Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Welcome Home

Bernice died on Monday. The last time I saw Bernice was at Sandi’s funeral, and even though she was very sick she looked beautiful like she always does.

We laughed; she always would make me laugh. Big gold earrings were on those ears of hers of course and she was dressed to the nines.

Sally and I are the only two left from my original support group now that Bernice has died; many friends and many deaths. I loved you all and I always will.

Bernice you wanted to be met at the Gates of Heaven and I believe you will, not only by your parents whom you adored but our dear friends that have helped to lighten our heavy load.


On Christmas Eve and Boxing Day I banged into Bernice’s husband at Riverview where my Mom still is and Bernice was. He said she wasn’t doing well but he would give her my love.

You wanted peace dear one and I hope that you have found it.

Goodnight dear friend.


Ces said...

So much sorrow and so much sadness Renee. I wish you strength and give you my love. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

Carrie @ Cottage Cozy said...

I am so sorry, Renee. Your heart must be heavy. Peace be with you, Bernice.

Blessings, Carrie

Jos said...

Oh Renee, another friend gone to join the others ... heaven must be getting quite crowded out with ones touched by your love. I do not say that lightly, nor as any kind of joke. I'm just astounded at your capacity to love. I am so sorry for your loss. xx Jos

ben said...

get to bed night-owl!! lol

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

My every condolences to you and my prayers to your dear friend Bernice's family. I pray she is with the angels.
Warmest regards,

Silver said...

"Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life." ~John Muir

May Bernice's family find comfort and peace at this time.


Jackie said...

Your posts always touch me and leave me speechless(which doesn't happen often).
You give a voice here for all those you shared support with in that room.
I love the piece of art work you have chosen here.I am sorry for the many deaths. I know this pain.
Thank you for making me pause to think always.
Today I pause for Bernice.

secret agent woman said...

Too many losses. I'm sorry.

Renee said...

Oh Ben how I love you.

Love Auntie Renee xoxo

Vicki Holdwick said...

Oh, Renee,

Does the sorrow and loss ever stop???

I am so sorry that you have lost another dear friend.

I send you a BIG hug and much love,


Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

So many losses. Surrounded by so much death have you come to any conclusions about the meaning of it all, Renee? How do you make sense of it? Or is there no sense to be made. It is the way of things and yet our minds fight so desperately against it....How have you been able to 'compute' what is happening?

Your friends and family who have died are held so tenderly in your heart and mind...and there, they will go on forever.

Arija said...

Renee, why oh why is there such a high incidence of cancer in Winnipeg???? Is it the use of pesticides in the growing of canola?
I am sorry there are so few of you left now.

How are you going dear heart?
Thank you so much for the lovely card of the tree of life. Wecan all use a lift.

Mim said...

Oh gosh Renee - how difficult. yes...strength and love, and I too am sorry for the loss of your friend

studio lolo said...

haunting image, lovely.

Beautiful tribute to your dear friend.
Blessings and peace to Bernice on her journey.

Blessings and peace to you because I love you.


yoborobo said...

Oh, Renee. I am so sorry you have lost another friend. God bless Bernice for her strength and her laughter. I pray for strength for her family, and for you, my dear friend. xoxoxo Pam

deb said...

I hope you don't mind if I add my quiet voice here.
Please accept sorrow for your loss, gratitude for the heavy heart that you still manage to spread such light with, and astounded humble respect for a woman who touches so many lives instead of grabbing and clutching at her own.
I wish you a day of peace.

( here through, Angie, Elizabeth, Ms. Moon, others )

Anonymous said...

Oh Renee,I am so sad to hear about Bernice. Your group is so special to me. My heartfelt sympathy to you. Barb

Silke said...

Dear Renee, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend and feel for you and her family! From you post, I can feel the bond of love that connects all of you in your support group and that bond cannot be broken! Sending you all my love! Silke

Karin Bartimole said...

at a loss for words, I send you love and a prayer for hopes to ease the loss Bernice's family is going through. Your strength remains an inspiration.
xxxooo K

soulbrush said...

and i too feel this pain for you dear one, yes she is now at peace, but it is so hard to let our loved ones go. lotsa kisses and hugs to you for today.

In the Light of the Moon said...

I'm sorry Renee,so much loss.After reading "Silver's" Quote I was so moved and that same sadness became a warmth.Let it blanket you on cold days Sweet Renee.Warmest Regards,Cat

Deborah said...

Amazing, beautiful painting... Ethereal. Renee, I am so sorry for yet another loss...Heavens' gain.

I believe in the Resurrection.
I believe in life that never ends.
I believe what I believe
and it makes me what I am.
I did not choose it,
No, it is choosing me,
It is the very truth of God
And not the invention of any man.
I believe it, I believe.
(Rich Mullins)

All of my love to you and prayers for strength for all who love Bernice. May the Peace of Christ be with you all. Love, Deb

Silke said...

I am so glad Jacquie likes the scarf! I knit all the love and healing energy into it I could... Love, Silke

Meghann LittleStudio said...

I am so very sorry you have lost another good friend. I will pray for all of you (I still pray for you every day).
Hugs my dear friend,

Annie said...

Such a long list, it made me cry.
So sorry for another loss in your life. Bernice is at peace and dancing with God right now. The sorrow is for us who miss those that have passed. Love you.xoxo

cinner said...

Renee, I am so sorry for your loss, You are very strong and I admire you.
I love the beautiful art piece you have shown. are you a painter too.Be well.

Silke said...

Renee, I forgot to say in my previous posts that I hope your sweet mother is recovering! You all have more strength than anyone I've known!! Love, Silke

Angie Muresan said...

Oh Renee, I am so sorry. I pray for peace and comfort for her dear husband and remaining family. And I pray for peace and comfort for you and Sally. You are so loved, dear Renee. Know that. In the midst of the greatest pain, know that you are loved beyond measure by the souls that are in heaven and by us miserable humans here on earth.
Love and hugs to you, dear Renee.

maggie's garden said...

How fortunate all those that have left have been to have had you there for them through to their transition. You are a very special earth angel. I'm so sorry you have to have such sorrow pouring over you. I wish you strength to get through this difficult time.
love to you and a big hug

lakeviewer said...

Oh dear, dear. What burdens you are carrying, what sorrows you lie down with. This new year better move heaven and earth for you. You need a shake up and big bang.

Wishing you comfort in the love of those around you, in the friends you have, in the spirit that supports you.

Angela Recada said...

Darling Renee, I'm so very sorry you've had another loss. Such a long list. It's so very sad.

May Bernice, her family, and all who love her, find peace.

And thank you for the card, dear heart. You must know how I cherish any words from you.

Sending you my love.

Lilacrobin said...

As I grow older, I learn that Heaven is now home to so many people we love....the list seems to grow every day. Those who have gone before us now exist in a better world with no pain or heartache.

It is those of us who are still here who suffer the pain of loss...I believe one day we will all be united again.

Sending you strength and many prayers...


Sarah said...

Awww hon..I am so sorry..what a rough year you have had.
What a beautiful tribute you have given her. May she be met and gently embraced by all who greet here there! Love you hon..I do, Sarah

jacquie said...

i know you will be taken in the arms of the angles to all of your loved ones who left us too soon bernice.
may you rest and replenish in the garden of eden. my thoughts and prayers are with your family.

aimee said...

i am so sorry...

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

I'm so sorry Renee for your loss of another friend. I'm sending you my love, my prayers and my gratitude for showing me what true strength of character really means. You amaze me and have changed my life.
Love, Darla

Allegra Smith said...

How can I say that my heart goes to you when you already have it? So my thoughts go to you and I rejoice at the lack of no more pain, no more nausea, no sweats and shivers, no pain coursing the body while trying to make a simple move, no dark thoughts that fill the soul with sadness.

Free. She is free now from all the
ravages of cancer that takes so much and yet...cannot take love with it, or compassion or friendship. She is free and so are we to mourn those who are gone before us but to keep them safe in our hearts. Nana taught me that a good memory only remembers good things. Just remember the good things and she will live in your heart for as long as you do.
I love you and I wish I could bring you a cup of tea and a hug.


PS: the word verification is concers. What are the odds?

A Palmer said...

I echo Jos sentiments. I'm so sorry for your loss. Stay strong as you always have been. Know that you have been a blessing to all those who have passed and continue to be to us. XXOOXX

The Dutchess said...

Dearest.....Follow your path..stay on it...your strength is there where your heart is..Now..have a GRAND New Years eve..

jacquie said...

thank you for your heartfelt kindness silke .......your words moved me to tears..........

Rob-bear said...

So much sadness,and so much joy at the same time.

Post eye surgery, I'm trying to get caught up with what I've missed. (Still can't actually read clearly, which is "moderate nuisance value").

Hoping your 2010 is a great one!

kj said...

i ask the same question arija asks. so high an incidence, renee.

love matters, as you know, my darling dearest friend. that is really the best i can say.

i remember reading about bernice before. i know she will be greeted warmly, gold earings in tact.


Margaret Ann said...

What a sisterhood of beautiful souls each gone too soon...Peace light and love to you.

Ruth said...

I'm terribly sorry about Bernice. I hope she is comfortable now.

mxtodis123 said...

My deepest sympathies. Just before Christmas, I, too, lost a friend. I am so sorry for your loss.

Dede said...

Oh Renee, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Bernice's family. Thank you for the card, you are truly a blessing!


RivkA with a capital A said...

I just found out that another women from my original support group just passed away.

That makes 6 out of 10.

I haven't been able to post about it yet.

We were closer than I was to the others. We've been supporting each other for two years.

one little acorn said...

Dear Renee.
There is nothing I can say to make it better or take away your sadness.
So many tears. So much love.
Thinking of you Renee and sending you all my love.

Manon Doyle said...

So many friends lost. Their beautiful spirits will remain with you Renee. I'm sorry for your loss sweet friend.


Noreen said...

The group that no one person longs to be in, yet, we depend on each other for support at times like these.

Thank you for your beautiful words of our dear friend, Bernice. I will miss her dearly.

Bella Sinclair said...

There is no end to the exhaustion from a heart drained by sorrow. Prayers for peace and strength to Bernice, as well as her family and friends. All my love to you.

How are you, Renee? How is your mother? xoxoxo

Baino said...

Oh God Renee, how awful to watch your circle of friends leave. It's like growing old before your time. Just not fair darling, not fair at all. May you be the last woman standing is all I can say.

Great-Granny Grandma said...

Dearest Renee -- My heart hurts for all the losses you have suffered, and I'm at a loss for words. If I were there in person, I would just give you the biggest silent hug, but since I', not, here's a virtual one. (((((HUG)))))

Anonymous said...

Bless so much. Must be really difficult to say goodbye to so many beautiful friends.

You are special Renee!

I have painted a couple more faces today, wooo! Coming along. I want to show you but I don't!
Wishing it to be a suprise!

Keep smiling Renee and can I say painting you all, your family is so very beautiful and have now been able to tell your two daughters apart. They looked like two beautiful twins. Their faces and personalities shine so much.



Gloria said...

Renee, may you somehow find comfort this coming year. You have had so many sorrows. My thoughts are with you and I wish you peace and happiness. I'm sorry for your losses.

Karen D said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, may peace be with you and your friends family at this time.

Bella Sinclair said...

So very grateful to hear about your mother. Shelly is a beautiful blessing.

Pinch me, poke me, spit in my eyes, scream until my ears bleed. I can take it and more. You can take anything out on me. I'm your personal Bozo doll.

Love you.

Isabel said...

I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Bernice is now watching over you I am sure. My heart goes out to her loved ones.

Barbara said...

So sorry, Renee. So sad for you, but what a sweet tribute to her. This post is so beautiful and your friend so sweetly remembered.My thoughts are with you tonight. xoxo B

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I know this feeling that you share, Renee. I am sorry for the loss of your friend and for her family. It always seems so surreal when we lose someone who has come into our lives and the way they affect us.
My prayers are with you and her family.

BT said...

Renee, I am so sorry that Bernice has been lost to you along with the others. You must feel so sad and I send you my love.

Lori ann said...


love to you dear Renee,


LDWatkins said...

I'm so sorry for yet another loss for you, Renee. May the coming year treat you kinder than the old one has. I do hope your mother is resting comfortably. My love to you all, Lynda

Caroline said...

So, so sorry to hear of your loss. I don't understand how you've managed. Your strength is truly amazing, I wish I could take it all away from you... the pain that is, and make it all better!
I pray that God would continue to strengthen you. May all the days of your life be filled with Love & Joy. Thank you for all your beautiful words. Sincerely Caroline

Mariana Soffer said...

I am so sorry Renne, I wish you all the best, and hope I can send you all my strength and love and also help you in an way I can.

ToM KiDDo said...

I'm so sorry...Hope Bernice rest in peace...

Woman in a Window said...

the world
does hold our hearts
in its hands


Sue said...

Renee, to read your post and see the long list of your friends who have fought this fight is sobering indeed. I am so sorry for the loss of yet another of this closeknit group of friends.

Sending love and hope to you.

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry! I hope you and her family have found some peace with her passing!

Kathleen said...

Angels all. My beloved grandmother's name was Bernice. Just past the Gates of Heaven, the Bernices are laughing and admiring each other's adornments.
Love and hugs to you, Renee

Daria said...

Losing a sister is so difficult ... I'm so sorry.

RNSANE said...

I am just now reading this post, dear Renee. It is so hard, I know, seeing friends who have been a support to you, succumb to their illnesses. All I can do, from this distance and just being a new blogging friend, is offer my condolonces and cybelove and wish you strong shoulders to lean on and dear friends nearby to share your grief.

Bridgett said...

I'm very, very sorry for your loss. :(

julie mitchell said...

So sorry for your loss of so many friends...but how blessed you are to have shared so much love among your sisters, you have many angels watching over even in sadness. Please feel my the good vibes and I'm sending your way...hug, hug

Marie S said...

Hellllllllllllllllloooooooooo... Darling, we have been waiting for you.
Follow me, I have so much to show you, the spa, tea at 4 for everyone and just beautiful clouds and music all of the time. We can all check in on our dear's below and bless them after I get you acclimated to the place. I have been getting every thing ready for you.
Just rest a bit dear and breathe in the peace with no pain and no struggle.
I will come and get you in a bit... and Bernice… the girls and I have been waiting and we love you and we are so excited you are here.
Time means nothing here so it will be no time before you are joined by the ones from below. Until then I can show you some tricks to hold them in your unlimited love and surprise them with thoughts of you... and feelings of you to help them pass their time. They will be fine.
Bernice... I love you!!!
Did I mention that I was excited???