest! This helped me feel confident and not get upset!
Thanks so much for your love Renee! Your such a beautiful women! You help me feel so much stronger!
I am so pleased how many people write to you, you are certainly worth every message and so much more!

Sarah said...

Wow - wonderfully cretive post hon!! To the painful point. Maybe another case of looking down or away so we are not bothered. Don't we all face this fear, that we will be that sweet old woman, having to do for ourselves despite having done for so many.
Blessings, Sarah

YayaOrchid said...

Renee, this one really hits home! I know my Grandmother and Mom always said those things about not wanting to trouble or burden anyone. And now I say it to my kids as well. The picture says it all. This will surely bless many, and get them thinking. Thank you for sharing.

I also wanted to thank YOU for allowing me to comment on your blog. And to also say that I am just so touched and impressed by everyone who posts on your blog. They are ALL so respectful of everyone's comments, even if they don't agree with them. Thank you for having such an open environment for dialogue! I consider you a dear, dear friend Renee!!
And pls do keep us posted about your Dr visits. We are ALL praying for you!

glorv1 said...

Hi Renee. I thought I would pop over an pay you a visit before I put my shopping away. I alread put the frig and freezer stuff away, I just have the staples, etc to put away. Can you believe that I have shopped since January 27th. for groceries. I promised myself I would shop once a month for food and so far so good. I didn't have to buy eggs because the hens are giving us 2 a day. Is that cool or what.
As for the dear lady, my mom is like that. She does not like to ask anyone for help. I always insist on doing things for her. In fact she has two sons who don't do diddly for her and tons of grandchildren who are too busy to lift a finger. I feel for the little old lady because one day we can all be her. I hope you are okay amiga and are having a great week so far. Talk to you later. Take care.

Noreen said...

Thank you for the beautiful way you brought your point across.

Some years ago I cared for my grandmother. It's not that she didn't have any children. It's not that she wasn't loved by her children. However, none of them could make the time to bath her, pick up groceries or even clean her small apartment.

I had a two year old and another baby on the way when I first began caring for my grandmother. I too was a busy mother and wife. I also knew that if I didn't do what I could, my grandmother would fall through the cracks.

Reading your blog today, I find myself grateful that I removed myself from my "busy little life" long enough to help my grandmother in what little way I could. I have no regrets. I do have great memories.

Thank you my friend.

Ces said...

This is a stark depiction of a conversation Renee. The shocking reality is that this is basically how most conversations happen because the other person may not be listening by choice. I sometimes do not listen and don’t want to listen, yet the other person wants to keep on talking. The problem with this arrangement is that the speaker will blame the intended listener as not being a good listener instead of just accepting the fact that the intended listener does not want to have a conversation. That is how “Shut up!” came about. I hate that phrase, even if I am the person who refuses to listen but I have said that phrase quite a lot in the past year to someone or thought I said it.

Now as for old women, the grandmother type, especially the pleasant and lovely ones, I love to sit next to them and just listen. If they were my relations I would probably play with the veins in their hands, the way I used to sit on my grandfather’s lap and listen to him speak (even if I did not understand him because he spoke Spanish) and traced the veins on his hands. His long slender hands and fingers were the proud owner of a beautiful penmanship.

You see, I totally changed the subject. I am not being a good listener. Anyway, I must say that I scrolled through your blog and there are some things I want to say but not in public. Let’s just say this, I do not know you very well but I pray and wish you joy. It may sound commonplace but you have prompted my mind and touched my heart. You are a beloved sister.

I hope no one is eavesdropping :)

Debra said...

Hmm, Believe it or not I was once the lady picking up the old woman. A very similar situation occurred to me, where I helped an elderly woman.

In eluding to the other "person" in the conversation, you can read between the lines. I felt the gratitude in her responses, and the solitude of her life. (or maybe it's just me?) Perhaps she will ask the woman in for tea? Maybe they will form a friendship? I hope so.

I will fill in the blanks with a happy ending.

Delwyn said...

Renee- you have given us a few pertinent messages here and others have commented on them.

What I find poignant ( and you have ended your post with this issue) is that the elderly are often neglected by their own families, in the small matters of every day daily life. They might ring regularly but they are not there to help.

Bella Sinclair said...

My gosh. You take a lovely, lovely painting and infuse her with such character and life. I could actually hear the quavering in her voice. This reminded me of The Giving Tree, a book I cannot read without crying just a little bit.

Excuse me. I need to go call my parents now.

studio lolo said...

I'd do anything to have my mother back so I could do things for her and with her.
Lonliness is a sad state. There's really no excuse for anyone to be all alone unless they want it to be that way. And if they say they do, I don't really believe them.

Poignant post missy. Just lovely.
And clever too ;)


Giggles said...

Wonderfully presented. Sadly most children find it annoying when a parent goes deaf. But the parent chooses to ignore the negative behavior...... This is really lovely...

Deanna said...

What's heartbreaking is that it is so true, so often.

Every Photo Tells A Story said...

Aw, and isn't her plight something we all fear. Not only to be neglected but to end up old and alone.

It's a great shame, Renee, to neglect someone who gave life and nurtured her young:( I'll never, ever understand how this can happen, but it does!

Love ya,


BT said...

I have just visited from Ces and her Dishes. Great story and I love the picture of the girl at the top with the bird. Beautiful. I am deaf too!

pRiyA said...

thank you for your comment renee.
here is a picture of a vulture that was once circling my head.
i kicked its butt so hard, it went away. it's back now. i think i am going to have to use a shotgun this time...

Debra said...

Don't Look Renee, but you have been tagged! Please check it out on my blog. (Yes I see you have been tagged before, I am doing it again)

Anonymous said...

Hi Renee, such a beautiful day because you are here!
I have noticed this with doctors, they try the small talk. Didn't click until you said it. Thank you for this help. I feel so confident because of the knowledge of going to Budapest. So when Prof Loescher was being kind but not taking much into consideration, it didn't bother me because I was getting help for my tooth and the transfer to a neurologist.
I have been spelling limp nodes incorrectly, silly me,lol! I laughed when I read a message softly telling me. I have limp nodes! Ha, ha!
Going to see your doctors must be so much more intense. I am so pleased you had a good result last visit. We all want you to stay with us here!
I went to doctors once and said I have a lot of sap in my ears. My doctor corrected me saying tree's have sap you get ear wax,lol! My hubby is use to me mixing words up and joining two different ones to make a new one.