Wednesday, 31 December 2008
She is my oldest child. She is my heart walking outside of my body. She is my first experience of selfless love. I was her first home and she was my first resident. She is the oldest of my three children. She has taught me more than I could ever teach her.
When Angelique arrived I was 19 years old and Wahid was 23. Oh my God, how much we loved this little girl. I didn’t understand how no one prepared us. No one let us know that nothing in the world would ever match the love I would have for my children. No one let me know the love I would have for my first child.
Love was in the air. I had read once that if you love someone put their names in a circle, because hearts can be broken, but circles never end. Into the circle Angelique went. As a matter of fact the circle started with Angelique.
Angelique looked like Snow White when she was a baby, with her black hair and peaches and cream skin. And now I am sure Snow White wishes she looked like Angelique.
Eventually as all little girls and boys tend to do, Angelique grew up and today she is 33 years old and has a little girl of her own. Now she knows the love. I don’t have to tell her, she feels it herself. Her heart too, now walks outside of her body.
Angelique’s 33 years are like whispers of love on the wind to me. Secrets and stories told on whispers from the stars to the leaves on the trees; down through the openings of the windows and past the burgundy sectional to the second bedroom up the hall to the right. Whispering I love you, you are my first child; you are my best foot forward.
I am in awe of the memories I have of Angelique. No matter how things have evolved in my life to this point, I can truly say there is so much joy. Angelique is one of my three greatest joys.
It is the tiniest distance those 33 years. I was carrying her in my arms, caressing her and counting her little fingers and toes. Sitting beside her crib admiring her hair and her skin and brushing aside imaginary pixie dust in case a fleck got caught in her eye or settled too close to her baby finger, trying to leave some of its magic when surely she had enough of her own.
Angelique was a happy little girl with big hazel eyes that sparkled all the time. If the power ever went out and we had no candles we would remember that we could sit Angelique up in the middle of the room and her sparkling eyes would give us light. We never ever had to worry about power outages after she was born.
For Angelique’s second birthday I got her a Fisher Price alphabet desk and she played with that forever and ever. Letters and words have always fascinated Angelique and by the time she was three-years old she would copy out the names from the white pages of the phonebook.
Because Angelique’s birthday is on the 31st of December she was always the youngest child in her class at school or at dancing or at baseball, basically anything she joined. If I tell you she is a ‘brainiac’ I would not be lying.
Angelique was the most curious little girl you could ever imagine. She took things apart just to see that she could put them back together. Words, science, figuring things out (including her cousin Ben); no stone will be unturned if she decides to turn it.
When Angelique was little many people thought that she was shy and I have to tell you if you ever have thought that, you would be wrong. Angelique checks out a situation first and then decides if she wants to be involved or not.
At seven years old Angelique got a typewriter for Christmas and wrote many stories for our listening pleasure. She sang many songs for Nadalene to help her fall asleep (the vegetable song is just one example) and she let Nathan sleep with her all the time because of the crocodiles waiting for him in the hallway (even if Nadalene wanted him out).
Angelique was a little girl with the best of manners and her heart beamed like a beacon. Deep inside she knew her name was more than just a name for me; it was her essence.
It is hard for me to believe that I have been a mother for 33 years now. I can’t think of anything I did that was truly meaningful and worthwhile before I became her Mom.
Just as Angelique played school with her friends (remember Cindy) everyday after school, she now gets paid to be a teacher for real. She teaches Grade 7 and absolutely loves her kids. She is completely invested in them and I am so happy to know that these lucky children have a teacher who completely cares about their well-being.
As a woman, Angelique is an incredible individual. She has helped me so much in so many ways.
When Angelique got her Honors in Psychology she would be so sweet and tell me and her Dad that we did everything right (we of course know we didn’t but we sure did try). When Angelique got her Education Degree we could not have been prouder (I think I would have loved to be a teacher).
Angelique got married to Don and they have given me my first grandchild (my darling girl Josephine Renee). How much do you think that means to me?
I love so many things about you Angelique and I love that you were the first person to make me feel like a million bucks. You would run into my arms and yell ‘Mommy, Mommy.’ I know that having your own little girl now you get exactly what I mean. You are truly one of the three most spectacular things to happen to me and I will love you forever and ever and ever.
She is the oldest of my children, my heart walking outside of my body, my first lesson that I could love someone better than myself. Angelique thank you for the privilege.
Happy Birthday Angelique. Love Mom, Dad, Nadalene, Nathan and Josephine.